Instructor dating DM, would I tell students?

[iluvtheocean]

My point of view -- as long as i'm getting the instruction i'm paying for and you're professional in how you act during class -- who cares what your relationship is to your DM? professional means keeping the romance out of the classroom and off the boat while with students. I don't care if it's GF/BF, wife/husband or whether it's a heterosexual or homosexual relationship -- you leave it at the door during class. In some aspect this applies to the students as well -- you're there to learn, not get a date, etc.

 

[Frosty]

Frankly I couldn't care less. UNLESS the relationship affects the service I get from the dive op.

 

[toddthecat]

It doesn't matter and no one cares. I agree with an earlier post stating that it's pretty much a narcissistic attitude to even think that it is relevant. One of two things is happening here. Either something has happened that made you look bad and you're trying to justify it (as a different person mentioned, you playing grabass with your girlfriend in front of students is unprofessional to begin with), OR you're just pumping up your narcissism because you're nailing your DM and decided everyone needed to know.

 

[bracko]

I wouldn't as part of the relationship between a DM and student is there so students can potentially question what the instructor says or does without fear of judgement.

If you tell everyone you're dating a student may not ask such questions in fear of the DM telling the instructor.


I would answer honestly if asked, but not explicitly tell the class. anyone with a bit of nous will know something is up anyway.

 

[Rich Keller]

I see no reason to hide this unless you do not want her husband to find out.

 

[KillerJupe]

Wow.. so many responses, thanks for the feedback.

I guess when I teach with her I have a friends only policy. I don't call her hun or give her a hug or anything that you wouldn't do with a normal DM but its defiantly different than our normal behavior.

Since I never really tell students I'm not sure how it could come up naturally. I think the most common time it may come up is when we are on break from ocean dives or during pool breaks and we are talking and curious about my diving past.

I think what some people had a good point about it being a good example of two people doing something together as a "buddy team" and how it could apply to them and their partner.

---------- Post added October 19th, 2013 at 10:59 PM ----------

Love this response and I totally understand.
I say GF but partner is more accurate, just feels like such a loaded word.

I DM for my husband. He introduces me as his wife. It isn't weird. But it really isn't relevant, except to explain to the students why I interrupt and correct him all the time

 

[Crass3000]

My instructor and DM for OW were married. It was the last thing on my mind. I was there to learn how to dive.

 

[Peter Guy]

As is so often the case, here on SB or in the Classroom, TSandM beat me to it.

As she wrote, I do introduce her as my wife although that is VERY obvious within about the first 10 minutes of the class (either that or she has zero respect for me -- hmmmm????)

 

[Doc]

Eventually it will likely serve as a demonstration of yet another of the "PADI's Ten Uses For a Dive Knife"

 

[Diver0001]

I'm an instructor and my partner is sometimes my fully certified and insured DM.
She thinks it's weird for me to not tell students, I think it is more professional.

I try to treat her just like I would any of my other DM's. I am friends w/ all my DM's and I think having a good connection w/ them makes the classes better but I don't want anyone to feel un comfortable the fact we are dating and working together sometimes.

I know this is a tough one because so much depends on group dynamics and other variables.... however...

What is your perspective, thoughts, ideas?

Thanks,
D

You certainly should tell the guys that she's your girlfriend. Telling the women is optional

j/k

I can imagine it becoming more awkward NOT to tell them. It's not impossible for one of the students to develop a crush on one or the other of you (at least, this is what I assume.... sadly I seem to have "lost it" at this point and it's never happened to me that I know of)..... The point being that if it's clear from day-one it's probably best.

R..

---------- Post added October 20th, 2013 at 10:46 PM ----------

As is so often the case, here on SB or in the Classroom, TSandM beat me to it.

As she wrote, I do introduce her as my wife although that is VERY obvious within about the first 10 minutes of the class (either that or she has zero respect for me -- hmmmm????)

LOL.... actually I think all threads should auto-lock after Lynne makes a post seeing is how her first post usually says everything we needed to know

R..