Close call in the dressing room

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After an absence of many years, Warhammer returned to ScubaBoard briefly a couple of years ago, primarily in a thread in which other bygone heroes of this forum returned for a reunion of sorts. Who knows? He might return to join this thread.
 
Some say let sleeping thread die but this one shouldn't be missed!
 
As this thread was brought up in Basic Scuba, I thought it deserved a bump.:bump:
 
Still the funnies thread on SB
 
I guess I can add my most recent losing battle with a wetsuit to this list of sorry stories.

I try not to dive where I need to use a wetsuit, but this last August I was doing my Solo class in a local lake, so I dug out my trusty old 7/6/5 after work on the evening before the class, and decided to put it on, just to check things out.
Maybe it had been longer since I last used the suit than I thought, or maybe gremlins had snuck in and cut several inches out of it, but whatever the reason, after fighting, and full of determination, squeezing my lumpy old body into the Damn thing it seemed to suddenly have turned into a boa constrictor.
I could not breath,
I also could not get the now VERY wet (August here is Muggy, VERY muggy) wetsuit off of my shoulders, and there was no one else around.
If I failed to get myself free, I realized that I could remain undiscovered in the attic over my garage until the smell of decay attracted attention. ( in Aug here that would not take very long, not that this would have helped me)
There was no way I could walk down the stairs from the attic in that full body straight jacket/sauna combo. I'd have had to just tip over, and hope I would survive to hobble out in the yard and yell till someone heard me.

The word panic has been used elsewhere in this thread, and I certainly understand where that emotion comes from. Even after getting my one shoulder free, it took me forever to peel that suit the rest of the way off of my now totally soaked body. Even once I was free, I still could barely get a decent breath, and the temperature in that attic storeroom now seemed to have climbed to well over 110f!

Needless to say, I used a rental suit 3 sizes larger for my class, and I have NOT even attempted to get into my already tight, the last time I used it, drysuit!
 
I guess I can add my most recent losing battle with a wetsuit to this list of sorry stories.

I try not to dive where I need to use a wetsuit, but this last August I was doing my Solo class in a local lake, so I dug out my trusty old 7/6/5 after work on the evening before the class, and decided to put it on, just to check things out.
Maybe it had been longer since I last used the suit than I thought, or maybe gremlins had snuck in and cut several inches out of it, but whatever the reason, after fighting, and full of determination, squeezing my lumpy old body into the Damn thing it seemed to suddenly have turned into a boa constrictor.
I could not breath,
I also could not get the now VERY wet (August here is Muggy, VERY muggy) wetsuit off of my shoulders, and there was no one else around.
If I failed to get myself free, I realized that I could remain undiscovered in the attic over my garage until the smell of decay attracted attention. ( in Aug here that would not take very long, not that this would have helped me)
There was no way I could walk down the stairs from the attic in that full body straight jacket/sauna combo. I'd have had to just tip over, and hope I would survive to hobble out in the yard and yell till someone heard me.

The word panic has been used elsewhere in this thread, and I certainly understand where that emotion comes from. Even after getting my one shoulder free, it took me forever to peel that suit the rest of the way off of my now totally soaked body. Even once I was free, I still could barely get a decent breath, and the temperature in that attic storeroom now seemed to have climbed to well over 110f!

Needless to say, I used a rental suit 3 sizes larger for my class, and I have NOT even attempted to get into my already tight, the last time I used it, drysuit!

I'm pretty sure it's a verifiable scientific fact that gremlins make our wetsuits smaller each year. I think they target the suits of people nearing 50 for some reason. Why they target divers nearing 50 requires further peer-reviewed study, but I know it must be true.
 

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