I need a scatterbrain-proof system. Any one have their own?

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This one is the one I use. I have not forgotten anything since:

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Well, I'm guessing you have WAAAAAAAY more dives under your belt! I've got about 12.

For instance.... I don't even kmnow what a pony necklace is! o_O

There are divers who have forgotten gear and divers who are going to forget gear.

There are divers who have lost gear at depth (due to unclipping, dropping, broken retractor, etc) and those divers who are going to lose gear during a dive.

A pony necklace is a big piece of tubular rubber that is attached to the mouthpiece of a secondary regulator (either an octo, attached to a pony bottle or another cylinder) and the necklace keeps it right below your chin so it's immediately available in an emergency.

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Hire a PA.
 
Do all cylinders turn in the same direction? Of course I guess it depends which way the cylinder is turned...

When you are facing the knob, "Righty Tighty, Lefty Loosey"

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Hire a PA.

I'm picturing the guy ready to splash off the dive boat, filled with about 20 other divers, all geared up, and one pretty secretary type with the black eyeglass frames, the smart looking blouse and dress, whose got the clipboard in her hands and is rattling off each piece of gear while he says "check!"
 
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My wife and i GO THROUGH A RUTUAL one bag at a time. we grab our bag and do a mock suit up. We start VIRTUALLY naked. in goes the suit then the skin then the wet suit and booties, fins mask, and perhaps a hood. Then we virtually set up our gear . in goes tested BCD, in goes the regs in goes the computers and testers. In goes the weights. We then virtually get out of the water.. In goes the towels in goes the log books in goes a wet bag. Then we VIRTUALLY load the special stuff. In goes the camera stuff ect. Done bag goes into the car. Do the same for the other persons dive bag. and in to the car. Then the same process goes for site stuff. tarp food, changing room. butt wipe, cloths drying lines repair kit etc.

Use a check list and once the filled bag gets in the car you do not touch it again till you are setting up for real., open the bag for any reason and it is done in the house and you redo the process prior to returning the bag to the car.
 
https://www.shearwater.com/products/swift/

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