Fear Into the Abyss

[JasmineNeedsGills]

Dive within your comfort level. This is supposed to be fun.

This, this, THIS.

There's lots of things I'd like to see, but I know that (for now, at least) are beyond my comfort zone, so I don't. If I'm not enjoying it, then it's not for me. You can always come back when you're more confident and experienced. No rush.

 

[CosbySweater]

I'd bet that there was once a time when you thought diving to 60 feet in open water was scary. I'd also bet that you think nothing of it now.

I typically find that the scary places are always where you aren't or where you have never been before. They are always over the wall, or inside that cavern, or 100 feet away where you can't see. They're very rarely exactly where you are. Go over that wall, or in that cavern and the fear isn't there, it's now now deeper in that cavern, or further down that wall. The point I'm trying to make is that the unknown creates fear.

Very rarely have I found myself frightened by being exactly where I am. I'm always frightened by "what's over there". Once I reach "there" the fear has left and gone somewhere else, or disappeared completely.

This is not to suggest that you go in to the cavern, or further down that wall (unless properly trained and equipped) but to realize that your fear is created by an unfamiliarity with the unknown. It is perfectly natural. Slowly turn the unknown in to a known, by taking small, incremental steps, and the fear will eventually disappear.

 

[rob.mwpropane]

I'd bet that there was once a time when you thought diving to 60 feet in open water was scary. I'd also bet that you think nothing of it now.

I typically find that the scary places are always where you aren't or where you have never been before. They are always over the wall, or inside that cavern, or 100 feet away where you can't see. They're very rarely exactly where you are. Go over that wall, or in that cavern and the fear isn't there, it's now now deeper in that cavern, or further down that wall. The point I'm trying to make is that the unknown creates fear.

Very rarely have I found myself frightened by being exactly where I am. I'm always frightened by "what's over there". Once I reach "there" the fear has left and gone somewhere else, or disappeared completely.

This is not to suggest that you go in to the cavern, or further down that wall (unless properly trained and equipped) but to realize that your fear is created by an unfamiliarity with the unknown. It is perfectly natural. Slowly turn the unknown in to a known, by taking small, incremental steps, and the fear will eventually disappear.

Thanks, I think that was written pretty well. I agree with everything you said. It is exciting and scary at the same time.....I guess next I'll have to post pictures what's at the bottom of the wall

Might happen this weekend or next.

 

[CosbySweater]

Thanks, I think that was written pretty well. I agree with everything you said. It is exciting and scary at the same time.....I guess next I'll have to post pictures what's at the bottom of the wall

Might happen this weekend or next.

That's one of the things that makes diving so great - it can be fun and a little scary at the same time. What makes it fun is also what makes it a little scary. We're in an environment we're not adapted to, seeing things most people don't get to see, sometimes in challenging conditions. With that comes a lot of unknowns but also almost endless opportunities to overcome the fear of the unknown and reap the benefits of doing so.

I think every diver is a little nervous before their first open water dive, their first deep dive, their first wreck dive, their first night dive. If they experienced those things for the first time with the proper training, equipment, and supervision, then it was likely an incredible experience for them and the fear lifted as soon as they arrived at the place they thought their fears were. Your wall will be the same. Just take it slow. Maybe go just over the edge and come back. Then next time you can go a few feet deeper and before you know it that deep dark ledge wont be nearly as frightening because you know whats down there. Having a trusted buddy join you will make it even more enjoyable. I actually had the same fear of going over the wall at my local quarry so I know exactly how you feel.

Another way I've found to reduce fear and anxiety is to reduce the number of unknowns that I can control. So that means finding out as much about the dive site as I can (maybe you can ask other divers at the quarry what the viz and temp are over the wall, and what the maximum depth is), ensuring I have a solid dive plan in place and that I follow my plan, ensuring that I've briefed the dive plan to myself and my buddy, and ensuring that myself and my buddy have the proper gear for the dive plan and that our gear is in good working order.

 

[BlueTrin]

Ok, so I've toyed with the idea of posting this as I'm not usually "scared". I've had it happen to me twice now over the last few years where I'm in the quarry, there's other people in the quarry just not exactly next to me. I go to look at something where it's eerie and dark and all of a sudden fear creeps up my spine and I can't do it. I look out into the abyss and I just can't do it. My brain tells me there's nothing there, I know there's nothing there, but fear gets the better of me and I swim the other direction. It's only happened when visibility was less than par. If someone's near me, I have no issues whatsoever.

The other day I was at the top of a wall looking down and I could not bring myself to go down it. The sun was setting, viz was ~ 10' or so, but I was losing light fast. This is really unusual for me as I'm not ever scared. I love being scared, scary movies, haunted houses with the kids, jump outs...but when I looked down that darn wall I felt fear, and it stopped me dead in my tracks. I lied to myself and said no we'll save that for another day, but it was fear.

So what do you do, does that go away at some point? Is there something I can do to not have that happen? I will say that I feel the fear, but I don't "react" to it, it's not like I fly back to the surface gasping for air, I just simply swim the other way.

To be honest, I get the same notion, although smaller, when I'm surface swimming and can't see the bottom. It's just something in me gets sceered! There's a part of me that likes it, but there's also a part of me that wants to be able to control this or be able to "dive" through it at least

Any / all suggestions welcome...... even if it's just to tell me I'm a pansy

I had the same feeling when I would go in a slightly deep dive and vis was so bad that you would feel like it’s night and the only source of light would be your torch and your buddy’s torch

But I got eventually used to it.

 

[Dubious]

I have to bring a light with me for quarry wall dives. It just provides me peace of mind.

 

[scubadada]

My wife started diving with a real fear of dropping into the blue/black. She largely got over this with our diving in Bonaire. Swimming out over the shallows before getting to the wall was very helpful, followed by descent, a little deeper each time. She became very comfortable diving down the wall to the point that dropping directly in deeper water was no longer frightening to her.

Acknowledging your fear, and then facing it gradually, so it is not so threatening, may help you overcome it.

 

[tmassey]

So no one else gets that uneasy feeling? The excitement, the fear?

All. The. Time.

I'll give you an example that's pretty darn similar to yours. There's a local lake about 40 minutes from here where I have started doing practice dives. The viz is universally poor: 15-20 feet. There are things sunk on the bottom: a small cabin cruiser. A platform. An elevated oil drum. And more past that. And they're all in 25 feet of water, no more.

I've dove this section to use the platform probably a dozen times or so. In swimming out, I get to the items in the order listed above. And I know that I will get totally spooked out by each and every object as I come upon them.

It's that period of time leading up to them resolving in front of me. At first, there's an ever so slightly darker patch, that grows and develops over 10-15 seconds until eventually I recognize it as the object. I am seriously creeped out during that entire time. The bigger problem is, an ever so slightly darker patch isn't *always* the object: sometimes it's just a change in depth or bottom contour or bottom surface. Yet every time that happens I get the creeped out feeling.

And it takes *several* minutes to swim out along the shore to where the objects are. So that's *several* minutes of being on that line of fear.

I hate this. I hate this *so* much that it's the swim out to the platform that is the single biggest obstacle to me using this lake more often. I just can't always make myself put my gear in the car knowing that this is how it will go.

What makes it worse is that the platform is between the cabin cruiser and the oil drum, and both are *just* far enough away that they don't really resolve into objects. So, if I swim around the platform, I'm constantly presented with those half-resolved objects just beyond my vision.

I find that this is much worse when I'm diving solo (as I tend to do in this lake, as nobody else wants to spend an hour swimming around a platform in 65 degree water with 15' of viz). With a buddy, the creepiness is still very much there, but to a lesser level throughout, especially once it's resolved. (I'm still creeped out by 100% solo diving, so basically my margin for creepiness is much lower when solo.)

The first time I experienced it I was diving with my daughter in a different local lake for the first time. We were following a line which took us to various objects. The first object was a boat sitting on end. Same thing: major creepiness as this dark, looming object resolved itself, then momentary huge spike of fear as you realize that this is a boat on its end -- and it's going to fall on you now! Half a second to realize that no, it's just fine...

It was funny: I was leading my daughter, and I screamed when I recognized the boat. A couple of seconds later, *she* screamed for the same reason! Good (?) times...

A few thoughts about this:

For me, it's the low visibility that does it. I've noticed I get a much lower version of the same feeling as I descend on a wreck. Looking down, it's blue and dark, and then slowly it gets darker, until a hazy outline appears, and then I relax as the details of the wreck resolve. It's worse the darker it is (like Great Lakes dives), but because it's farther away (maybe 40-50' instead of 15), the feeling of impending doom is much less.

Also, repetition is not really making that much of a dent. Like I said, I've done it a dozen times, and probably 6 times last summer alone. By the end of the summer I was better able to recognize it and put it aside, but the level was not really less: just more expected. Mental preparation has helped to address it, but doesn't reduce it.

Also, I do *way* creepier diving than this. I'm a baby Full Cave diver, with maybe 20 dives of >1000' penetration into caves. I've been doing wreck diving in Pompano and Lake Huron for a decade, and I've wiggled through various kinds of restrictions deep into wrecks. Sometimes I'm alarmed or concerned, but *never* with that same feeling of deep, uncomfortable fear that I get from a perfectly harmless 25' open-water environment 50 feet offshore...

Exactly the same as what you're experiencing? Dunno. But yes, there are perfectly harmless situations that will put a massively uneasy fear in my head. I mentally know what's going on and that allows me to continue through it, but even with that, I'm not able to actually reduce the actual uneasiness, just address it.

 

[rob.mwpropane]

All. The. Time.

I'll give you an example that's pretty darn similar to yours. There's a local lake about 40 minutes from here where I have started doing practice dives. The viz is universally poor: 15-20 feet. There are things sunk on the bottom: a small cabin cruiser. A platform. An elevated oil drum. And more past that. And they're all in 25 feet of water, no more.

I've dove this section to use the platform probably a dozen times or so. In swimming out, I get to the items in the order listed above. And I know that I will get totally spooked out by each and every object as I come upon them.

It's that period of time leading up to them resolving in front of me. At first, there's an ever so slightly darker patch, that grows and develops over 10-15 seconds until eventually I recognize it as the object. I am seriously creeped out during that entire time. The bigger problem is, an ever so slightly darker patch isn't *always* the object: sometimes it's just a change in depth or bottom contour or bottom surface. Yet every time that happens I get the creeped out feeling.

And it takes *several* minutes to swim out along the shore to where the objects are. So that's *several* minutes of being on that line of fear.

I hate this. I hate this *so* much that it's the swim out to the platform that is the single biggest obstacle to me using this lake more often. I just can't always make myself put my gear in the car knowing that this is how it will go.

What makes it worse is that the platform is between the cabin cruiser and the oil drum, and both are *just* far enough away that they don't really resolve into objects. So, if I swim around the platform, I'm constantly presented with those half-resolved objects just beyond my vision.

I find that this is much worse when I'm diving solo (as I tend to do in this lake, as nobody else wants to spend an hour swimming around a platform in 65 degree water with 15' of viz). With a buddy, the creepiness is still very much there, but to a lesser level throughout, especially once it's resolved. (I'm still creeped out by 100% solo diving, so basically my margin for creepiness is much lower when solo.)

The first time I experienced it I was diving with my daughter in a different local lake for the first time. We were following a line which took us to various objects. The first object was a boat sitting on end. Same thing: major creepiness as this dark, looming object resolved itself, then momentary huge spike of fear as you realize that this is a boat on its end -- and it's going to fall on you now! Half a second to realize that no, it's just fine...

It was funny: I was leading my daughter, and I screamed when I recognized the boat. A couple of seconds later, *she* screamed for the same reason! Good (?) times...

A few thoughts about this:

For me, it's the low visibility that does it. I've noticed I get a much lower version of the same feeling as I descend on a wreck. Looking down, it's blue and dark, and then slowly it gets darker, until a hazy outline appears, and then I relax as the details of the wreck resolve. It's worse the darker it is (like Great Lakes dives), but because it's farther away (maybe 40-50' instead of 15), the feeling of impending doom is much less.

Also, repetition is not really making that much of a dent. Like I said, I've done it a dozen times, and probably 6 times last summer alone. By the end of the summer I was better able to recognize it and put it aside, but the level was not really less: just more expected. Mental preparation has helped to address it, but doesn't reduce it.

Also, I do *way* creepier diving than this. I'm a baby Full Cave diver, with maybe 20 dives of >1000' penetration into caves. I've been doing wreck diving in Pompano and Lake Huron for a decade, and I've wiggled through various kinds of restrictions deep into wrecks. Sometimes I'm alarmed or concerned, but *never* with that same feeling of deep, uncomfortable fear that I get from a perfectly harmless 25' open-water environment 50 feet offshore...

Exactly the same as what you're experiencing? Dunno. But yes, there are perfectly harmless situations that will put a massively uneasy fear in my head. I mentally know what's going on and that allows me to continue through it, but even with that, I'm not able to actually reduce the actual uneasiness, just address it.

Completely understood.

If my buddy was closer (or willing to go down the wall, which she's not) I don't think it would've been an issue. It's definitely the being "all alone" that got me, along with the getting dark and 1st time in that particular quarry. After I started this thread it got me thinking, and if I'm being honest, that's what draws me to it. The fear and the challenge of overcoming that fear. If I didn't like it I don't think I would get so excited and anxious to get back in.

I layed in bed that night thinking about the wall, kept having that feeling of when your falling, heart was racing....might even have dreamt about it a little. Really can't wait to get back in. I mean, there must be something that's exciting about getting into 42f water in a wetsuit when it's 44f outside....all my close friends just assume that there's something wrong with me.

Next time I'll push a little further.

Does anyone know the timeline for when a quarry clears up? I'm surprised that the viz wasn't a little better for this time of year. It was maybe 10'+, I was expecting a little more. As far as I saw, there are no zebra mussels.

 

[jadairiii]

My guess would be that you have a bit of claustrophobia. My wife was admittedly claustrophobic, she could dive in clear water but no way murky, and for that reason. She knew it.

Go into a pool at night, work on getting used to being in dark water but in a completely controlled environment.