My first checkout dive at the sea: "You will die! Oh, I meant dive..."

[Dubious]

I'm afraid that he can fail me again!

I am the type of person that is afraid to fail at whatever I do, but I have learned that failure is an important part of growth. The things I have failed at are the things that I have seen the most growth in. Of course, you have to push through that fear to come out on the other side.

During my first check out dive for OW I had both 2nd stages free flow. I stayed calm originally but then started to panic as I began to feel the need to breathe. I failed to be able to sip air from the free-flowing regulator and did not think of reaching for my instructors or wife-buddies safe second. I bolted to the surface. I was in shock of what happened and was ready to throw in the towel, not just because it scared the crap out of me but because I failed at basic skills taught in our confined water dives. As I swam to the shore I knew that if I did not get back into the water right then and there I may never again. On land, I struggled to get the new 1st stage onto my tank so the hoses were on the right side (I had it upside down). The shop manager joked with me about it which did not help. I got situated and headed back into the water completing the rest of the skills.

I guess what I am saying is I hope you come back with a refresher course update.

 

[Colliam7]

I went to the sea for the first time, to the dive shop that my friend recommended. I was required to do a checkout dive with an instructor. I thought it was a good idea because it's my first sea diving experience.

I agree. It is/was a very good idea. Ocean diving, with variables such as currents, potentially greater depths, etc. can be quite different from lakes and quarries. That doesn't mean 'better', or even 'harder' necessarily, but different.

We went for a shallow dive (5.5m max depth). I attempted to perform a buddy check with the "BWRAF rule", but got confused because he uses very non-standard gear. I didn't find any buckles, didn't find a weight belt and weights, and both of his regulators were black. Despite this, I didn't ask any questions about his gear and said that everything is ok - it was my first mistake (my inner voice: it's not ok to dive with gear like this! But he is an instructor...). He used a back-inflation BC. I heard about that type but never seen it before. I used normal standard rented gear.

An important part of the pre-dive safety check is gaining an understanding of your buddy's gear configuration, which means asking him about it, if you aren't familiar with it. I would never 'fail' a diver who was unfamiliar with my BP/W, and for whom I had to explain it. I might 'fail' them if they simply did a rote check without asking questions, and overlooked important items.

Our plan was to hover in mid-water and perform several drills: remove and replace the mask, recover the lost regulator, and perform air share. I can do it at the bottom, but I have never done it in mid-water.

You are not alone. Quite a number of divers are unable to manage buoyancy while performing skills, because they were a) never taught to do so, and/or b) haven't progressed to the point of competent multi-tasking. That is a developed skill. Just because you couldn't do it last week, doesn't mean you can't learn it.

We got out of the water and I had a long talk about that crappy dive, but the first that I heard was "You will die! Oh, I meant dive... after taking a refresher course". He was concerned about my buoyancy control skills (or lack of them) and my near-panic reaction. It was too unsafe, so he couldn't allow me to dive.

This is an Instructor 'call'. And, for me, here are the issues, starting with Open Water certification: a) when I certify a diver, or when I just sign a logbook indicating that I have conducted a refresher, my name is now linked to that diver. While I cannot be responsible for all of that diver's future activities, my name being associated with the diver is an indication that I deemed the diver to be competent, at least at the time I affixed my signature; b) I also have a professional obligation to a diver who works with me - if I consider the diver's skills to be inadequate to the point that the diver might conceivably be harmed because of inability to perform skills properly under conditions that s/he is likely to encounter in the near future, I have an obligation to say so, and 'saying so' might be reflected in refusing to certify, or refusing to sign off on a refresher. Frankly, taking YOUR description of your performance (unable to manage buoyancy, unable to perform a regulator recovery skill, unable to control ascent rate, unable to perform an adequate pre-dive safety check) at face value, I might have been inclined to do the same thing, although I certainly would NOT have resorted to the 'You will die!' nonsense. That does NOT mean that I would never 'sign off' on a refresher for you, only that - at that point in time - I believed you needed additional work and skill development.

I have signed up for a refresher course (it starts next week). I'm afraid that he can fail me again! I'm thinking about to give up and throw away my cards now.

Well, I can understand your mindset at the moment. When I was taking technical dive training, I actually 'quit' the course 3-4 times, primarily out of frustration with my own performance. One time, I was in the water with a second trainee, and two Instructors, both of whom were also friends. I had an absolutely horrible training dive - I couldn't do anything right, and got tired of being told, in underwater hand signals, that I was doing things wrong. When we finally exited the water, I took off my rig and drysuit, and packed up my gear without saying anything to the others, then said simply 'That's it for me. I quit. You all go ahead and continue.', and left the quarry. But, each time, after I had a chance to reflect on the situation, I came back with determination to master the skill(s) that I was unable to do at first. And, I did.

Any advice?

I would suggest you work with this particular Instructor again. Yes, as has been noted, it sounds from your description like his communication skills could stand improvement. But, communication requires action from both / all parties. Your job is to a) ask questions if you don't understand something - a skill, a gear configuration, an instruction, etc.), b) ask to try a skill again if it doesn't go well the first time (i.e. keep at it until you get it right), and c) keep working to improve. Now, it may turn out that the 'fit' between you and this Instructor is just not good, in which case going to another shop might be an option.

 

[Sallina]

Thanks all!
I have read all your replies several times. It's very inspiring.
I decided to continue with that instructor. I can deal with his specific sense of humor. An "Advanced sand digger" seems even more insulting than a "die/dive" joke. Anyway, I had laugh at that
Also, it's a good thing that my English is not as bad as I think

 

[Nathan Doty]

As a relatively new diver (weighing in here) but as someone who has spent a lifetime doing dangerous hobbies (I've had more fun almost dying than most), here's some thoughts.

A lake or quarry is a fairly contained space. The ocean, totally not. It's easy to be decent in a controlled environment and take those exact same skills to an uncontrolled and tank it seriously. That doesn't mean you can't do those skills, it means you need practice.

A skilled diver tends to be more horizontal than a newbie. And a BPW is easier to be horizontal than a vest. I work hard to be horizontal'ish but I'm not there yet. I did my first real ship swimthrough recently and OMG did I screw that up. Fortunately with a current the silt settles ok...

A hover just below surface is HARD in my opinion. 1 breath and you're in the air. If I'm at safety stop depth without a rope I prefer to be slightly heavy and just do a very slow kick to maintain, otherwise I bob to the surface. At 15 feet max deapth, you're in safety zone from the beginning, easy to bob up and not much time after a mistake before you hit bottom. I'd like to just float, but I'm not there yet.

Buddy checks are more than just get in the water and hope I see what I'm used to seeing. If I'm with someone new I can see on the surface what their gear is. If I'm unfamiliar, I need to ask, not assume. And TBH if it's your first time diving together and he knows he's using different gear, he needs to walk you through placement. Where it is and not what color it is is important.

When I did share air during check out, my instructor didn't actually breath out of my reg. He just wants to see you move and offer. We dive with a safe 2nd, not an octo. So transition over, offer your main. The point (in reality) is that you can help someone breathe, not breathe but only out of a specific reg. You might have gotten dinged, but he you should offer your main. If you've lost it... different story. The reason he signaled OOA immediately is because he KNEW you had lost it and wanted to see what you would do. In a dangerous situation you need to be able to think and work a problem.

So if you look at your list from a 3rd party perspective, would you expect that diver to pass OW? Or would you expect him to need some additional training/practice? Does that mean the diver is hopeless? Or that he needs time to get better?

From a different sport, I used to fly. When I was in training I got easily 4 or 5 practice landings for every actual landing. Because try as I might I ended up just bouncing down the runway until the plane finally settled. And I hated it, and I complained (about myself) to my instructor. So we sat down and did some math. Despite all the hours in the air, I had less than 45 seconds actually landing. "How good do you honestly expect to be, after 45 seconds practice?" So knowing I needed work on that skillset wasn't a slam, and I shouldn't feel bad for sucking at it. We just need to work it.

So take the remedial class, enjoy the work, get better. Easy peasy.

 

[TMHeimer]

I'm sorry for the grammar errors. English is not my native language. I can read and understand well, but writing is challenging for me.

I'm an AOW certified diver with 45 logged dives. All of them were in lakes and local quarries. I did not dive for 4 months.
I went to the sea for the first time, to the dive shop that my friend recommended.
I was required to do a checkout dive with an instructor. I thought it was a good idea because it's my first sea diving experience.
We went for a shallow dive (5.5m max depth). I attempted to perform a buddy check with the "BWRAF rule", but got confused because he uses very non-standard gear. I didn't find any buckles, didn't find a weight belt and weights, and both of his regulators were black. Despite this, I didn't ask any questions about his gear and said that everything is ok - it was my first mistake (my inner voice: it's not ok to dive with gear like this! But he is an instructor...). He used a back-inflation BC. I heard about that type but never seen it before.
I used normal standard rented gear.

Our plan was to hover in mid-water and perform several drills: remove and replace the mask, recover the lost regulator, and perform air share. I can do it at the bottom, but I have never done it in mid-water.
I was extremely worried about it, but decided to have a try.

1) Hovering
I went down to the bottom, then added air to my BC for neutral buoyancy. I tried to mimic he's position (he was in a horizontal position with legs up) but had no success. After several retries, I hovered in a semi-vertical position. He gave me an ok signal, I returned it and proceeded.

2) Removal and replacement of the mask
I took off my mask, put it on, cleared it, but lost my buoyancy control and hit the bottom. It's hard to do something else while hovering.

3) Regulator recovery
I had grabbed the wrong hose and put my octopus in my mouth instead of my primary regulator. And hit the bottom again.
Immediately after that, he gave me an "out of air" signal! I was taught to allow an OOA diver to take my octo, but I was breathing from it right now! I freaked out, gave him a "thumb up" signal, and surfaced.

Also, I exceeded the maximum safe ascent rate. I forgot to check my spg regularly. I forgot to secure my spg with a clip and hit the rock with it several times.

We got out of the water and I had a long talk about that crappy dive, but the first that I heard was "You will die! Oh, I meant dive... after taking a refresher course". He was concerned about my buoyancy control skills (or lack of them) and my near-panic reaction. It was too unsafe, so he couldn't allow me to dive.
I never heard that someone ended a checkout dive like that. It was more like an exam than a dive.

I have signed up for a refresher course (it starts next week). I'm afraid that he can fail me again! I'm thinking about to give up and throw away my cards now.
That guy with a weird swimming technique (he swam backwards!) has amazing buoyancy control. He looks far more professional than my instructor.

As the other option, I can forget that "dive" and go to another shop, but feel that "you will die" is not far off...

Any advice?

I'll just comment a bit. Your English is almost perfect, unlike my Spanish (we should learn from you Europeans...).
1. Hovering... Doesn't matter what position. I do it horizontally when I'm looking at something or circling to poke spear a flounder. Or vertically, just when I feel like it. If you are tilted some way and unable to get the position you want, there is a (trim?) problem.
2. Mask task while hovering--OK, personally I agree. To be hovering and adding a task is more difficult than to just be hovering, or just be doing the task. Many respected instructors and experienced divers on Scubaboard will disagree, saying hovering and skill doing doesn't equal 2+2=4. Maybe I am in the minority.
3. Regulator recovery--Yes, why would he combine that with OOA? Hard to figure. By the way, only once as a divemaster did I see an instructor tell the class that if you can't locate your primary quickly, breathe off YOUR octo.

Yes, obviously you need some buoyancy fixups, maybe weighting or trim.
Don't give up. Get good training. Perhaps a P.P. Buoyancy course?