Instabuddy vs. Dive Safety

[Rose Robinson]

Hello All - I'm a relatively new diver, but it seemed appropriate to post in this sub forum...

I'm a safety and systems oriented person. I'm a PADI MSD (which, I think, doesn't mean much except that I've had a couple of key classes) and I intend to progress into Tech in the fullness of time, at a nice and steady pace so I don't get ahead of myself.

I like to travel and want to dive as much as I can wherever I go, but what I'm realizing as I do so is that every community I visit seems to have their own standards of safety, some pretty lax, whereas I'm more into the Human Factors in Diving perspective. I like a well thought out dive plan, even if it is a simple rec dive, with a brief and de-brief after. Since I'm usually traveling alone, I'm at the whim of the dive operator with regards to a buddy. So, my question is this: how do folks tend to handle this situation? And are there ways to find like minded divers thru social media (e.g., safety oriented groups on FB)?

Thanks!

FD,

First of all a group of divers on a charter is a primary sign of like mindedness.

When you travel, do your pre-planning, review the availability of operators at your destination, call the shop(s), ask as many questions as you think you need to satisfy your safety/other concerns, read their reviews.

If you are planning multiple days of diving during your stay, and you find you don't like your chosen operator, make some changes.

I find the term ''insta-buddy'' somewhat offensive, you are just as much an insta-buddy to your new partner as he/she is to you.

You may want to find a partner of ''like mind'' at home, and make your travelling plans together.

Contact your LDS and get involved with their local group dives, join a local dive club.

There are lots of ways to get and stay social.

If you are the the type being content to show up alone, you'll have to be content with someone else doing your picking and choosing.

Rose.

 

[Hoag]

I find the term ''insta-buddy'' somewhat offensive, you are just as much an insta-buddy to your new partner as he/she is to you.

I use the term to refer to any other person with whom I have instantly become a buddy with and yes, I am without a doubt their instabuddy. I mean no offense when I use the term, and I take no offense when someone uses it to refer to me.

If you are offended, then by all means do not use it, but by the same token do not assume that those who do use it are using it as a derogatory term.

I was on a LOB a few years ago and paired up with someone who I had never met before, and we became each others "instabuddy". At the end of the trip, there was an awards night, and my buddy and I were (quite tongue in cheek) presented with the "Best Instabuddies Ever" award.

 

[Manatee Diver]

For rec diving, unless I am with someone that I trust and we agree on the general dive plan I just dive solo. I bring an AL40, which contains at least 40% of the air supply of my primary tank. And I dive conservatively. On my last rec dives it was attempting to video the Goliaths during their aggregate. On 4 out of the 5 dives I found myself separated from the group by the end of the dive. I stopped to video something and by the time I looked up the rest of the group pulled a Linda Ronstadt on me. The current was pretty wicked, we did a mile and a half drift on one of the dives.

But with my pony, DSMB, and all the rest of the "Please find me" gear in my pocket I never felt that it was unsafe.

 

[ontdiver]

I went solo/self reliant after a few years because I didn't want to deal with some of the less than enjoyable insta-buddy situations that I had encountered. Ultimately, for me at least, it boils down to dive safety and getting the greatest return on my overall investment.

 

[Ayisha]

He or she can say that on the boat beforehand (I always talk with my insta buddies before diving), as, if that is the case, he or she is not planning to be my buddy but the DM's buddy. In that scenario, I would be able to get a different buddy before splashing.

P.S.: I already saw a DM doing very questionable choices that did not leave me confortable and are even beyond the guidelines of several agencies and one could argue common sense. If my buddy follows the DM blindly in a situation like that, it can be a very serious issue.

There's only so much that an unknown buddy pair talking about their expectations of the dive informs both divers. Some people dive differently than they might say they do. The real proof is during the dive itself. You may not know until after the dive begins that one or perhaps both buddies are uncomfortable with each other.

So you may not always know in advance. Sometimes you just need to talk through or do a reset after the first dive. That's why it's a good idea to do less challenging dives with an insta-buddy first, rather than a more challenging one that approaches personal limits.

 

[nolatom]

I also think learning diving is "pay it forward".

Remember those more-experienced buddies who were patient with you as a newbie early on, turned the diver "early" for your sake, and didn't whine when you finished with 500 while they still had 1000? And gave you useful critique, and encouragement? Which helped you get better?

You have a chance to be that buddy. I kind of think we owe it to the sport. Okay, not on the challenging dives where newbies shouldn't be, but on those routine nothing-special dives, where they should be? Yup

If you want good buddies, then be a good buddy to someone trying to improve. Other divers will silently thank you anonymously when they dive with that improved buddy.

 

[David Novo]

There's only so much that an unknown buddy pair talking about their expectations of the dive informs both divers. Some people dive differently than they might say they do. The real proof is during the dive itself. You may not know until after the dive begins that one or perhaps both buddies are uncomfortable with each other.

So you may not always know in advance. Sometimes you just need to talk through or do a reset after the first dive. That's why it's a good idea to do less challenging dives with an insta-buddy first, rather than a more challenging one that approaches personal limits.

That is true but, in some cases, they actually say so if you talk about it as this thread already showed.

 

[David Novo]

I also think learning diving is "pay it forward".

Remember those more-experienced buddies who were patient with you as a newbie early on, turned the diver "early" for your sake, and didn't whine when you finished with 500 while they still had 1000? And gave you useful critique, and encouragement? Which helped you get better?

You have a chance to be that buddy. I kind of think we owe it to the sport. Okay, not on the challenging dives where newbies shouldn't be, but on those routine nothing-special dives, where they should be? Yup

If you want good buddies, then be a good buddy to someone trying to improve. Other divers will silently thank you anonymously when they dive with that improved buddy.

I guess this is a different issue: one thing is a diver that has a high consumption rate (I include myself in this category), that has no buoyancy control because of lack of experience, etc. Regarding this and other examples related with experience and / or ability, I fully agree with you.

A different scenario is the atitude of "every man for himself" and disregard for the buddy team.

 

[Jim Lapenta]

I've had one bad experience with an insta-buddy. He liked to look at everything and stayed behind constantly which always drew the attention of the DM/guide. Finally on the 2nd dive I just ditched him and stayed with another group. Yeah something bad could have happened to him but I got tired of his bs.

This is why I avoid group and DM led dives. I have had the best dives with people who like to look at everything. It helps me to slow down and relax. Best dive I ever had was with a macro photographer. We spent 45 minutes on what was likely a 20ft X 20ft section of reef and I saw more life variation on that dive than I had in others to that point. I got to work on buoyancy, trim, and my buddy skills watching him. I even got to point out things to him that I otherwise would have missed.
Ditching a buddy is a good way to get someone hurt who is not expecting to be left alone. It's one thing to tell them you'd prefer not to dive with them and let them find another buddy. Ditching them? One of the most selfish things that can be done.

 

[Rose Robinson]

I use the term to refer to any other person with whom I have instantly become a buddy with and yes, I am without a doubt their instabuddy. I mean no offense when I use the term, and I take no offense when someone uses it to refer to me.

If you are offended, then by all means do not use it, but by the same token do not assume that those who do use it are using it as a derogatory term.

I was on a LOB a few years ago and paired up with someone who I had never met before, and we became each others "instabuddy". At the end of the trip, there was an awards night, and my buddy and I were (quite tongue in cheek) presented with the "Best Instabuddies Ever" award.

Hoag,

I assumed nothing, did not state an opinion. Finding something to be offensive is a statement not an opinion.

Some mention being paired with an ''insta-buddy'' like they've been handed a death sentence, the highway runs in both directions.

I respect your opinion.

Rose.