Who's your buddy?

[Kestrell]

Well... in the interest of good leadership I'm going to let you work through this one for a bit before I step in and fix it for you.

Hey, I was still working on it.

By the way, how'd you do that?

...and thanks for the help.

 

[Hydrophobic]

I dive with a core group of about 5 people (me included). Two is a husband and wife team. One shows up to about half the dives. The other is my primary buddy.

Between my primary buddy and myself, we take turns on who leads the dive. He will normally lead if we are someplace he has been to and I have not. I will lead if there is more detailed navigation (I'm nearsighted, he is far sighted. Easier for me to read the little numbers on the compass.). If we are night diving, I always follow him. But as a pair, he has three times the dives as me and I will always take his lead and directions. I find I learn much more this way.

When we dive as two buddy teams, the husband (from the other buddy team) usaully leads the dive. He is very prepared and does a great job on researching a site.

For Kestrell: If I was you, I'd hope my wife didn't read that thing about her not being able to "deal with the situation effectively." Of course I'm not you.

 

[bubblelogist]

My husband usually take the lead, especially if navigation is involved, I'M a big zero with the compass

but in general he knows he can count on me if someting happens to him... He saw me intervene with other divers in trouble.

I would suggest perhaps a little simulation, show you have a problem with your gear or something where you can't take care yourself and need help. You will have an idea of her reaction...

 

[SuPrBuGmAn]

When I'm diving with local buddies, I usually get stuck with planning and leading a dive. If anything were to go wrong, I know I can count on my buddies to get me out of the situation - but the general directions are usually decided by myself.

ScubaBoard has introduced me to many more buddies, in which case I've gotten to buddy up more with people who will dive a plan without the need for a "alpha" buddy.

 

[del_mo]

My wife is my buddy. I try to share the leading, but I end up taking over when she doesn't do it my way :1poke:

 

[Kestrell]

For Kestrell: If I was you, I'd hope my wife didn't read that thing about her not being able to "deal with the situation effectively." Of course I'm not you.

No, it is fine. She would agree. She is an excellent diver for her (and my) experience, however, we are both relatively new to diving and I just happen to take to it more naturally than she does. I also almost never panic; which is good too. Besides, while I may currently be leading things under water, above water she and I share the decision-making responsibilities 50-50 in a mature partnership of mutual love and respect (or so she's told me).

I think the problem is that since I pick up diving more readily than she does, she is more likely to defer to me, or look to me to figure some things out for her. Not that she doesn't tell me to bug-off and let her figure things out too, I just sense that she is looking to me first and not trusting her judgement, and honing her skills and instincts the best that she can. You would also have to know what the situation was that I was refering to, which I posted in "Near Misses" a few months ago, to fully appreciate things.

Honestly I have no doubt that we will both become skilled divers. We have been systematically challenging ourselves with our diving, talk and read all we can about diving, and strategically plan future learning (classes and dives). I was just trying to take a look at all aspects of diving and ask questions.

Quite frankly, by pointing out that I was not sure my buddy would have been able to respond to me in an emergency as I responded to her was not in any way meant to imply a failure on her part, but rath just highlighting a gap in our ability as a team. But if there is any failure at all, it lies with the both of us together, and that is how we will solve it; together.

 

[Kestrell]

I would suggest perhaps a little simulation, show you have a problem with your gear or something where you can't take care yourself and need help. You will have an idea of her reaction...

Exactly what I was thinking. Not that I think she would panic. She is very intelligent and level-headed, besides, I've seen her in plenty of crisis situation; she is as cool as a cucumber. I do think however, that simulating some emergency situations more often would be an excellent way for us to learn what to do and what not to do in a real world situation. Especially for her since I am somewhat larger than my wife and what the book says to do may not work for her. It would be much better to figure things out in a controlled situation rather than in an actual emergency.

 

[skeet]

I dive with my mother-in-law often. She has about50 dives now and is developing into a confident and knowledgeable diver. She has always insisted that I lead the way. We plan together and make decisions based on what she sees as her limit and adjust when needed during the dive. She is aware and we do saftey drills on our dives so I know she could help if I needed it.

 

[Kestrell]

Dive with your mother-in-law...

You may be on to something here.

Oh sure, that SpareAir will be all you need for our dive to 120'. If you run out of air though, just hold your breath and kick for the surface.

Actually, I love my mother-in-law, but there are those that don't.

 

[El Orans]

My wife is my buddy. I try to share the leading, but I end up taking over when she doesn't do it my way :1poke:

Been there, done that...