A Diver's Responsibility to his family....

[ppo2_diver]

When you have children who depend on you, your responsibility as a human being must go up. I never thought about this until I had my first daughter. When we took her home from the hospital, I drove 25 mph the entire way home. I've noticed that many of my "less-than" responsible behaviors have changed. I drive slower and more cautiously, etc. I plan my dives with more conservatism, no deep air, etc. I also make sure that I don't dive too much that it limits how much time I get to spend with the kids. But I'm a stay at home dad, so my day job is playing with the kids Monday-Friday. Then dive all weekend. So my kids get to see a lot of me and I get to enjoy their childhood. But when Friday night rolls around, my oldest daughter helps me load up the car for the weekend's diving activities and then says "Go dive Daddy."

 

[carolrose]

Some of you have talked about your responsibilities as a man to provide for your family, and I think that's very honorable--it is all of our responsibility not to create a burden for the ones we love if it's at all avoidable. On the other hand, as a wife of a man I love a lot, I'd be very sad if he died doing something he loved, but I don't think I'd be less sad if he died an old man who had never done anything he wanted to for fear of death or injury. I think his responsibility to me when diving as mine to him is to do as we do in any other situation and act like reasonable adults--have appropriate training for what we are doing, maintain our equipment, have a plan in place in case it all goes to hell, and then stop worrying about it and enjoy living. I don't want to be a perfectly preserved old lady because I've wrapped myself in cotton wool balls and done nothing remotely risky my entire life, and I wouldn't want anyone I love to live that way either.

 

[Teamcasa]

This subject hits close to home. Having just recently losing my mother-in-law and my brother, I was positioned to manage most of the issues that arise, gave me a new perspective. There are two aspects of being a survivor. First we grieve, manage the immediate family concerns and funeral issues. Then there is the estate and all of the legal and financial issues that seem to come out of nowhere.

When I die, I want my family not to worry about anything. I have revised my will and gave my kids a copy. I have a complete and separate set of files outlining all of my assets, accounts including logon ID’s and passwords, stocks, properties and insurance policies. These files are in a fireproof safe. My kids have the combination and passwords.

I feel better knowing if something should happen to me and/or my wife my kids will not have to worry or struggle after the deep diggin’ and sad singing is over.

 

[Rec Diver]

A post on another thread hit me very hard and I just want to ask "the community" if it is just me or....

What do you believe is a diver's responsibility to his (her) family? It seems to me that since we all know that diving is a "high risk" activity, then a diver should have a special responsibility to make sure that:

a. His diving is as safe as it can be; and

b. His "estate" is as squared away as it can be -- down to, and including, appropriate insurance.

A while ago I was in a class (heliox) and the instructor talked about a dive he did where something went badly wrong with his buddy's gear while they were down around 250'. While they were able to get the problem solved, it apparently was a huge wake up call to the buddy -- who just happened to be a new father -- that he was doing something that was truly risky AND that he had responsibilities to his family he hadn't properly considered.

I do NOT want this to be a comment on any one -- but the other post did get me to thinking and I decided to ask the question.

What is a diver's responsibility to his family?

What say y'all?

I wonder; did you have the same thought or feeling when you watched the news about the fatal vehicle crash last night?

 

[DiverLS]

My kids are grown and on their own. They love it that their Mom is not a couch potatoe. I do have assets all of it is in trust for them and they have copies. However, I dive safely, within my limits. Even though they would benefit $$$ if I die diving, they would be devestated to loose me.

And like Teamcasa, they would have to handle all the immediate family concerns and funeral issues. I don't want to foster that on them earlier than it has to be. I am still going to make a complete and separate file of outlining all my assets.

 

[Peter Guy]

I wonder; did you have the same thought or feeling when you watched the news about the fatal vehicle crash last night?

A. Since I refuse to watch TV news, I didn't see the clip about the crash!

B. As others have written, there is risk in everything we do -- period. However, by choosing to dive (and for some of us, choosing to dive in higher risk situations, caves, wrecks, deco, ccr's) we are deliberately choosing to increase the risk from the ordinary to the extra-ordinary. It is this deliberate decision of increased risk that makes me believe we owe a higher obligation to our families than the norm.

To deny that we engage in a higher risk activity by virtue of diving is, I believe, ridiculous.

 

[captain]

Although diving may carry increasd risk of death and is a recreation someone choses what is different about it from the person who choses a high risk occupation such as fireman, law inforcement and one of the highest risk occupations, commercial fishing. Choise is choise, it doesn't mater if you are getting paid for it or do it just for enjoyment. If things go bad and you die the effect on others is no different.

 

[Hank49]

My responsibility is to take my family diving more often.

 

[contender]

When you have children who depend on you, your responsibility as a human being must go up. I never thought about this until I had my first daughter. When we took her home from the hospital, I drove 25 mph the entire way home. I've noticed that many of my "less-than" responsible behaviors have changed. I drive slower and more cautiously, etc. I plan my dives with more conservatism, no deep air, etc. I also make sure that I don't dive too much that it limits how much time I get to spend with the kids. But I'm a stay at home dad, so my day job is playing with the kids Monday-Friday. Then dive all weekend. So my kids get to see a lot of me and I get to enjoy their childhood. But when Friday night rolls around, my oldest daughter helps me load up the car for the weekend's diving activities and then says "Go dive Daddy."

You have it made. Play with the kids all week, dive all weekend. I am extremely envious.

 

[littlewaywelt]

Peter,

I don't think that we have any more or less responsibility to our family as divers as we would if we were participating in any other "high risk" activity such as climbing.

True, but accidents happen. I've been a climber for about 25years and just got my open water cert last year. I will say that once I had kids, the level of objective hazard that I was willing to expose myself to, became drastically lower. I'm just not willing to stick my neck out there as far when others pay the price. To do so, imho is selfish. It's all well and good to say that life should be lived and not boring/sitting on a couch and that not to do what one loves, is stifling, but ultimately, is pushing the envelope worth having your kids grow up without you?

I've found that I have similar attitudes to diving. I have no interest in diving that has a higher danger factor. I'm happy diving at ~75ft in the Caribbean. Not interested in wrecks, caves, drift diving, etc. I recognize those are probably more rewarding and fun, but I just am not willing to go beyond what I deem is a very low level of exposure.


...and for what it's worth, climbing is actually a very safe sport, with a low fatality rate as compared to number of participants. It's just perceived as dangerous. I suspect the same thing is true with diving.