A Diver's Responsibility to his family....

[ArcticDiver]

Thanks for an intelligent thread Peter.

I agree each of us owes our family a good deal. After all, once a person has a family, whether that is two of you or a dozen, the entire family has to be considered in everything. Frankly, I'm a bit sad when I read that some people limit their responsibility to just money. Each of us owes our family far more than mere money.

When I was married we adopted the motto: "Love, Honor, Negotiate". So, we each get to do some high risk things. Others after negotiation we do not. In each case, money doesn't enter the equation at all. It is the potential loss of a member of the family unit and the perceived risk that drives the decision. For example: I get to dive and make my solo backcountry trips but not skydive.

Of course, everyone, regardless of what they do should have their stuff together so injury or death doesn't create a further crisis. Wills, Trusts, Life Insurance, all that should be part of everyone's life, not just divers.

 

[The Dive Bum]

As ArcticDiver said, This is not just about money, nor is it just about dying. We need to consider a life altering injury as well, and I'm not just talking about the divers life being altered, because all of us have love ones that will end up having to deal with how their life will be affected if we came back from a dive injured so bad that we could no longer take care of ourself.

My wife dives as much as I do and is close to becoming an instructor so she understands the love of the sport. But, she also understands that with Tec or Cave diving the risk goes up dramatically. She incourages me to continue as much recreational training as possible but draws the line at cave or tec.

Life is not about just being who you are because that is how other people expect you to be. At some point ask yourself, is this worth my family being without a father or husand. And do you really want someone else rasing your kids if your spouse is young enough consider remarrying?

 

[all4scuba05]

There's a whole lot of love between my kids and myself. My responsibility is that I come back healthy. Not paralyzed, or retarted, or dead. All the insurance money in the world isn't going to make up for the loss of their loving father.
I don't try to be a hero when fighting fires and I don't dive like my family doesn't matter.

 

[1_T_Submariner]

I wonder about this occasionally when I dive with my family. I try not to be the Nagging one but, I end up being that way because I worry about them more than a regular buddy. I guess I feel more responsible for their safety.

When not diving with them I try to minimize the risks that I take personally occasionally it means that I sit out a dive or more than one due to conditions or lack of a good buddy.

Like wearing seat belts when driving and helmets/safety gear when riding ATV's I try to minimize risks.

 

[Tigerman]

So what is the price of a human life? Or how your kids deal with you being gone because you made a poor choice? Hummmmmmmmmmm??????

I think, quite honestly, that a son or daughter will deal with losing their parents better than a parent will deal with losing a son or daughter atleast after a certain age.
This is simply a result of us realizing as we grow older that at one point or anohter, our parents will pass away. Our children however, were not supposed to outlive.

Id also much rather have my dad pass away doing something he love than some stupid "unavoidable" accident..

 

[dive_lover88]

I'm 20, and to this day I still rely on my parents for more than just money. They're the best advice you can get from anyone 99% of the time, because no one cares about kids as much as their parents. I ask that my dad never exceed his training, always dive as he was trained, and seek training from the best. My dad and I have shared so many great memories together diving, I couldn't even fathom not diving due to the risk, so we just do as much as we can to minimize it.

I m with you 100%. I'm also 20 this yr. I feel that my responsibilty to my family would be go and come home safely. They raised me up for 20yrs and i owe to them not to do stupid things that would cause them grief. Fine...i go and meet God when i dive, it would be worst if i get paralyzed or something that would burden them for the rest of my life.

We owe to our family in some ways or another...so always that into consideration if you're gonna do something risky or stupid.

Dive safe
Darren aka dl88

 

[ce4jesus]

We all take risks everyday. Whether these risks are diving or driving, they both come with the baggage of risk.
Stupid is another catagory altogether. I would be stupid to get in my car and do 100mph down the interstate. If I were on a test track, that would be considered fun. I would be stupid if I went on a dive that exceeded my training.
Death - is an untimely event that will one day happen to us all. I don't want to make light of the accident in Florida the other day but how many people going out on a boat expect to be hit the head with a stingray? It's always been my belief that you will die when your time is up. It could be death by a bus, faulty reg, or flying stingray. Live life to its fullest, manage risk, and never let the fear of dying rob you of joy. Your family will also enjoy hanging out with you more during your limited stay on the planet if you don't inadvertantly treat them as a burden. Wills are smart for the ones you leave behind.

 

[SelkieDVM]

I would like to echo Dive Bum's point about permanent disability. A lot of us think in terms of life or death but don't consider situations where we might be left unable to care for ourselves. My brother-in-law was in his fifties when he suffered a massive stroke and spent the next seven years in a nursing home before he purposely (I believe) starved himself to death. Would your insurance pay for something like this? Are you sure? How would you feel if your family had to care for you after such a tragedy?

Not trying to criticize anyone - I just think everyone (divers or not) should take a very close look at their affairs and consider the possibility that s***t happens and it could happen to you. Serious dive accidents do happen to even highly trained and careful divers.

 

[AbyssalPlains]

Ummm.... which is more "high-risk" -diving or driving?

Perceived risk does not always equal actual risk.

Every minute you stay underwater and out of traffic increases your odds of surviving to old age IMHO.

 

[SelkieDVM]

Ummm.... which is more "high-risk" -diving or driving?

Perceived risk does not always equal actual risk.

Every minute you stay underwater and out of traffic increases your odds of surviving to old age IMHO.

I think there are too many variables to accurately answer the question as stated. What kind of diving (or driving for that matter)? How often? But I agree if we average all diving and driving then driving is more dangerous. One thing we need to consider though is how many of us could realistically live our lives without at least some driving. Diving on the other hand, is a voluntarily activity most of the time.

Personally I think everyone should make sure their family will be OK, but those who choose to engage in the riskier forms of diving should take an added measure.