A place with house reef where we could dive by our self ?!

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Please, do tell more... I am very much looking to learn all I can about good (and preferably self guided) diving ... on a budget... especially for when I have the time to do it... in the foreseeable future...

It’s at times seems a little hard to filter through all the resort and greatest luxury offers and arrive at good but budget diving and simple, but clean and affordable accommodations (without compromising on dive site quality)... Any general advice on how to get better at finding such places (anywhere on earth)?

Internet is your best bet. Search through forums (including SB), tripadvisor etc and look for reviews. You might not be able to spot the best one for you directly, but soon you will be able to filter out what doesn't fit your needs.
From the rest just pick whatever looks/feels more attractive to you. Recheck your decision by reading through reviews for the particular place and if you are happy with what you read chances are that you have done a pretty good choice. Also contacting the place directly asking for info usually helps, as the way they reply usually is a strong indication of their business model.

Keep in mind these:
a. Nowadays it is very difficult for bad businesses to survive – although they do exist. Bad reviews travel fast. All you have to do is search a bit to make sure your choice doesn’t have a lot of bad reviews.
b. Don’t be afraid to ask, but if you do so include as much info as possible so that people can help you. For example questions like “what is the best place for diving …” don’t help (what is the best for you might not be the best for me and vice versa). Instead state your requirements (location, type and level of diving, time of the year, expectations, budget etc etc). You will usually get more than enough input to begin with.
c. Some dive shops in each location have become very popular, however always look what else is available especially if your budget is low. It is very common that he most popular shops get very busy (inevitably droping quality and rising prices). At the same time a not so famous shop next door might be able to offer you better service for lower price.
d. It’s very common for people who have been to only one place/shop to advertise it as “the best”. When possible, look for suggestions from people with more experience than that.
Good luck
 
TwoFish on Bunaken have a very nice reef out front, but I don't know what their policy is for unescorted divers. Send them an email.
 

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