Accepting criticisms: "You're gonna die!"

[tursiops]

You seem to want to treat scuba diving as some kind of competitive sport with elite divers and stories of bravery and amazing feats. Get over it. That is an attitude that has killed others and will kill you.

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A ScubaBoard Staff Message...

This was split off of another thread due to being "off topic". While it was indeed off topic, I thought that this sentiment was so important that it needed it's own thread and a thorough discussion. The Chairman...

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[The Chairman]

so when he says I WILL DIE ....that is in the vein of my thread? Wookie you sound so ominous by the way. Are you watching me carefully? Wow next you will say you know where I live lol

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You seem to want to treat scuba diving as some kind of competitive sport with elite divers and stories of bravery and amazing feats. Get over it. That is an attitude that has killed others and will kill you.

This is probably some of the best and most timely advice ever given on this forum and it's to the one individual who seems to need it most. Rather than rail against it, and treat it as a challenge to your testosterone, you should take a deep breath and embrace it. It's not an attack: it's a timely warning. The ocean is a harsh mistress and doesn't suffer fools for very long. You have the chance to avoid being a fool and you should take it. Most who have escaped death don't feel a need to brag about it. They certainly don't see it as being "superhuman" as much as they feel lucky. Lucky that their stupidity, hubris and apparent incompetence didn't kill them. It's embarrassing as hell to get into such situations and they will only confess them to warn others, such as yourself, to keep those feelings of invincibility in check. Indeed, @tursiops sounds like one of those divers who have been there, knows better and doesn't mind telling you what you need to hear rather than to encourage an unsafe attitude. We certainly don't want to read about another clueless diver in the accidents forum.

 

[The Chairman]

Criticisms are everywhere. Some are benign with little or no impact on our reality. Others are heartfelt in hopes to save someone from themselves. How you respond to them says a lot about you. Are you defensive, lashing out at those who are trying to help? Or are you a bit more circumspect, listening to what they say and trying to improve your game? It's all on you. Get better or get mad? The two posts preceding this one were genuine attempts to help, yet they were rejected as "attacks". Where they over the top and too harsh? How would you respond to them?

 

[lowviz]

Missed the OP's thread or just ignored it. Care to clue the rest of us in and link back to it? I need to do my required reading before I respond.

Anyway, I learn from both the living and the dead. So you are implying that you have one on the fence? OK, I'm subscribed to this thread...

 

[The Chairman]

Missed the OP's thread or just ignored it.

It's not important. I'm thinking that we need to have a general discussion about handling criticisms.

 

[lowviz]

Oh. You mean like a 'kinder and gentler' place? (no sarcasm)

 

[The Chairman]

Oh. You mean like a 'kinder and gentler' place? (no sarcasm)

I don't see either of the first two posts in this thread as being overly aggressive or unkind. There was no name calling and no snark. Conversing with the first, I know for certain that the criticism was not to demean, but to help.

I know I've been corrected on SB, and I'm grateful for that. It's not who is right, but what is right that's most important.

Thx, @Marie13 . I totally ignored that thread due to the title. BRB, got some reading to do...

It's been sanitized many times over. After all, it's the basic section where staying on topic is important.

 

[lowviz]

OK, just got a couple of PMs from friends who are fast-tracking me with respect to this issue. I'll do my homework reading a couple of threads and respond if I think that I have anything useful to add.

Please ignore this blip, press on...

 

[Jay]

It's not important. I'm thinking that we need to have a general discussion about handling criticisms.

Part of it is how the criticism is delivered. Humour goes a long way.

Reminds me of a recent dive trip and we were heading up a propellor shaft on a wreck. I was the least experienced (and qualified) diver out of the 4 of us and was in 2nd place. After the dive I asked the third diver how my finning technique was. She paused and smiled, and I said "work in progress then" with a smile.

So back in the pool I practised my 'micro-frog' and how slow I could go.

Re the recipient's attitude: I always regard myself as learning most things I do, and even by normal standards I might be semi-pro / am-pro / elite / etc ... my head discards those labels.

Can't let a good car analogy escape ...and I've met drivers like this too (link) Before getting on the track I was told how much more power his car had versus mine ... - you can guess the result.

 

[lowviz]

one can deliver an idea for consideration and potential acceptance. TS&M's posts in contentious threads were a model of this in years past. ...//...

She was amazing. Funny how much unlike she is to one of my 'idols', yet how much they had in common.