Bad buddies...

[rabe]

Ok, everyone has been there: they match you with a buddy that looks fine on the boat, but when down there he/she behaves really bad and makes your dive terrible.
What do you do?

Here 2 examples:
Example 1) I need a buddy and they pair me with a couple (husband and wife). We jump in the water and the husband takes off. We run after him and I tell him to slow down. It's already time to go back because she is almost OOA because of the chase underwater. He take off again (vis in not good) an he disappear. With the wife we look for him and we cannot find, we ascent, and still nothing. She's scarred and in distress, I'm worried. We swim back to the boat (I also have to haul her). We finally reach the boat and the husband is already on the boat. I gently ask "What the **** happened??!!", he replies they he didn't even notice that we have separated...

Example 2) This happened last Saturday. Technical dive at -35 meters in very strong current and poor vis. I need a buddy and they match me with a dude that I kind of know and he seems ok. We go down at -35, frolic a little bit, and we start to ascend a little bit to avoid deco. I sign him to ascend but he stays on the bottom. I sign again but he doesn't care. At this point I have 1 minute left before deco, and I have to ascent. I do that and he's not following me (don't ask me what the hell he was doing or what computer he has). At this point my computer is telling me to do a safety stop at 15 m for minutes, so I ascent at -15 and the dude is gone. Ascent, do my last SS for 5 minutes and I emerge. The boat is about 500 meters far away, the current is terrible, big waves and -just because it wasn't harsh enough- a thunderstorm arrives and it start to pour like crazy (at that point the boat was barely visible). I don't panic, I inflate my safety sausage and I start my 30 minutes swim back against the strongest current ever hoping that my compass is not failing me and I'm going where I saw the boat the last time (I am also in the middle of the ocean and no coast or other landmark are visible). I finally get back to the boat. I find my buddy there, having the time of his life. I keep my calm and I tell him that it wasn't good what happened, but is not really getting the message...
...and is not finished here.
After this episode, we move to another spot: a wonderful enclosed tropical reef (-12 m max dept) where we can just go down have a long dive and chill out. I go down again with this dude (I don't have any choice). Everything is ok and fine, we're enjoying the dive and the spot is really wonderful. I call him to show him a turtle that was hiding in a nice spot, he comes after me and I accidentally touch him with my fin. He grabs my fins and starts to twisted it until it gets off from my feet. So I need to chase my fin and put it back. Anyway, we go back on the boat and I ask him (trying to be calm) what the hell he was trying to do, and he's answer is "I was just messing with you..."...


Now, is it me or sometimes a punch in the throat is the only solution (and I am quiet and peaceful)?
A bad buddy can be the difference between a wonderful dive and a horrible one, including the fact that can be potentially really dangerous.
Any similar cases?

 

[The Chairman]

First off, I never dive with an insta-buddy and expect to arrive at the ladder with them. It's not me: it's them. If they swim off and leave me, then it's all on them. I will not try and keep up, EVER.

Secondly, I would never ever do a tech dive with someone I had not had several non-tech dives with. If they abandoned me in the non-tech dive, then I would not expect them to stay with me on the tech dive.

 

[rabe]

Well, sometimes -often- I don't have any buddy, and I get what I get.
90% of the times is totally fine. Is the remaining 10% that worries me.

 

[CT-Rich]

I had a guy disappear 3/4of the way through the dive. He had been hanging on my marker instead of using his BCD. I waited on the surface for him to show up long enough for me to get seasick and feed the fishes. Just when I was about to call the alarm and I saw him exiting the water at the wrong exit point. Never said a word, just stowed his gear and drove off even before I got out of the water.

Every solo diver has a story about why they solo.

 

[flyboy08]

I dive with my wife...till death do us part

 

[GreggS]

I dive with my wife...till death do us part

My wife and I dive together as well. I do have a couple of other friends I can dive with if she can't go, but that is rare.

 

[gypsyjim]

I dive with my wife...till death do us part

Is that a threat?

 

[GreggS]

Is that a threat?

Or a plan?

 

[Steve_C]

Instabuddies come in flavors. If they have any sort of diving experience and go charging off, I will not chase them like the chairman says. They have thumbed the buddy system.

An exception is if I am buddying with a very new diver. More than once it has been their first ocean dive. In this case I still do not go chasing them but do make a much more concerted effort to stay in reasonably close contact and to keep an eye on them. But that is usually not an issue because I tend to move slow and they are usually doing their best remora imitation. Point out a couple critters and they want to see what I find next.

For green instabuddies (green in the sense of dive experience) I prefer females. On average they tend to have better sac rates and follow the dive plan better. Everybody is different but that has been my experience.

 

[Caveeagle]

just out of curiosity. in these "insta-buddy" horror stories.. How often do most people talk through the dive plan? And clearly identify a lead diver and a following diver?

I have only found myself in a purely "insta-buddy" situation twice.

The first time, the guy barely spoke English and I had to chase him down a couple times.

The second time, I was much more experienced and planned to let the "buddy" lead the dive. I am a pretty good tail so there was not much chance of him getting away from me. And I can enjoy a dive and still be able to keep half an eye on the buddy.

Its not unusual for me to pick up a new dive buddy, but we plan things out and talk through the plan. ALWAYS.
..... A buddy that blew the plan and either took off, or failed to maintain the follow, would not ever get a second dive with me.