Just got this from a diver-buddy & thought y'all would appreciate it...
Next time you have a bad day at work...think of this guy:
> Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He
> performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail
> he sent to his sister. She then sent it to "The X", 103.2 on your FM dial
> in Ft Wayne IN, who was sponsoring a "worst job experience" contest.
> Needless to say, she won.
>
> Hi Sue,
> Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had bad
> day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I
> thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so
> bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, first must bore
> you with a few technicalities of my job.
>
> As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the
> office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what
> we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water
> heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It
> heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver
> through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds
like
> a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints. What
I
> do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff
> it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with warm water.
> It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
>
> Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch.
> So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse.
>
> Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from
my
> back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The
> hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit.
Now
> since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to
it.
> However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I scratched what
I
> thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into my butt. I
> informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His
> instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with 5 other
> divers, were all laughing hysterically.
>
> Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make 3 agonizing
> in-water decompression stops totaling 35 minutes before I could reach the
> surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the
> surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of
the
> water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me
a
> tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the
> chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for 2 days
because
> my butthole was swollen shut.
>
> So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse
> it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.
>
> D.J. Kevin Moore
> Supervisor,
> Fuel Channel Thermalhydraulics Branch
Somedays you should just stay in bed...
D.S.D.
Next time you have a bad day at work...think of this guy:
> Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He
> performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail
> he sent to his sister. She then sent it to "The X", 103.2 on your FM dial
> in Ft Wayne IN, who was sponsoring a "worst job experience" contest.
> Needless to say, she won.
>
> Hi Sue,
> Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had bad
> day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I
> thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so
> bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, first must bore
> you with a few technicalities of my job.
>
> As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the
> office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what
> we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water
> heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It
> heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver
> through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds
like
> a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints. What
I
> do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff
> it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with warm water.
> It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
>
> Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch.
> So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse.
>
> Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from
my
> back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The
> hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit.
Now
> since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to
it.
> However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I scratched what
I
> thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into my butt. I
> informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His
> instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with 5 other
> divers, were all laughing hysterically.
>
> Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make 3 agonizing
> in-water decompression stops totaling 35 minutes before I could reach the
> surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the
> surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of
the
> water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me
a
> tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the
> chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for 2 days
because
> my butthole was swollen shut.
>
> So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse
> it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.
>
> D.J. Kevin Moore
> Supervisor,
> Fuel Channel Thermalhydraulics Branch
Somedays you should just stay in bed...
D.S.D.
