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Death of my Son, I need some help

Discussion in 'Passings' started by Superlyte27, Jan 31, 2019.

  1. solo gato

    solo gato Angel Fish

    # of Dives: 2,500 - 4,999
    Location: there
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    I lost the oldest boy July 23rd 2015, He had a motorcycle accident on the 22nd and passed away the next morning, as a life long motorcyclist myself It was all the worse because of guilt. as The Chairman said
    and that has been true for me. and those "fond memories" together are very painful for me. I cant explain it, but you slowly get back to living day to day, week to week.
     
  2. Superlyte27

    Superlyte27 Cave Instructor

    # of Dives: 5,000 - ∞
    Location: Florida
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    Thanks everyone. I really appreciate it. I meet with a good counselor soon.
     
  3. JohnnyC

    JohnnyC Divemaster

    # of Dives: 1,000 - 2,499
    Location: United States
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    Best of luck. Trust in the process and give it a chance. It WILL be frustrating at times.
     
    shoredivr and chillyinCanada like this.
  4. bowlofpetunias

    bowlofpetunias Oh no, not again! Staff Member

    # of Dives: 500 - 999
    Location: Sydney Australia
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    That is good news. We may want to do our best for people we care about online but nothing can match the services of a competent and caring Qualified professional in the real world. We are here for you to vent if you need it but while is useful for short term stress relief the real help will come from a good counselor. All the best to you... :flowers:
     
  5. happy-diver

    happy-diver Skindiver Just feelin it ScubaBoard Sponsor

    # of Dives: 100 - 199
    Location: same ocean as you
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    are you discussing with your wife marriage reinforcement activities
     
    chillyinCanada and RayfromTX like this.
  6. Superlyte27

    Superlyte27 Cave Instructor

    # of Dives: 5,000 - ∞
    Location: Florida
    3,632
    2,632
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    Nope
     
  7. Jim Lapenta

    Jim Lapenta Dive Shop

    # of Dives: 500 - 999
    Location: Canonsburg, Pa
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    I've had more than my share of deaths of loved ones. The latest was my dad the day after Thanksgiving 3 years ago. Working on my Black Friday sales when the phone rang and a doctor from the VA hospital was on the other line. My wife died in 2010 on January 7th. Honestly, it doesn't bet better so much as it gets "different." You go through all the stages of grief. Guilt, anger, blame, and eventually something that seems to be called acceptance. But some of it you never really accept.
    Much of that is because of the bullcrap from religious people that say "it was part of some invisible man in the sky's plan." Really? The way they went was part of some plan?
    Well, whoever planned that was a real prick.
    It's easier to deal with those who told me "S#*T happens" and "people die and there's nothing you can do about it."
    To find out the way you did is horrible. It's how I find out my mother was murdered by a drunk driver when I was 17.
    When my wife passed there was advance knowledge so there was time to prepare as best as possible. I was in the hospital room with her for the 4 days she was in a coma before she went. That was an example of grief.
    My mother? No. No time to prepare. That was pure rage and PTSD that I mistakenly didn't deal with for years.
    In the 70's you didn't have as many resources now who are professionally trained. You were told to man up and move on.

    Peter, I am glad to hear you are seeing a therapist. I sincerely hope it is someone specifically trained in trauma/PTSD therapy. I would, based on my own experiences, consider this more than having to deal with the grief of losing a loved one. This was a trauma to you and your wife. An injury that needs to be treated by someone that knows how to see it as that.
     
  8. Superlyte27

    Superlyte27 Cave Instructor

    # of Dives: 5,000 - ∞
    Location: Florida
    3,632
    2,632
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    My brother has three masters degrees in therapy. His job is counseling combat wounded veterans with PTSD and worse. The guy he recommended seems to be the best for my issues at least on paper. I'll touch base after I've met with him.
     
    shoredivr, Gdog, FezUSA and 7 others like this.
  9. Superlyte27

    Superlyte27 Cave Instructor

    # of Dives: 5,000 - ∞
    Location: Florida
    3,632
    2,632
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    My wife just read this and said, "didn't we have some marriage reinforcement activities last night?" Lol
     
  10. happy-diver

    happy-diver Skindiver Just feelin it ScubaBoard Sponsor

    # of Dives: 100 - 199
    Location: same ocean as you
    1,133
    674
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    You're on the right road man
     
    divad likes this.

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