DIVE DRY WITH DR. BILL #825: YOU CAN CALL ME...

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drbill

The Lorax for the Kelp Forest
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DIVE DRY WITH DR. BILL #825: YOU CAN CALL ME...

Hi, Stereolepis gigas here. Dr. Bill has kindly allowed me to write a guest column this week. I wanted to correct all you Homo sapiens on a fact of great importance to me and my friends. I hope it will cast aside previous assumptions made by your marine biologists and SCUBA divers because it is very important to yours truly!

For more than a century you have called my friends and me various names that just aren't correct. Back when you were nearly fishing us to extinction, you called us black sea bass. Well, we're not really. Since SCUBA diving had not yet been invented, most humans only saw our dead carcasses as we were being weighed in. Yes, we looked black. Just in case you didn't know, dead humans also turn dark in color.

To add insult to injury, black sea bass was a name given to a totally unrelated species in the Atlantic Ocean. I'm referring to Centropristis striata. They can rightfully be called sea bass as they are in the fish family Serranidae. We aren't. The real black sea bass has issues with its sexual identity. It begins life as a girl but later changes into a boy. We are secure in our gender identity. But we do share one common thing... we have both been over-fished by you humans over the years.

Then you decided to call us giant black sea bass. Okay, that does distinguish us from the Atlantic species. We are MUCH larger than they are. However if you really know us like Dr. Bill does, we are not all black. We can be silver, counter-shaded and polka dotted in addition to black. Of course black lives DO matter, but we can also change our coloration... often just to confuse you humans.

Some of you realized this and began calling us giant sea bass. Yes, we pride ourselves on our size. No Jenny Craig or keto diets for us. Big is beautiful! That's not our issue with you people. We take great pride in our family and want to be recognized for who we are. True sea bass are in the family Serranidae. At one time your marine biologists thought we were too. But we aren't. Your mistake, not ours. We knew who we were all along!

As your species' knowledge of us grew, some of you realized earlier biologists were wrong. Molecular biologists deduced that we were in a different group, the Polyprionidae or wreckfish family. We may look like big groupers and other sea bass due to our size, but that's judging a book by its cover. Deep down in our genes we are not.

So I'd like to ask you humans to call us what we really are... As Dr. Bill says, pretty large polka-dotted wreckfish. We're still scientifically known as Stereolepis gigas but we don't swim around calling ourselves that. We prefer common names just like many humans. Yes, we may not always be polka dotted, but we generally prefer that dress code. We hope you will adopt our new common name. If you don't, we might get real angry and spew some fire!

Oh, we're back in the Casino Point dive park. If you happen to encounter one of us, we hope you will slowly approach us and say hi. We're friendly as long as you don't rush over and touch us. Be a bit more respectful. We wouldn't do that to you! And if you really get to know us, you can use the names we call one another... Mary, Ted, Sylvia and Greg.

© 2019 Dr. Bill Bushing. For the entire archived set of over 800 "Dive Dry" columns, visit my website Star Thrower Educational Multimedia (S.T.E.M.) Home Page

Image caption: Head-on shot of the author and polka-dotted wreckfish; one giving YOU the eye and an angry wreckfish shooting flame when a diver called him a sea bass.

DDDB 825 wreckfish sm.jpg
 
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