Funniest Diving quotes you have heard

[Frosty]

I overheard one commercial diver saying to another:
"Yeah the sea is only salt for the first ten meters so once you get below that its fresh so you can take you reg out and have a drink if you get thirsty"
And later that day:
Diver 1 - "hey I tried to drink at 12 meters and it tasted salty you *****"
Diver 2 - "Yeah it was a bit rough yesterday the salt and fresh water must have gotten mixed up a bit next time go a bit deeper before you try to take a drink in case the sea gets churned up again"
Diver 1 - "Ah ok that must be it thanks"

UM ER YASEE --there are places where thats actually true
yea I know-spoil the joke --sorry

 

[BHB ScubaTroll]

"So what, I was at 240' and didn't feel narced heading down... If you hadn't been a pussy, we would made it to 265 you d*ck..."

This is an actual quote from someone I grabbed a fin at 255' when our plan was 165'... I never dived with this instructor again....

 

[nomro]

"The greener the cleaner" related to spit defogging of the mask.

 

[aquaregia]

DM: "When was your last dive?"
Diver 1: "8 years ago"
Diver 2: "8 years ago, when I got certified"
Diver 3: "25 years ago"
Me: "Last Thursday?"

Dive went as expected.

 

[turnerjd]

This is an exceptional thread!

I have just read all through it. I didn't see the classic:

Q. How do you make a small fortune diving?
A. start with a large one.

Jon

 

[~ dry]

This is an exceptional thread!
I have just read all through it. I didn't see the classic:
Q. How do you make a small fortune diving?
A. start with a large one.
Jon

Q. What's the difference between a large pizza and a scuba instructor?









A. A large pizza can feed a family of four.

 

[blinkswiler]

BRWAF
Burger with relish and fries
or
Bruce Willis ruins all films.

 

[Culcuhain]

BRWAF
Burger with relish and fries
or
Bruce Willis ruins all films.

Me and the wife added an ingredient....
Burgers: BCD
With: Weights
Relish: Releases
And: Air
Cheese: Camera
Fries: Final

 

[flyindiver75]

When packing up dive gear at the end of the dive day I witnessed a diver holding her very wet Gear bag and computer and a very puzzled look on her face. When asked if something was wrong... "I don't know where to put my computer. If I put it in my bag it will get wet." Sometimes it is just better to walk away.

 

[flyindiver75]

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