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Funniest Diving quotes you have heard

Discussion in 'Basic Scuba Discussions' started by idratherbedivin, Apr 8, 2008.

  1. Laurie S.

    Laurie S. Assistant Instructor

    # of Dives: 500 - 999
    Location: Tucson, Arizona and San Carlos, Mexico
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    My boyfriend told me a story on himself. He's an instructor and was teaching the open water course. He demonstrated a giant stride off the boat and then immediately popped to the surface. Without missing a beat, he told his students, and that's why you always wear weights when you dive. He had to climb back on board to get the weights for his bc.
     
    KD8NPB likes this.
  2. Lizard Leg

    Lizard Leg Manta Ray

    # of Dives: 200 - 499
    Location: Louisiana
    512
    129
    43
    Heading back into the dock on a charter in the Keys - typical heading back into dock speech "All right, we need everyone to sit on a yellow cushion and please keep all hands and feet inside the boat until the engine shuts off. I'm sure everyone wants to make it back with all of their arms and ... legs.... intact...." as he turned beet red and the boat erupted in laughter.

    I was sitting on the deck right next to him swapping out my dive leg for my walking leg prosthetic... :)
     
    SeaHorse81, TUTs_mama, ktkt and 5 others like this.
  3. bowlofpetunias

    bowlofpetunias Oh no, not again! Staff Member ScubaBoard Supporter

    # of Dives: 500 - 999
    Location: Sydney Australia
    12,679
    6,120
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    We had just completed a dive at a local tide effected site. To get to the entry you have to walk quite a distance over barnacle and oyster covered rocks. The shallows where you gear up has a lot of Sea Urchins on the bottom.

    I overheard this exchange between two divers approaching us heading towards the water.

    Diver A in Full Gear "Is that all you are wearing?"

    Diver B (wearing only Speedos and his BCD, carrying full foot fins) "Yeah.. impressive HUH?"

    Diver A spots us approaching dripping water and asks "Did you just do a dive? Do you know where the entry point is?" :doh:
     
  4. billt4sf

    billt4sf Loggerhead Turtle

    # of Dives: 500 - 999
    Location: Fayetteville GA, Wash DC, NY, Toronto, SF
    2,547
    1,124
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    That actually made me LOL !!

    ---------- Post added January 22nd, 2013 at 06:32 PM ----------

    A few times I have heard people say: "Oh, I wouldn't want to go diving or swimming in the ocean ...ewwww...there might be things living down there!"
     
  5. mstevens

    mstevens Toadfish. Splendid is implied but not guaranteed.

    2,592
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    I'm hoping with great desperation that someone will post:

    an anecdote about only needing to swim faster than ones buddy rather than faster than an attacking shark

    an anecdote about stabbing ones buddy in case of possible shark attack

    an anecdote about multiple size large fins all being mistaken for left fins due to an L marking​

    because this thread sure does need more of those. Does nobody read threads before posting any more?
     
    SuperChuk, slimrn, button and 2 others like this.
  6. tplyons

    tplyons Manta Ray

    # of Dives: 100 - 199
    Location: East Stroudsburg, PA
    599
    162
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    During our confined water dives, we were doing our giant strides. Instructor told us "one hand on your mask, the other on your dangly bits"

    To this day, SPG's are still dangly bits to us.
     
    chillyinCanada likes this.
  7. Searcaigh

    Searcaigh Chromodoris gordonii Staff Member ScubaBoard Supporter

    # of Dives: 1,000 - 2,499
    Location: Dubai, UAE
    5,796
    4,557
    113
    When I was doing my DM course, the instructor was demonstrating retrieval of a lost second stage.

    Instructor demonstrating: breathe in, take regulator out of your mouth and throw it away, then lean over to the right and with your right arm sweep forward to locate it and retrieve it.

    One of the students (a very good looking Irish nurse who worked at the hospital where I was also employed) commented: But why would we be wanting to through away our regulator underwater?
     
  8. BCSGratefulDiver

    BCSGratefulDiver Mental toss flycoon ScubaBoard Supporter

    # of Dives: 2,500 - 4,999
    Location: On the Fun Side of Trump's Wall
    76,110
    62,027
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    I taught a drysuit class this week-end ... a lovely couple from eastern Washington who wanted to get into doing more local diving and bought themselves drysuits for Christmas.

    After the class we were debriefing the dives and the husband said his biggest fear was that his wife wouldn't like it and would decide to stick to warm water diving.

    Her response ... "After spending over a thousand dollars on a new outfit? Not a chance."

    ... Bob (Grateful Diver)
     
    odblnt, bygolly, Gill and 1 other person like this.
  9. cephasiii

    cephasiii Instructor, Scuba

    # of Dives: 200 - 499
    Location: Biloxi, Mississippi
    127
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    This thread has a lot of posts. I for one did not read every post.
     
  10. Tool Belt

    Tool Belt Barracuda

    # of Dives: 200 - 499
    Location: Central Wisconsin
    384
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    Met a woman that conquers her fear of diving by taking a Xanax before each dive.
     
    cephasiii likes this.

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