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Funniest Diving quotes you have heard

Discussion in 'Basic Scuba Discussions' started by idratherbedivin, Apr 8, 2008.

  1. 261311

    261311 Barracuda

    # of Dives: 0 - 24
    Location: Barrie, ON: CAN
    264
    51
    0
    Does he even know what Scuba involves for stresses on the body? I believe the doctor is there to investigate if you're bottom line mentally ready and physically fit (especially related to cardio and respiratory), not treat you like an 89 year old cancer patient. New doc dude.
     
  2. philba

    philba Angel Fish

    # of Dives: 0 - 24
    Location: United States
    27
    6
    0
    No, I was completely surprised when he said something that indicated he was concerned about the effect of pressure on the heart - he seemed to think that inside the heart would be at a lower pressure than outside it. I explained the concept of ambient pressure to him but don't think it took. Yes, I'm looking for a new doctor, especially one that will outlive me.
     
  3. kimbalabala

    kimbalabala Barracuda

    # of Dives: 200 - 499
    Location: St Louis
    432
    166
    43
    I've only made it through page #6 of posts and am having fun laughing out loud - thanks for resurrecting this one! Here's my funny - after finishing a day of diving Bull Shoals Lake (Arkansas - cold water) some fishermen asked us what we saw down there. My husband didn't miss a beat and said "the fish you didn't catch"! :wink:
     
    bowlofpetunias likes this.
  4. miked

    miked Loggerhead Turtle

    # of Dives: 500 - 999
    Location: Park Ridge NJ
    1,474
    283
    83
    I have another (3 yrs after my last post in this thread):
    While on a dive boat,in the Atlantic Ocean, as we neared the site, there was a woman working the buttons on her computer, her head was down, eyes focused intensely on the computer screen.
    She looked up, then around, then at me, when she said "excuse me, do you know what altitude we are at?"
    Not wishing to be rude, I looked over the side of the boat, at the surface, and said "about 4, 4 and a half feet".
    She was not pleased with my answer......... ?????
     
  5. dumpsterDiver

    dumpsterDiver Banned

    # of Dives: 2,500 - 4,999
    Location:
    9,003
    4,669
    113
    My buddy tells a story from several years ago. He bought a dive computer at a pawn shop and he thought he understood how to operate it. He got out on the water and was having trouble; so he called out on the radio and a few of his commercial buddies responded and were trying to help him set the mix. He was continuing to have trouble working through the screens ..until one of his buddy's just blurts out on the radio "come on Bill! It only has ONE button!"" He said he was too embarassed to ask any more questions....
     
  6. TUTs_mama

    TUTs_mama Angel Fish

    # of Dives: I'm a Fish!
    Location: Sacramento, CA
    19
    8
    0
    My younger sister is interested in getting certified to SCUBA dive. She was born a preemie and had to be intubated, which resulted her having diminshed lung capacity. She has estimated 80% lung capactity. My mother tells me she can not SCUBA dive because my sister has only 80% lung capacity and can not breathe 100% oxygen, no joke....


    Captain of a dive boat in HI had the best speech I had ever heard, including about how finnicky his toilet is. His toliet speech goes something like: the head is a finnicky eater, it only eats two thing. Number one and number two. And ladies, no strings, no wings.

    Everytime it cracked us up.....
     
  7. dadediver

    dadediver Solo Diver

    # of Dives: 500 - 999
    Location: Dade county Fla./
    139
    33
    28
    If you didnt inhale all the way in, you would had been okay...........
     
    razorbackdiver and TUTs_mama like this.
  8. Red13

    Red13 Garibaldi

    # of Dives: 200 - 499
    Location: Hawaii
    1
    0
    0
    Was at a resort in Hawaii talking to the tours and activities guy asking about scuba diving. To Which I asked about depth. His response: you get to go 45 feet sometimes!
    Went to a lds and quickly found deeper dives.
     
  9. bowlofpetunias

    bowlofpetunias Oh no, not again! Staff Member ScubaBoard Supporter

    # of Dives: 500 - 999
    Location: Sydney Australia
    12,683
    6,135
    113
    Funny but SCAREY! I assisted a Diver who had been pulled out of the water by his buddy, barely conscious when I got to him. Got him on 100% O2 and questioned his buddy. They got in.. down into the channel 8M(26') patient started floundering and headed to the surface... dive time about 5 minutes. Here is the funny sad quote...
    Paramedic "It is not dive related because he wasn't under water for longer than 10 minutes!"
     
  10. ScubaSteve

    ScubaSteve Wow.....what a DB

    # of Dives: 200 - 499
    Location: Acton, Ontario
    23,370
    4,415
    113


    :headscratch:
     

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