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I need a reality check

Discussion in 'Near Misses and Lessons Learned' started by raviepoo, May 30, 2014.

  1. Arwen

    Arwen Angel Fish

    # of Dives: 25 - 49
    Location: Lithuania
    I can't even imagine my spouse violating my safety and I would never do that too. First thing that came to my mind, that he was inexperienced and in panick, but all the signal showing and refusing to surface weaken my theory.
    It is wise to find another dive buddy until he becomes a safer diver.
    And it is also wise to look at your relationship and see if he is not stealing your freedom and other things in your life, not just your weights.
    Only you yourself can do this reality check.
  2. Diver0001

    Diver0001 Instructor, Scuba

    Raviepoo dropped out of this thread. I'm curious what happened.

  3. SeaHorse81

    SeaHorse81 Solo Diver

    # of Dives: 200 - 499
    Location: PA
    I noticed that, too. There's no way of knowing, but the most likely scenarios are negative ones.
  4. openmindOW

    openmindOW HSA Instructor

    I am a lawyer. I've had to deal with deal with divorcing spouses. I

    Reality check: the hubby here is a bad diver diver or a bad husband or both.

    I have never heard of anyone taking someone else's weight without asking.

    Hubby needs some help in wighting. A refresher would help him.

    As for grounds of divorce, all American states have adopted No-Fault divorce.
  5. CamC

    CamC Barracuda

    # of Dives: 100 - 199
    Location: Isle of Man
    Based on no evidence whatsoever I would speculate that she beat her husband to death with a pair of split fins and is currently on remand awaiting trial. Or, possibly, she was eaten by sharks.
    shoredivr and finnks like this.
  6. Scott

    Scott Tech Instructor

    # of Dives: 2,500 - 4,999
    Location: Salt Lake City, Utah
    Not likely or Dandy Don would have posted a thread about it in A&I. :wink:

    I suspect Raviepoo has had sinus issues every time dear hubby wants to go diving and has sent him off with another buddy or solo.
    Raviepoo in the mean time has found a competent buddy and while sweet hubby is at work she is off diving and having a great time.
    shoredivr and openmindOW like this.
  7. crabbyfiddler

    crabbyfiddler Regular of the Pub

    # of Dives: 200 - 499
    Location: Georgia
    OR, and more likely, he read her post here, became incensed and blew up at her. She is now afraid to post more on this thread and is laying low until he cools off.

    You have to have a high degree of trust in your spouse and your dive buddy. Just saying.
  8. drbill

    drbill The Lorax for the Kelp Forest Scuba Legend

    # of Dives: 2,500 - 4,999
    Location: Santa Catalina Island, CA
    Grounds for divorce!
  9. Stoo

    Stoo NAUI Instructor

    # of Dives: 5,000 - ∞
    Location: Freelton & Tobermory, Ontario, Canada
    ... and consider changing the beneficiary. Maybe she has "plans" for you!!!

    Goofing off when diving happens and as long as both parties are enjoying it, it can be great fun. We used to joke about our "full contact" deco stops with a certain gang. Constant harassment on the line... (and these were required stops, not safety stops). Most would consider these activities stupid and dangerous. We considered them fun... and skill building. I mean really... do you REALLY need a mask when you're hanging on a line? I recall diving with a good buddy and also two people we had met the night before. It was a shallow little dive... 40' maybe... and we spent half the dive pulling each others masks off, shutting off air etc. It was all good fun... and good practice for clearing masks, valve drills etc. We would NEVER have done this to people we hadn't logged 100s of dives with... The other two thought we were nuts...

    I can't help but think that you and your spouse don't see eye to eye about diving, and based on your comment about yelling at here, possibly other things. Clearly you need to have a serious chat with her about this sort of stuff, and if she doesn't respect your desires, then stop diving with her.

    And consider redecorating the dog-house because my sense is that there are issues that are "deeper" than diving issues in your marriage.
  10. Wojo

    Wojo Nassau Grouper

    # of Dives: 50 - 99
    Location: Ocqueoc, Michigan
    The clear disregard for safety aside, I am completely stunned by the lack of respect his actions show for you. If I were to suffer a mental lapse sufficient enough that I'd pull anything like this on my wife, I should/would expect the exact same reaction your husband received. I shouldn't expect her to be calm. I shouldn't expect her to be quiet in voicing her displeasure. I should expect a thorough butt chewing. I should also not be surprised when she no longer wants to dive with me.

    From this happily married guy's perspective, your response was reasonable to the situation.

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