OK - thanks everyone for all the very usefull replies, I really appreciate it.
First the facts - just the facts -
I'm abour 5'7 1/2" and weigh just under 100kg (on my way down to 80kg).
I have my own mask, snorkel, wetsuit, fins, booties and gloves. The fins are Oceanic Vortex V16 split fins. These fins (associated with my tendancy to over kick in a keeness to do everyting well), may have caused a few little issues early on but I'm pretty sure that's a thing of the past. Still if people think I should use a differemt type of fin, please let me know.
The dive shop owner really wanted to get me into a size 5 wetsuit but all I could squeeze into was a size 6 (5mm), This means that the legs are slightly too long which results in an amount of "bunching" at the waist.
I'm not sure of the BCD type or model or the tank specifications (the tank seemed large, single band, and had about 210 bar in it.) The BCD was of size XL but didn't feel too large.
I ended up with 24lb of weight which started on a weigth belt but I ended up having 3lb moved into each BC pocket. This weighty belt plus my lack of a proper waist caused an annoyng problem on one shore dive where the belt slipped down during the surface swim out. This was a major annoyance but no show stopper.
The two shore dives on Saturday were in salt water about 15C but I also had identical stability issues in the indoor swimming pool. Visibility on the shore dives was about 3 metres, but less than that after we'd all been messing up the sand.
I was wearing gloves but had decided not to wear a hood or vest and I certainly didn't get cold at all.
At the deeper depths I felt that I was almost thinking myself up and down over rocks but we didn't do any skills at this depth so I'm not sure if my stability was ok there or not. All I know was that in shallow water, it sucked.
During both the confined water and open water dives the instructors/divemasters did tinker with my gear setup and weights, but I'm not sure whether this has much effect or not. They also talked to me about what I was doing wrong but were convinced (and I still believe them) that all I had to do was relax a little and I would have achieved adequite stability.
However it's bit like the ckicken and the egg and I failed to work out how to relax enough. I don't mind hitting my head against a brick wall for a time, but eventually you have to decide when the smart move is to stop. Only I can make that call and I made it early Sunday morning. Unfortunately I missed out on the boat dive which probavly would have been a great dive and at a reasonable depth, but oh well, it'll still be there next time.
It would be easy to blame gear setup/trim etc for all my problems but I am keen to learn how to compensate for bad gear/setup rather than just avoid it. I'd hate to miss a good dive opportunity due to not feeling comfortable diving some less than wonderful rental gear.
Still, having to use an XL BCD and carriying 24 lbs of weight is just asking for gear issues and that's why I'm going to loose 20kg, fit into the next smaller size BCD, carry less weight and fit better into a nice wetsuit. I'm also quite determined that I want to get super comfortable with handling my gear (both on the surface and at depth) and show that I can remain somewhat stable in the shallows before redoing the course.
This way I'll get to do the dives that I have planned and they'll be safe and enjoyable.