Need some good scuba jokes

[Shipwreckscanada]

I need some good scuba jokes for a toast I’m giving in two weeks. Do you have some jokes you would like to share?

 

[TMHeimer]

One of my favourites by RJP: How many New Jersey scuba divers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: **** off.

 

[PfcAJ]

What do you get when you combine a scuba diver with a janitor?

Jaques Coustodian!

 

[TONY CHANEY]

Three instructors from PADI, NAUI and SSI are with their students on a boat going to do a deep ocean dive. The boat starts to take on water and starts to sink. The PADI instructor tells his student set his compass to point for to shore and prepare for a long dive, The NAUI instructor tells his student to grab an additional tank for a long dive back to shore and the SSI instructor tells his student, if you give me an extra $100.00 we can knock out your wreck cert.

 

[The Chairman]

Why do mermaids wear sea shells?

Spoiler

B shells are too darn small!

What do you call that warm spot in your wetsuit?

Spoiler

a Urinecline!

Did you realize that BOYLES law is actually an acronym?

Spoiler

Breath Or Your Lungs Explode Stupid!

 

[cannon fodder]

Q: Why don't sharks attack women?
A: Because they're man eaters!

 

[The Chairman]

Or attack attorneys?

Spoiler

Profesional Courtesy

 

[RJP]

Q: Why do scuba divers roll backwards out of the boat?

A: Because if they rolled forward they'd still be in the boat!

 

[enduser]

What's the difference between a scuba instructor and a pizza?

A pizza can feed a family of 4.

 

[Littlerayray]

These are awesome jokes keep em comin