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Post Your Pretty Funny Stuff Here

Discussion in 'Humor, Games, Clips, Yarns & Tales' started by sandshaker, Nov 1, 2006.

  1. Insta-Gator

    Insta-Gator Blaaaaagh! ScubaBoard Supporter

    # of Dives: 200 - 499
    Location: Venice, Florida
    27,889
    38,517
    John get's very excited about tropical storms.
     
    pidgiepoo likes this.
  2. SC_Hoaty

    SC_Hoaty Solo Diver

    # of Dives: 25 - 49
    Location: SC
    5,594
    4,019
  3. Insta-Gator

    Insta-Gator Blaaaaagh! ScubaBoard Supporter

    # of Dives: 200 - 499
    Location: Venice, Florida
    27,889
    38,517
    Harry Potter bus ride?
     
  4. ROXANNE

    ROXANNE Artist

    # of Dives: 500 - 999
    Location: Tampa Bay area, Florida, USA
    3,974
    2,480
    We we're looking for videos on Bonaire to share for the Invasion thread and came across this one. I thought it was really funny and thought I would share it here too.




     
    Last edited: Nov 12, 2012
    Mark Derail likes this.
  5. sandshaker

    sandshaker Contributor

    # of Dives: 100 - 199
    Location: Panama City Beach, FL.
    3,706
    22
    I have been a Facebook junkie lmao

     
    Insta-Gator likes this.
  6. pidgiepoo

    pidgiepoo Contributor

    # of Dives: 200 - 499
    Location: columbus, ohio
    1,376
    515







    We were dressed and ready to go out for an evening of ‘Dinner-Theatre’.
    >
    > We turned on a night-light, turned on the answering-machine, covered our pet
    > budgie’s cage,
    >
    > put the cat in the backyard and phoned the local Taxi Company, to request a
    > cab.
    > The taxi arrived and we opened the front door to leave the house.
    >
    > As we walked out the door, the cat we had put out in the yard, scooted back
    > into the house.
    >
    > We didn't want the cat shut inside the house because she always tries to get
    > at the budgie.
    >
    > So, my wife went on out to the taxi, while I went back inside to get the ca

    > The cat ran upstairs, with me in hot pursuit.

    > Waiting in the cab, my wife didn't want the driver to know that the house
    > would be empty for the night.
    >
    > So, she explained to the taxi driver that I would be out soon...
    >
    > "He's just going upstairs to say good-bye to my Mother."

    > A few minutes later, I got into the cab.
    >
    > "Sorry, I took so long," I said, as we drove away.
    >
    > "That stupid bitch was hiding under the bed.
    >
    > I had to poke her arse with a coat-hanger to get her to come out!
    >
    > She tried to take off, so I grabbed her by the neck.
    >
    > Then, I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me.
    >
    > But, it worked...
    >
    > I hauled her fat arse downstairs and threw her out into the back yard.
    >
    > She'd better not **** in the vegetable garden, again!

    > The silence in the taxi was deafening...










     
  7. sibermike7

    sibermike7 ScubaBoard Supporter ScubaBoard Supporter

    # of Dives: I just don't log dives
    Location: Tallinn, Estonia
    1,211
    141
    Clergy Poker


    A minister and his two friends, a priest and a rabbi, played poker for small stakes once a week. The only problem was that they lived in a very conservative blue-law town.
    One night, the sheriff raided their game and took all three before the local judge.
    After listening to the sheriff's story, the judge sternly inquired of the priest, "Were you gambling, Father?"
    The priest looked toward heaven, whispered, "Oh, Lord, forgive me," and then said aloud, "No, your honor, I was not gambling."


    "Were you gambling, Rabbi Abraham?" the judge asked the rabbi.
    The rabbi repeated the priest's actions and replied, "No, your honor, I was not gambling."


    Turning to the third clergyman, the judge asked, "Were you gambling, Reverend?"
    The minister eyed him coolly and replied, "With whom?"
     
    sandshaker and pidgiepoo like this.
  8. Insta-Gator

    Insta-Gator Blaaaaagh! ScubaBoard Supporter

    # of Dives: 200 - 499
    Location: Venice, Florida
    27,889
    38,517
    TALE OF AN OLDER WOMAN





    SHE RODE UP, SLOWLY CLIMBED DOWN AND TIED HER OLD MULE TO THE HITCH RAIL. AS SHE STOOD THERE, BRUSHING SOME OF THE DUST FROM HER FACE AND CLOTHES, A YOUNG GUNSLINGER STEPPED OUT OF THE SALOON WITH A GUN IN ONE HAND AND A BOTTLE OF WHISKEY IN THE OTHER.

    THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER LOOKED AT THE
    OLD WOMAN AND LAUGHED, SAYING, “HEY OLD WOMAN HAVE YOU EVER DANCED?

    THE OLD WOMAN LOOKED UP AT THE
    GUNSLINGER AND SAID, "NO, I NEVER DID
    DANCE... NEVER REALLY WANTED
    TO."

    A CROWD HAD GATHERED AS THE
    GUNSLINGER GRINNED AND SAID, "WELL, OLD
    WOMAN, YOU'RE GONNA DANCE NOW,"
    AND STARTED SHOOTING AT THE OLD
    WOMAN'S FEET.

    THE OLD WOMAN PROSPECTOR - NOT WANTING
    TO GET HER TOE BLOWN OFF -
    STARTED HOPPING AROUND. EVERYBODY
    WAS LAUGHING.

    WHEN HIS LAST BULLET HAD BEEN FIRED,
    THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER, STILL
    LAUGHING, HOLSTERED HIS GUN AND
    TURNED AROUND TO GO BACK INTO THE
    SALOON.

    THE OLD WOMAN TURNED TO HER PACK
    MULE, PULLED OUT A DOUBLE-BARRELED
    10 GUAGE SHOTGUN, AND COCKED BOTH HAMMERS.

    THE LOUD CLICKS CARRIED CLEARLY
    THROUGH THE DESERT AIR. THE CROWD
    STOPPED LAUGHING IMMEDIATELY.

    THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER HEARD THE
    SOUNDS TOO, AND HE TURNED AROUND VERY
    SLOWLY. THE SILENCE WAS ALMOST
    DEAFENING.

    THE CROWD WATCHED AS THE YOUNG
    GUNMAN STARED AT THE OLD WOMAN AND THE
    LARGE GAPING HOLES OF THOSE TWIN
    BARRELS.

    THE BARRELS OF THE SHOTGUN NEVER
    WAVERED IN THE OLD WOMAN'S HANDS, AS
    SHE QUIETLY SAID, "SON, HAVE
    YOU EVER LICKED A MULE'S ASS?"

    THE GUNSLINGER SWALLOWED HARD AND
    SAID, "NO MAM... BUT... I'VE
    ALWAYS WANTED TO."

    THERE ARE A FEW LESSONS FOR US ALL
    HERE:

    1 - NEVER BE ARROGANT.
    2 - Don't waste ammunition.
    3 – Don’t let whiskey make you
    think you're smarter than you are.
    4 - Always, always make sure you
    know who has the power.
    5 - Don't mess with older women;
    they didn't get old by being stupid…
     
    Jax and ROXANNE like this.
  9. pidgiepoo

    pidgiepoo Contributor

    # of Dives: 200 - 499
    Location: columbus, ohio
    1,376
    515
    1 - NEVER BE ARROGANT.
    2 - Don't waste ammunition.
    3 – Don’t let whiskey make you
    think you're smarter than you are.
    4 - Always, always make sure you
    know who has the power.
    5 - Don't mess with older women;
    they didn't get old by being stupid…

    LOL- love these Insta-gator :)
     
    Insta-Gator likes this.
  10. SC_Hoaty

    SC_Hoaty Solo Diver

    # of Dives: 25 - 49
    Location: SC
    5,594
    4,019
    Two Irish nuns have just arrived in USA by boat, and one says to the other,
    "I hear that the people in this country actually eat dogs."

    "Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in America , we might as
    well do as the Americans do."

    As they sit, they hear a push cart vendor yelling, "Hot Dogs, get your dogs
    here," and they both walk towards the hot dog cart.

    "Two dogs, please!," says one. The vendor is very pleased to oblige, wraps
    both hot dogs in foil and hands them over. Excited, the nuns hurry to a bench and begin to unwrap their 'dogs.'

    The mother superioris first to open hers.

    She begins to blush, and then after staring at it for a moment, leans to the
    other Nun and in a soft brogue whispers.

    "What part did you get?"
     
    goflyplanes and Insta-Gator like this.

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