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Post Your Pretty Funny Stuff Here

Discussion in 'Humor, Games, Clips, Yarns & Tales' started by sandshaker, Nov 1, 2006.

  1. АлександрД

    АлександрД Contributor

    # of Dives: 100 - 199
    Location: Moscow, Russia
    999
    1,838
    PLEASE! No not accept it to any personality! It is just autotranslation(by Google) from this article: Дневник канадского эмигранта
    It is old [:|||||:] (Bayan) :) Hope, could be interesting to Florida citizens :)

    Diary of a Canadian expat
    August 15th.
    Here we are in Canada !!! I am fascinated by this country! It's amazing here! The mountains are so beautiful. I look forward to seeing them covered in snow.

    October 14th.
    CANADA! This is the most wonderful place on earth! The leaves on the trees turned yellow and acquired all shades of the spectrum, from red to orange. Yesterday I made a fascinating trip to the countryside, to the countryside. You will not believe! I saw wild deer! In the wild, they are so beautiful and graceful. These are truly the most adorable animals on the planet. Well, just cute! No, this is truly heaven!

    November 11th.
    Deer hunting season is opening soon. This is terrible! I can't imagine that someone could raise a hand against this cute, harmless creature. Snow is expected from day to day. I like it here!

    December 2nd.
    At last! It snowed that night. HOORAY!!! Waking up in the morning, we found a charming picture outside the window. Everything is covered with a snow-white, fluffy blanket. Look like an awesome Christmas card! I am impressed! My wife and I happily ran out of the house, and quickly clearing the porch and parking lot in front of the house, we started throwing snowballs with laughter. (I won). Suddenly the snowplow drove past us, covering the entire parking lot with snow. But this did not upset us, and I quickly threw the snow back. How good it is here! I love Canada!

    December 12th.
    It snowed again that night. The snowplow repeated his trick and filled up the parking lot.

    19th December.
    It snowed again that night. I was never able to clear the parking lot and leave for work. It's great here, of course, but I'm already exhausted, constantly clearing the parking lot of snow. You idiotic snowplow!

    December 22nd.
    Again this white abomination fell at night! I got bloody blisters on my hands and constant pain in my lower back from the endless cleaning of the snow. It seems that this woodpecker on a snowplow is hiding around the corner and is just waiting for me to throw snow from the parking lot. ASS !!!

    December 25th.
    MURRY F**KEN CHRISMAS! That f**king snow again !!! Just to get to the throat of that son of a bitch on the snowplow. I swear I'd strangle the freak !!! And then why don't city services sprinkle salt on icy roads? Yesterday I walked and almost killed myself.

    December 27th.
    This white sh!t fell out again at night !!! The third day I sit at home, except for outings to clear the parking lot after the snowplow. I can't get out anywhere. The car disappeared under the mountain of this white rubbish! And how brutally cold! The guy from the forecast bureau promises on TV another 20 centimeters of white sh!t tonight. GOAT!!! Do you know how many shovels of snow these 20 centimeters will make ???

    December 28th.
    That forecaster condom was wrong! Dropped 50 centimeters. It looks like this goddamned snow will not melt until summer. The snowplow got stuck near our house, and this as**ole driver came running to us asking to borrow a shovel. I told him that I broke six shovels, throwing back that white sh!t with which he filled up our parking lot, and now I will break the seventh on his head of lamb.

    4th January.
    Today I finally got out of the house !!! I went to the store to buy food. And so, on the way back, this cattle - a deer - flies out onto the road and smashes the entire front of the car with its hooves. Three thousand dollars in damage !!! Why didn't the assholes hunters kill these scum in November? These creatures (deer) are everywhere and everywhere. What would tear them apart, bastards!

    3rd May.
    I took the car to the workshop. Believe it or not, this tub managed to rust completely, from the salt that goats from city services poured onto the roads.

    May 10th.
    Everything! I'm leaving for Florida. I can't imagine anyone sane would want to live in this f**king Canada!
     
  2. divesergeant

    divesergeant Solo Diver

    # of Dives: 500 - 999
    Location: Midwest USA
    531
    116
    I read where someone set off a bomb in a French cheese shop.

    Da Brie was everywhere.
     
    FezUSA, Joneill, BrackaFish and 2 others like this.
  3. JohnRom

    JohnRom Divemaster

    # of Dives: 2,500 - 4,999
    Location: Ottawa Canada
    106
    79
    What do you mean it didn't snow until Dec 2nd. You had an easy start to the season. Also, unless you lost your mind after the beginning of January, you were just coming into the real winter. First there will be the 3 weeks of - 40 (it doesn't matter if you are F or C at -40) and then the snow will start again and run until at least April. See what a joy to live in Canada were we do have four seasons - nearly winter, winter, still winter and get ready for winter.
     
  4. Bottom Surveyor

    Bottom Surveyor Registered

    # of Dives: I just don't log dives
    Location: United Kingdom
    62
    81
  5. АлександрД

    АлександрД Contributor

    # of Dives: 100 - 199
    Location: Moscow, Russia
    999
    1,838
     
  6. dead dog

    dead dog ScubaBoard Supporter ScubaBoard Supporter

    # of Dives: 2,500 - 4,999
    Location: SoCal via Pittsburgh, Pa.
    695
    358
    No words are needed. lol
    upload_2020-11-22_22-18-40.png
     
  7. Bottom Surveyor

    Bottom Surveyor Registered

    # of Dives: I just don't log dives
    Location: United Kingdom
    62
    81
  8. Graeme Fraser

    Graeme Fraser Tech Instructor

    # of Dives: 1,000 - 2,499
    Location: Narnia
    927
    1,608
    IMG-20201208-WA0001.jpg
     
    Catito, Lostdiver71 and BrackaFish like this.
  9. Graeme Fraser

    Graeme Fraser Tech Instructor

    # of Dives: 1,000 - 2,499
    Location: Narnia
    927
    1,608
    IMG-20201207-WA0000.jpg
     
    BrackaFish likes this.
  10. MaxBottomtime

    MaxBottomtime Divemaster

    # of Dives: 2,500 - 4,999
    Location: Torrance, CA
    9,527
    9,952

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