Wow. Sorry, no way to sugar coat this one. What a spectacular failure of judgement, planning and situational awareness. OP, I appreciate your write up, but I'm worried that you are normalizing deviance a bit here based on the tone of the report.
Don't mean to pile on, but I think that any new divers reading this thread should understand that the correct response to surviving a CF like this is not "that was one of the funnest dives ever".
Other things that stand out:
"I checked my air-I had blown through 500 psi. There was not enough time to worry about that, however. All around me were innumerable banner fish, surgeonfish, and butterfly fish taking shelter from the current and I swiveled around to take it all in."
No, when you realize that you are blowing through your only gas supply at a higher than anticipated rate (and approaching NDL), that is EXACTLY what you need to worry about. The last thing that you should be paying attention to are the banner fish.
"Mark, who was already buddy-breathing at this point with the divemaster, showed us his wrist-mounted dive computer. He still had 30 minutes of decompression left."
Not sure what happened here. At some point Mark blew right past the NDL on his computer? Why didn't he ascend to some degree, long before this point?
"I feared that Mark would be traumatized, or even ashamed about being low on air, when in fact, it wasn’t his fault."
Unless someone was sneaking up behind him and breathing off his backup reg, it was absolutely his fault to be low on air.
"At this point, the divemaster asked that Mark breath from my octopus, since he was too low on air to continue buddy-breathing. I was down to 300 psi, nearly empty with 15 minutes left to go, but offered my octopus to my husband."
This is just insane. Not sure if the DM should have surfaced quickly and asked for a tank and reg to be sent down, or if he was afraid to leave you two for a few seconds (admittedly a hard choice), but a plan that involves two divers finishing off 15 minutes of deco on a single tank with the gauge reading 300 PSI is crazy. SPGs are inaccurate at low pressures, you might have both been completely OOG.
You could make a case for blowing off deco, surfacing, and either getting new tanks and doing a redescent with skipped deco protocol, or observing you on surface O2 if there was a chamber nearby. All bad choices at that point, but having two divers in the water with no gas and a deco obligation is a situation that no one should ever be in.
"Antoine apologized for taking us on such a “technical” dive."
He didn't take you on a technical dive. A technical dive involves planning your dive including ascent profile and gas management so that you can complete your decompression obligation, ideally even in the case of a lost gas scenario. I don't know what to call what he took you on, but it sure wasn't a tech dive.