So what should have happened?

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Just out of curiousity what was the dive shop?

while I am "new" also, we spent aweek in the keys and dove with 3 different shops (Conch Republic was bar far the best we dove with & no I dont work for them :D)

But we used 2 others that all had a similar protocol, deep dive on a wreck, but generally the 2nd dive was a shallow reef, but I think the shortest we ever had was a 35 min surface interval.

We were on spiegal on dive and a female diver came up on the wrong line, I watched the captain berate her from the ship as to why she wouldnt swim over (current was typical spiegal-strong) he cussed the whole time he had to move the ship to pick her up, the lady was very freaked out (failry overweight and wasnt up for the swim, maybe she shouldnt have been on the dive, but the dive shop watcher her waddle into the boat and take her money) and I think the whole ship of divers fealt that the attitude of the "captain" was pretty bad, but its typical of the "customer no service" in some of the keys dive shops
 
Greetings markrodg and I think your thread has had some very good posts. I had a experience in Mexico that was simular. Had it happened now I would have just spoke up and chose not to dive. But then at dive 12-14 I figured it would be ok. It was and all ended well and many lessons learned. The after dive debrief taught me what I already knew we need to be able to take care of ourselves and take our responsibility seriously. So it was a lesson learned early on in my dive career that has served me well ever since.
In your situation I would learn as much as I could and as you have been doing and continue to study and gain dive experience. If something sounds wrong it most of the time is. When you call a dive there is no shame or pressure if you feel pressured because of it, by all means walk away! It is far better to error on the side of caution than trust your safety to anyone. This is my opinion based on my experience and training. I am not saying that dive operations or boat captains are careless but it really is up to the diver to determine his or her dive limits. In fairness to the dive industry as a whole divers need to know their own limits and training limitations.
The protocol for diving in the conditions you described sound like the judgement exercised by the DM and boat captain might have been questionable. But I was not there and can not know what their reasoning for deciding to splash. What I do know is if I am not comfortable with the decision, I AM OUT! If there needs to be a conversation back at the dock then so be it. Better that than a incident in the water.
Good luck and safe diving to you let this lesson serve you well.
CamG Keep diving....keep training....keep learning!
 
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