shellim123
Look, I'm an atom!
Dear Santa,
>
> >I've been a good mom all year.
>
> >I've fed, cleaned and cuddled my
>
> >children on demand, visited the doctor's office more than my doctor,
>
> >sold sixty-two cases of candy bars to raise money to plant a shade tree
>
> >on the school playground. I was hoping you could spread my list out
>
> >over several Christmases, since I had to write this letter with my
>
> >son's red crayon, on the back of a receipt in the laundry room between
>
> >cycles, and who knows when I'll find anymore free time in the next
> 18 years.
>
> >
>
> >Here are my Christmas wishes:
>
> >
>
> >I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache (in any color, except purple,
>
> >which I already have) and arms that don't hurt or flap in the breeze;
>
> >but are strong enough to pull my screaming child out of the candy aisle
>
> >in the grocery store.
>
> >
>
> >I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the seventh month
>
> >of my last pregnancy.
>
> >
>
> >If you're hauling big ticket items this year I'd like fingerprint
>
> >resistant windows and a radio that only plays adult music; a television
>
> >that doesn't broadcast any programs containing talking animals; and a
>
> >refrigerator with a secret compartment behind the crisper where I can
>
> >hide to talk on the phone.
>
> >
>
> >On the practical side, I could use a talking doll that says, "Yes,
> Mommy"
>
> >to boost my parental confidence, along with two kids who don't fight
>
> >and three pairs of jeans that will zip all the way up without the use
>
> >of power tools.
>
> >
>
> >
>
> >I could also use a recording of Tibetan monks chanting "Don't eat in
>
> >the living room" and "Take your hands off your brother," because my
>
> >voice seems t o be just out of my children's hearing range and can only
>
> >be heard by the dog.
>
> >
>
> >If it's too late to find any of these products, I'd settle for enough
>
> >time to brush my teeth and comb my hair in the same morning, or the
>
> >luxury of eating food warmer than room temperature without it being
>
> >served in a Styrofoam container.
>
> >
>
> >If you don't mind, I could also use a few Christmas miracles to
>
> >brighten the holiday season. Would it be too much trouble to declare
>
> >ketchup a vegetable? It will clear my conscience immensely. It would be
>
> >helpful if you could coerce my children to help around the house
>
> >without demanding payment as if they were the bosses of an organized
> crime family.
>
> >
>
> >Well, Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is ringing and my son saw my feet
>
> >under the laundry room door. I think he wants his crayon back.
>
> >
>
> >
>
> >Have a safe trip and remember to leave your wet boots by the door and
>
> >come in and dry off so you don't catch cold.
>
> >
>
> >Help yourself to cookies on the table but don't eat too many or leave
>
> >crumbs on the carpet.
>
> >
>
> >Yours Always, MOM...!
>
> >
>
> >P.S. One more thing...you can cancel all my requests if you can keep my
>
> >children young enough to believe in Santa.
>
> >
>
> >
>
> >*Santa has asked that this gets passed on to all the mommies you know*
>
>
>
> Merry Christmas ; )
>
> >I've been a good mom all year.
>
> >I've fed, cleaned and cuddled my
>
> >children on demand, visited the doctor's office more than my doctor,
>
> >sold sixty-two cases of candy bars to raise money to plant a shade tree
>
> >on the school playground. I was hoping you could spread my list out
>
> >over several Christmases, since I had to write this letter with my
>
> >son's red crayon, on the back of a receipt in the laundry room between
>
> >cycles, and who knows when I'll find anymore free time in the next
> 18 years.
>
> >
>
> >Here are my Christmas wishes:
>
> >
>
> >I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache (in any color, except purple,
>
> >which I already have) and arms that don't hurt or flap in the breeze;
>
> >but are strong enough to pull my screaming child out of the candy aisle
>
> >in the grocery store.
>
> >
>
> >I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the seventh month
>
> >of my last pregnancy.
>
> >
>
> >If you're hauling big ticket items this year I'd like fingerprint
>
> >resistant windows and a radio that only plays adult music; a television
>
> >that doesn't broadcast any programs containing talking animals; and a
>
> >refrigerator with a secret compartment behind the crisper where I can
>
> >hide to talk on the phone.
>
> >
>
> >On the practical side, I could use a talking doll that says, "Yes,
> Mommy"
>
> >to boost my parental confidence, along with two kids who don't fight
>
> >and three pairs of jeans that will zip all the way up without the use
>
> >of power tools.
>
> >
>
> >
>
> >I could also use a recording of Tibetan monks chanting "Don't eat in
>
> >the living room" and "Take your hands off your brother," because my
>
> >voice seems t o be just out of my children's hearing range and can only
>
> >be heard by the dog.
>
> >
>
> >If it's too late to find any of these products, I'd settle for enough
>
> >time to brush my teeth and comb my hair in the same morning, or the
>
> >luxury of eating food warmer than room temperature without it being
>
> >served in a Styrofoam container.
>
> >
>
> >If you don't mind, I could also use a few Christmas miracles to
>
> >brighten the holiday season. Would it be too much trouble to declare
>
> >ketchup a vegetable? It will clear my conscience immensely. It would be
>
> >helpful if you could coerce my children to help around the house
>
> >without demanding payment as if they were the bosses of an organized
> crime family.
>
> >
>
> >Well, Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is ringing and my son saw my feet
>
> >under the laundry room door. I think he wants his crayon back.
>
> >
>
> >
>
> >Have a safe trip and remember to leave your wet boots by the door and
>
> >come in and dry off so you don't catch cold.
>
> >
>
> >Help yourself to cookies on the table but don't eat too many or leave
>
> >crumbs on the carpet.
>
> >
>
> >Yours Always, MOM...!
>
> >
>
> >P.S. One more thing...you can cancel all my requests if you can keep my
>
> >children young enough to believe in Santa.
>
> >
>
> >
>
> >*Santa has asked that this gets passed on to all the mommies you know*
>
>
>
> Merry Christmas ; )
