Suggestion Why isn't there a "Men's Forum"?

[divad]

Just asking.

 

[Diver0001]

Where I live it's common for men to work 4 days a week so they can have a "papa-day". In reality, which is what happened to me, they still work the same hours, or more (because of feeling guilty), but they end up working 12 hour days or one day in the weekend to "compensate" for their "day off". I was so relieved when I could go back to work "full time" and only be busy with my work for 50-60 hours a week. Not having to stay home one day a week with the kids seemed like getting time off because my work load went from 70 to +/- 55 hours a week and I actually had my weekends back again.

An actual "stay at home dad" here would be considered a "drop out" and a "failure" by both men and women. In the business I work in if you spent 2 years at home caring for babies then you may not be considered "employable" after that. Many prospective employers may simply assume that you stayed at home for so long because you lack the motivation to work.

As for the child care thing. I don't have this experience myself but my best friend's wife literally "ran away" and took the kids with her. When he reported it to the police they laughed at him because the kids were with their mother. When he asked what would have happened if HE had taken the kids and ran away he was told that he would have been arrested and charged with kidnapping. In the end she got child support even though the kids ended up living with him once she got tired of them. It's so weird to see a single father raising 2 kids and just scraping by at the ragged edge of mental breakdown while the mother is getting alimony and child support even after dumping the kids and marrying another guy.

So yeah. there is sexism in this area.

R..

 

[Buliwyf]

I'd love to be a stay at home dad. If she'd call me a homemaker like I'd want to be. Because I'd do the job, NOT just stay home.

And there's the rub. Usually stay at home dads are under complete authoritarian control of thier spouse.

Could I still enjoy Italian motorcycles?
Could I still go diving?
Could I still take care of my parents?

Thanks, but I'll keep my day job. Unless I find a wealthy woman, I don't think the stay at home bit would work out. I'm too independent.

 

[kelemvor]

I'd love to be a stay at home dad. If she'd call me a homemaker like I'd want to be. Because I'd do the job, NOT just stay home.

And there's the rub. Usually stay at home dads are under complete authoritarian control of thier spouse.

Could I still enjoy Italian motorcycles?
Could I still go diving?
Could I still take care of my parents?

Thanks, but I'll keep my day job. Unless I find a wealthy woman, I don't think the stay at home bit would work out. I'm too independent.

You've found the secret. We need sugar mommies!

 

[Buliwyf]

They're out there (in OH) but they all require a ton of lead to sink. It's amazing what relationships have become. Does anyone fall in love anymore?

Want to do a social experiment? My work trucks in the shop. Just driving a plain white loaner. Going to tell my ex-girlfriend, that still acts like a current girlfriend for some odd reason, that a I quit my job.

See how quick she'll take off, for good hopefully.

 

[Storker]

Could I still enjoy Italian motorcycles?

With the right woman: yes.

Could I still go diving?

With the right woman: yes.

Could I still take care of my parents?

With the right woman: yes.

Equal rights is a two-way street. I know, shocking. Still, some women - and some men - realize that.

Does anyone fall in love anymore?

I did. My son still does.

 

[Diver0001]

They're out there (in OH) but they all require a ton of lead to sink. It's amazing what relationships have become. Does anyone fall in love anymore?

Not me. Despite all of my talk of compassion, it is much easier to be compassionate to a total stranger than to a spouse... and this knife cuts both ways. If I knew then what I know now I would have a difficult choice to make. Stay single and deal with being lonely or to make sacrifice upon sacrifice and compromise upon compromise until I am a shadow of the man I believed myself to be when I was young. I'm sure she feels the same.

Although I love her deeply and I'm loyal to a fault, I've told her multiple times that whatever happens, our relationship has cured me of women. Nothing on this earth could tempt me into trying to bond like this with a woman again. Nothing.

R..

 

[Buliwyf]

Oh no, you can completely change your ways and become the perfect dad. Then she'll lose interest in you because you're not racey enough anymore.

You change to please them, and then they aren't pleased with what you've become.

I've never seen any creature on this planet that loves it's sig other so intensely, and then dispose of them just a moment later because they don't love them anymore. (outside of the insect world at least)

Actually, I'm not lonely at all. I think I'll choose to be single the rest of my life though. I love to have kids, but not to a Woman that's going to just take them away and turn them against me. Oh and alimony has got to be a ton of fun. Women have kind of turned themselves into disposable play things. Isn't that the opposite of they way they want us to feel about them? If I was 21 again, this would be great.

 

[Storker]

Oh no, you can completely change your ways and become the perfect dad. Then she'll lose interest in you because you're not racey enough anymore.

You change to please them, and then they aren't pleased with what you've become.

Bovine manure. I sorta pity you.

 

[Diver0001]

Bovine manure. I sorta pity you.

I understand what he's saying. In my experience women expect to be able to mold you into the man they fantasized about but couldn't find. I see it all around me. In the molding process, you run a heavy risk of losing that little bit of whatever you had that they found attractive to begin with. Over the course of years you slowly turn into a polished and obedient turd when what attracted them to you in the beginning was your aloof, independent and adventurous nature.

I bet you can't find 5 guys in 100 who have been married a long time who can't relate to that.

R..

 

[Diver0001]

.... and now this thread has become it's own little "men's forum".... LOL

R..