Wife will not let me dive without a dive master..

[FinnMom]

Maybe you could make some sort of deal: if I really do get myself killed I promise to freely admit you were right and never disagree with anything you suggest ever again ;-)

Or my brother-in-law's approach: he replies to all directions/suggestions/ etc with a cheerful "Yes dear", and then proceeds to do exactly what he would have done w/o her input. He never argues and never has to go through the trouble of explaining why he thinks something different is a better idea. He is cheerful, warm & loving, but selectively deaf - a very popular and time-tested solution.
In the beginning this is likely to cause some discord but what the heck:
making up can be a fun pastime too ;-)

 

[DivemasterDennis]

oldschoolto, I hope your comments are ignored as they should be. Mscdex, I applaud you for honoring your wife's wishes at this very early stage in your diving history. I think it is appropriate for you to tell her that you appreciate her concern and will honor her wishes until you have more experience or acquire more advanced training. Then, connect with a local dive club that has local diving outings at which at least one DM or instructor is present (even if there or a dozen or more other divers on the outing). At some point wife will appreciate that you are more experienced or more trained and more familiar with a local site, and no doubt she will feel better about you going there, and I predict, even want to go with you.
DivemasterDennis

 

[Dr. Lecter]

But whether or not dirty dishes get put into the dishwasher or not can lead to discussions about divorce.

Good Gods, just pull the bandaid off already. It's not going to get any easier or cheaper, and nobody's getting any younger.

Those who cannot apply diplomacy in a relationship probably can't hold one.

Diplomacy is good; being the second coming of Neville Chamberlain is not conducive to one's long-term happiness.

 

[Frosty]

I had a wife once who told me not to go ride my motorbike. I did miss her for awhile.

 

[oldschoolto]

oldschoolto, I hope your comments are ignored as they should be. Mscdex, I applaud you for honoring your wife's wishes at this very early stage in your diving history. I think it is appropriate for you to tell her that you appreciate her concern and will honor her wishes until you have more experience or acquire more advanced training. Then, connect with a local dive club that has local diving outings at which at least one DM or instructor is present (even if there or a dozen or more other divers on the outing). At some point wife will appreciate that you are more experienced or more trained and more familiar with a local site, and no doubt she will feel better about you going there, and I predict, even want to go with you.
DivemasterDennis

Ignored???? You have no clue what happiness is, IF you think living under someone's thumb is a life... I've never seen a couple that follows the simple rules of a happy spouse makes a happy marriage... And I'll leave all you poor suckers that only wish they had a life to bitch about your other half...... BYE...

Jim....

 

[cmulvaney]

Easy... She said you need a DM. Pick one of these that use the designation DM DM - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
This one could be fun if you like that kind of thing I'm Just Sayin'!!! lol :gorgeous:
Dungeon monitor - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 

[Nemrod]

Well, my wife took my motorcycle keys away and now will not allow me to purchase another even if I only use it for garage burnouts.

N

 

[FinnMom]

You said you had done exactly 4 dives since your checkout dives one full year ago. When diving local quarries like you are, where the two of you are by yourselves somewhere, no safety diver, no surface support, I wasn't left to dive with someone equally or less experienced until my 2nd summer when I had about 25 dives.

Many other threads bring up the idea that diving with a student or even a beginner is almost like diving solo, because you can't expect as much help and support in a crisis and what basic services they might be able to offer is less positive than the negative of how much more likely they are to get unreasonably stressed or have other difficulties. Unlike diving in a group or from a boat, you have no surface support so if something goes seriously wrong with your buddy, you will be left to cope with it until help arrives (help no one but you could have thought to summon).

If you dive with someone only as experienced as yourself, you guys aren't just diving as a buddy pair like the other, more experienced divers, but instead you are each taking the responsibility of buddying with a new and inexperienced diver. That's something we normally leave to active divers with something more like 50 dives experience.

I don't think her tactics are winning or diplomatic, but your wife does actually have some reason for concern. You don't necessarily need supervision but a larger group and some more experienced divers, esp. ones from whom you guys could learn some things, would be a great idea. At the minimum you should consider this to be a serious and challenging dive, give it careful planning and discussion and make very sure you stick to the rules of good judgement about aborting the dive after a single failure, maintaining visual contact at all times, if separated surface after 1 minute and STAY THERE until your buddy surfaces. You and your buddy can figure out what other guidelines you should have.

BTW As a new diver you will also learn vastly more diving with an experienced buddy. If nothing else just seeing how horizontal, calm, motionless and in control of her bouyancy an experienced. diver can be is a great inspiration for a new diver. Especially in a shallow, silty quarry it can take a fairly experienced diver to prove that wake clouds of silt are not absolutely necessary.

 

[NAM001]

Here is a guess. She dives only because you dive. She is not that into it other than for your sake. She is not that confident about her skills/herself and that translates to you not being that skilled either. Do you have kids??? Too protect herself/family she has to protect you. Also could this be her mother talkling through her?

 

[Mscdex]

Here is a guess. She dives only because you dive. She is not that into it other than for your sake. She is not that confident about her skills/herself and that translates to you not being that skilled either. Do you have kids??? Too protect herself/family she has to protect you. Also could this be her mother talkling through her?

I can see this. She seemed to be a little scared in low viz and had a few troubles that our DMs had to work on with her. Even though I was comfortable with everything, she might feel like I have the sane mindset.