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You might be a redneck diver if...

Discussion in 'Basic Scuba Discussions' started by ZKY, Sep 29, 2010.

  1. Hoomi

    Hoomi Manta Ray

    # of Dives: 100 - 199
    Location: Tucson
    992
    85
    28
    ... if you hang a set of "Truck Nuts" from the bottom of your tank.

    ... if your local dive club consists entirely of relatives.

    ... if you've ever gone diving in the local lake, just because "that sumbitch bigmouth bass done got away from me fer the last time!"
     
  2. BCSGratefulDiver

    BCSGratefulDiver Mental toss flycoon ScubaBoard Supporter

    # of Dives: 2,500 - 4,999
    Location: On the Fun Side of Trump's Wall
    79,607
    68,255
    113
    You might be a redneck if ...

    - you begin your dive with the phrase "Hey y'all, watch this" ...

    - you got a coonskin dive hood with the tail hanging off the back ...

    - your favorite surface interval snack is hush puppies and Pabst Blue Ribbon ...

    - your wetsuit has a Carhartt patch on the pocket ...

    - you use fins you made from an old tire you found in the front yard ...

    - this here's your dive propulsion vehicle ...

    [​IMG]

    - and this here's your dive car ...

    [​IMG]

    ... Bob (Grateful Diver)
     
  3. Dirty-Dog

    Dirty-Dog Frequently Censored ScubaBoard Supporter

    # of Dives: 500 - 999
    Location: Pueblo West, CO, USA
    1,992
    1,015
    113
    Fixed that for you...
     
  4. sickday

    sickday Angel Fish

    # of Dives: 25 - 49
    Location: Jupiter
    11
    0
    0
    when you off gas you load your wetsuit
     
  5. MaxBottomtime

    MaxBottomtime Divemaster

    # of Dives: 2,500 - 4,999
    Location: Torrance, CA
    9,470
    9,810
    113
    You might be a redneck if your idea of redundancy is a second roll of duct tape.
     
  6. diver_doug

    diver_doug Solo Diver

    # of Dives: 100 - 199
    Location: Rancho Cucamonga, CA
    485
    77
    0
    You might a be a redneck diver if...


    You think SCUBA stands for: Some Cowboy Underwater Bad-Asses

    You laugh at your buddies Miflex hoses and show them a REAL hose, made from gen-u-ine braided hay.

    Your emergency dive kit consists of oxycodone, skoal and Wild Turkey (fur drinkin' not fur disinfectin')

    You think the Warhammer Manuever is the POINT of diving

    While diving you have sex with a mermaid, and she turns out to be your sister! Then you do it agin' (only this time you enjoy it)!
     
  7. bigken462

    bigken462 Solo Diver

    587
    2
    18
    You get in a tight need for tires so you snatch them off your mobile home trailer so that your vehicle can make it to the chicken fights on Friday, but then get pulled over cause the trailer tag off your home that you so carefully placed on your expired car tag - well is also expired.

    Oh this is about diving.....Well then, you may be a redneck if you use your compressed SCBA air to blow your spit-tum out before putting it back in your BC pocket.
     
  8. Hoomi

    Hoomi Manta Ray

    # of Dives: 100 - 199
    Location: Tucson
    992
    85
    28
    ... if the first diving sign language you learn is how to ask your buddy to pull your finger.

    ... you see a mermaid, and your first thought is, "jes' how much filet could I get off'n that?"

    ... your dive boat always has a bloodhound with his ears flappin' in the breeze, and an anchor made out of a couple of cinder blocks chained together.

    ... your BC is flourescent orange and has loops for shotgun shells across the pockets.
     
  9. Aerosynth

    Aerosynth Nassau Grouper

    # of Dives: 25 - 49
    Location: Midwest/Central U.S. is where I hang my hat. Where
    114
    1
    0
    "First stage" refers to hitting on your dive buddy.
     
  10. Aerosynth

    Aerosynth Nassau Grouper

    # of Dives: 25 - 49
    Location: Midwest/Central U.S. is where I hang my hat. Where
    114
    1
    0
    Your scuba cylinder was ever part of a meth lab.
     

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