Crawling outa the water

[Joe-Diver]

I'm in the "You abandoned your buddy" camp.....

There are many divers who have trouble with the weight of the kit, especially when they have exposure protection that requires them to load up a weight integrated BCD. Whatever the reason, be it a handicap, size issue, strength issue....you should be prepared to assist. If I saw another diver struggling, my buddy or not, I would immediately lend a hand.

So, nobody got hurt...that's good...and hopefully you leaned a valuable lesson with this.

Safe dives!

 

[Zieg]

I completely agree with Markon. Personally I would not have made the dive with this person. But really think about this, Who would have rescued you?

 

[Diver0001]

So yesterday, went diving with a couple people,, my better half couldnt go because she was gettin her hair fixed up to see how it will look for the wedding. Anyhow, I had a new dive buddy, she put her bc and everything on sitting down, then couldnt stand up.. well, we got her to the water, the dive went O.K. we didnt have any problems, till we started walking out of the lake at the end of the dive. Its very rocky there,, we get to about 3 feet of water, I take my mask off,walk out and up to my truck with my gear on to doff it. Its easier in my opinion to leave it on my back to carry it up. Anyhow, when I get to the truck, the lady is trying to crawl out of the lake,,,she cant support the weight of her equipment I guess, well, in the process of trying to exit this way, she loses a fin. I go down to help her look for it, she tells me its my fault cuz I wasnt there to pick her up when she got to shore???? I explained to her that me and my better half always walk out, and up,, I was looking at my own footing because of the rocky shore. I did not expect her to crawl out of the lake tho, thought she was right behind me.
Shouldnt it be a requirement to be able to support your own gear? I dont mind helping out, donning and doffing the bc and what not, but you should be able to support it?

This is all about expectations.

You think she should be able to man-handle her gear

She thinks you're a boob for not helping her

You're both right. She did the right thing by directly (I think) telling you what her expectation is. You did the right thing by explaining that this isn't the usual expection.....

....

and then communication broke down.

What I would suggest is that on your side *you* remain open to the idea that not every buddy is your S.O. and some of your buddies will expect and need other things from you than your usual buddy .... your buddy's problem is that she only made her expectations clear *after* she needed your help..... I'm sure she knew from the get-go that she was going to need your help.

All this comes back to the age-old principle that talking about expectations *before* something happens is better than talking about them *after* something happens.

R..
P.S. If I thought every buddy needed from me exactly what my usual buddy expects from me then then
-1- I would expect every buddy to be highly experienced, highly self sufficient, confident and in control and
-2- I would expect every buddy to want beer after the dive... LOL

Something to think about. Everyone is different.

R..

 

[fnfalman]

Was she hot?

I would have helped her out of water if she's hot.

 

[TheScubaBOB]

Was she hot?

I would have helped her out of water if she's hot.

What else would you have helped her out of

 

[crd_kats]

^ I agree with rotuner's post as well.

I'm going to break with the course of the other responses. While I think the buddy system can be wonderful, I believe in a realistic approach, as death or injury could be the ultimate result. I feel it was unresponsible for your buddy to extend herself beyond her abilities, and expect her buddy to cover her lack of ability. I feel if a buddy has any limitations, they should be made clear at the beginning of a dive (I get vertigo, am sure to let people know). So I think your buddy is diving with unreal expectations. If she needs to be carried, or helped, to and from the water (as I imagine some divers with disabilities do), she should have made that clear at the beginning, and got your OK. That said, of course anybody struggling to get out of the water should be helped.

I'm not tiny, but not a muscular woman either. This last weekend I tried a new tank that allowed me not to use ditchable weight. Now the weight is on my back instead of around my hips. It was unexpected and I had to get used to compensating. That said, I mentioned it to my buddy and he was there, just in case, as I walked to the end of the boat. Communication is key. So is exercise to build up endurance. This is something that isn't permanent and can be worked on if she wants to not be a handicap to her buddy.

 

[crd_kats]

Was she hot?

I would have helped her out of water if she's hot.

Seriously doubt she would have let you. Women develope this instinct early on in diving.

 

[Randy43068]

Seriously people, can't you think of something more important to bitch about than a dive buddy who needs a little help?

Sheesh! A simple thing as this will turn into a big Scubaboard drama which is exactly why I don't post often anymore.

 

[crd_kats]

Seriously people, can't you think of something more important to bitch about than a dive buddy who needs a little help?

Sheesh! A simple thing as this will turn into a big Scubaboard drama which is exactly why I don't post often anymore.

Good way to fan the FLAMES!

 

[MarKon]

C'mon Randy, this is life. If something can be bitched about, it shall be bitched about. If camps can be chosen and divisive lines drawn that promote mob mentality and a loss of individuality, all the better. That's progress, right?