The only way to dive less is will power. It sounds like you want the diving sites to be limited or not as good as others so it limits your choices. You could try to find an island with high diving costs so your budget constrains you. Exuma Bahamas would be an example. It has only one dive shop and its about $180 per two tank dive.
If I knew what you expected topside it would be easier to make a recommendation. Your list has quite a few windward islands so it sounds like you want green, lush, hilly with beaches. Its hard to recommend just one. I think any of them can fit the bill for romantic.
We have found great beaches in the Bahamas. You could try New Providence (Nassau). There is more to do in Nassau but there are more people. Or try an out island where you might find great beaches and hotels less crowded. The Bahamas Govt (Dept of Tourism) is running specials for airfare ($300 off or free companion air with restrictions) if booked before EOY and used before June 30, 2011. We took advantage of it via the hotel. I dont view the Bahamas as a lush paradise. I am not a big fan of scrub. I found the diving in the Bahamas (around New Providence and Exuma) to be a bit boring with a lot of sand but decent coral (and plenty of lionfish). However the blueholes and wrecks were good. The Bond wrecks were broken down tho.
St. Lucia topside is very lush and hilly. The Pitons are inspiring and there are tours of the jungle, Pitons, sulfur springs/volcano, Marigot bay, etc. There is less shopping, no gambling, and less crowds but it depends on what you want. The beaches in St. Lucia are nice but I think, not the best in the Caribbean. We find we generally have to go through several connecting flights, including San Juan PR, to get there from Denver. The diving in St. Lucia is not bad but in my opinion, not great.
I have had friends stay in Saba but they went to dive. I am told Saba has excellent diving (macro photography in particular) so maybe its too much of a temptation.
You might look into the Dominican Republic as well. Several friends have been and said it had nice beaches, good hotels (AI I think) and decent diving. I keep hearing conflicting stories on Turks and Caicos - the diving is great, its not great. I cant tell. I am not as familiar with USVI and BVI but I understand USVI has decent diving and I hear plenty to do topside. BVI is more remote and those I know who went there to dive said there is less to do topside but then they did not seek that out.