bar joke

[Darian Dunn]

Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks

 

[Big O]

Only a fellow buckeye would tell that lame joke!

Dave

 

[WileEDiver]

Reminds me of a joke my 10 year old told me (when she was 9):

A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch!"

 

[Darian Dunn]

It was the only one I could think of that didn’t fall into “The Fastest Way To Get Banned”.

 

[Darian Dunn]

If you didn’t like that last one you will not like this one.

A horse walks into a bar, bartender says "Hay, why the long face?"

A mushroom walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey buddy, we don't serve your kind here." The mushroom replies, "Why not? I'm a fun guy."

A five dollar bill walks into a bar and the bartender says: "Sorry buddy, this is a singles bar."

A neutron walks into a bar and says, "How much for a drink?"
Bartender says, "For you, no charge."


Two atoms bump into each other at a bar. One says, "I think I lost an electron."
The other atom says, "Are you sure?"
The first atom replies, "I'm positive."


A bear walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender, knowing bears are dim, charges $100, and the bear pays. TO make small talk the bartender says "we don't see many bears in these parts." The bear replies "probably because of the high price of beer.


A blonde, a brunette and a redhead walk into a bar. Sorry, can't tell this one here.

A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Hey, we've got a drink named after you.' The grasshopper says 'Why would you name a drink Stan?'

A drunk sittin' at a bar says,
"Hey, bartender, do your lemons have legs?"
The bartender says, "No, why?"
The drunk responds, "Oh, hell! I think just squeezed a canary in ma drink!"

 

[randyjoy]

A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve food here."

A jumper cable walks into a bar. The barman says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says, "A beer please, and one for the road."

Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."

 

[FreeFloat]

Two lengths of rope walk into the bar. They go up to the bartender and order beer. The bartender looks real hard at them and says, "Nope, sorry, we don't serve rope here."

The lengths of rope leave.

They get the same answer at the other two bars on the street (it was a small town).

Outside the first bar again, one rope says to the other, "That's it, I'm giving up."

"Not so fast," says the other. "I have an idea."

It ties itself in the middle and spreads out all its fibers at the top and the bottom. Thus bedraggled, it staggers back into the bar, goes up to the bartender, and orders a beer.

The bartender gives it a very hard look, and says, "Hey, aren't you one of the pieces of rope I just kicked outa here?"

Says the rope, "No, I'm a frayed knot."

 

[jiveturkey]

What's brown and sticky?




















.....










....................











..A STICK!!!!!!!ut:

 

[Darian Dunn]

Hey jiveturkey, this is the bar joke thread. Not the bad joke thread. I know there are alot of similarities.


ut:

 

[WileEDiver]

A termite walks into a cocktail lounge and asks "Is the bartender here?"