Dealing with instabuddys

[DiverLS]

Yes - communications is the thing. I either dive solo or go the instabuddy thing. About twelve years ago, I was not experienced enough to go solo so took the only buddy I could get. She was a newly certified diver and had some inhibitions about the conditions. I didn't listen because I wanted to jump in. So I pushed her. BAD. We ended down current from the boat after the dive and she would NOT swim for the current line. The poor crew. I kept signalling OK and she kept signaling for help.

Now I listen to my instabuddy A LOT before the dive.

I also agree with Charlie99. Scope out the other divers and approach one that you would like to dive with. Being female with a pink tank makes some buuddies cringe. That's before I dive with them.

 

[ClayJar]

I've had three involuntary buddy separations.

The first was when I was diving solo in a spring. I was diving with a few other buddy pairs, but as we were an odd number and I dive solo a lot, I decided it would be best for me to solo. At the last minute, I was unceremoniously buddied with some random person -- he used the "mind if I join you" routine, and somehow I ended up assigned to dive with him. At around 75', he bolted, and after trying to follow for a few feet, I stopped, watched him to the surface, groused about him being a jerk of a buddy (with a twinge of feeling sorry that he couldn't finish the dive), and did a *long*, slow staged ascent (since it was *well* into my diving day, and I'd blasted my ascent rate to smithereens before "cutting him free").

The second involuntary buddy separation I had was diving with some internet people at a quarry. The instabuddy I was stuck with apparently decided that he was going to audition for the scuba races or something, as he took off like a hurricane-induced rip current. I tried to keep up for a little while, but then I shifted to solo mode (I always dive geared for solo) and just tried to keep an eye on him. To his credit, he did pause to find my light every few minutes -- or was that ever few *miles* -- but he was swimming like a shark was after him (and bobbing up and down from the surface through 40-50 feet like the sawtooh profile from [howdy!]). Not staying within proper buddy range was just as much about my personal health and safety as the first time.

The third involuntary buddy separation was on a dive boat with my LDS. My semipermabuddy had opted out of the second dive, so I was officially buddied up with one of the LDS divemasters (who was not helping with any classes). He was not at all attentive before the dive, so I figured I'd end up having to just follow him as far as my profile allowed. I hit the water after he did, and one of my fins was somewhat displaced. By the time I'd re-finned and hit the anchor line, he was nowhere to be found. As my LDS people have no problem with my soloing (and since I *always* dive geared for solo), I had a great dive. It was only while I was at my 15' stop that I saw him again.

That last case was obviously a non-buddy instabuddy who wasn't really at all interested in diving together; the previous two I'd thought would dive buddy-style. In all three cases, however, I'd not that I was unable to get much of a dive plan confirmation. Since these three, I've had occasions where I was diving with others (but not team or buddy diving), and in all cases where it has been a mess (for them, at least), there's been a distinct lack of "plan". I don't know whether that's cause of effect, but it ought to be noted.

One other note: When I'm diving with an instabuddy, I make every effort to be the best buddy they've ever had (at least if they're newish). I do the divemaster-like bits and both watch over them and try to keep them engaged. That said, if I'm diving with someone as a recreational instabuddy, and if they do something that I consider unsafe, all my training has conditioned me to consider myself first so as not to make two injured divers where there would only be one.

(Rescue diver courses are somewhat cold-hearted like that, but you can't help someone if you're incapacitated. Perhaps it'd be worth mentioning that you'll do everything you can to help, but if the choice is between your instabuddy and yourself, you'll choose to have at least one safe diver. Might it just hit some instabuddies enough for them to start thinking before they bolt?)

 

[Heffey]

Hehe I should know better than to make an absolute statement like that. I can definately see how that could happen. I've had a few try to get away from me but I'm pretty fast underwater myself . What is it that makes some people takeoff like a torpedo? Where are they going anyway?

The funny thing about my torpedo buddy is he was on the tour dive on his certification dives and he burned through all of the other divers and passed the dive master and disappeared in a cloud of slit. It seriously looked like his throttle was stuck wide open.

 

[SoSiouxme]

As one of the only divers in my group of friends, I have always had instabuddies. I guess I'm lucky, because I've never really had any problems with the instabuddies.

But, for those are skeptical of the instabuddy, I'd like to relay my recent experience on a liveaboard.

There were 14 of us on this liveaboard - 13 Italians from the same dive shop/club and me - the sole English-speaking passenger. We were divided into 2 groups of divers. The more experienced were put with the English speaking DM (who was also an instructor) and the less experienced group was sent with the Italian speaking DM. I was placed in the group with the English-speaking passenger and buddied with the DM because I spoke English. Also, because I was the 7th person in a dive group of 8 and the Italians, because they all knew each other, it made sense that the DM and I were buddied up.

Okay, no worries - I'm very good on air and I figured -- this is perfect, I'll be with the DM, who knows where the cool stuff is and this should be great.

Well, the DM was busy being a DM which would have been cool except he made for a lousy buddy.

During the second day of the liveaboard, my mask broke just after we descended. I did not have a spare with me (not a mistake I'll repeat) and the mask would not stay on my face without the strap. Okay....no worries. I had just checked my computer right before the mask incident so I knew I was about 65 feet below with a nearly full tank of air. I was not panicked because I figured my buddy would see that I wasn't with the group and see that I was NMOF. I got out my knife and started tapping on my tank to get his (or anybody's) attention. I was helped immediately not by him, but by two other members of my group (one was an instructor's wife who was part of the Italian contingency). After the dive, I asked my DM/buddy where he was, and he said that by the time he got to me, the Italians had fixed my mask. I continued the dive but I knew at that point, I was pretty much on my own.

This was reinforced the next day when during the first dive, my BCD would not deflate for the descent. The rest of my group (including my buddy) went down and I was on the surface. The boat came to me and with the help of the boat boy, we fixed the problem pretty quickly. The Cap't pointed in the direction that the group should be in and gestured (did not speak English) at me to find my group at the bottom. I checked my compass and decided I would give it a go, following the Cardinal rule of buddy separation - I would descend - look for 1 minute and then start to ascend and head for the boat if I did not meet up them. There were scads of boats in the area so I wasn't worried about an "Open Water" incident and I had an SMB, whistle, etc.

I followed my plan and did not find my group but found the Italian DM and his group and the videographer who were all pretty shocked to see me - alone. The videographer signalled that we would be buddies and we continued for a few minutes until my DM/buddy appeared with my group. He seemed surprised to see me. I wrote on his slate what happened in short hand, and he shrugged and we continued the dive.

When he surfaced, I asked him about it and he seemed really unconcerned.

So, I took a lot of lessons from that experience. One, instabuddies are not always bad. Two, ultimately, we are all responsible for our safety down there (This is for another thread - but really the best thing a diver can have is common sense and a cool head). And Three, if you are buddied with the DM understand that it will your responsibility, and your responsibility alone to stay with your buddy and tend to your needs should a problem come up. In my situation, the DM was simply too busy leading the dives to be a responsible buddy and finally, I think whenever I'm buddied with an instabuddy in the future, there will be a conversation about expectations and respective responsibilities - I'm happy to dive with a diver who has far less experience than I do and wants to stay a little closer - as long as I know what they want/expect ahead of time.

Sorry for the length of the post.

Happy (and safe) diving,

--Sioux

 

[Charlie99]

This falls more in the "Group DMs aren't REALLY your buddy" category than in the instabuddy category. Both are important issues though for divers that go to a boat without a regular buddy.

Sioux, your post is similar to many others that have been posted where a diver in a group mistakenly assumes that the group DM will perform normal buddy functions.

The other common mix-up is where a relatively new diver is "buddied" with the DM, goes low on air, and then hangs around with the DM waiting for the DM to ascend with him. Of course, the DM is expecting the diver to ascend by himself. This sort of confusion has caused some near accidents.

It sounds like you never had to ascend early, but if you had, what was the agreed upon procedure?

 

[SoSiouxme]

This falls more in the "Group DMs aren't REALLY your buddy" category than in the instabuddy category. Both are important issues though for divers that go to a boat without a regular buddy.

Sioux, your post is similar to many others that have been posted where a diver in a group mistakenly assumes that the group DM will perform normal buddy functions.

The other common mix-up is where a relatively new diver is "buddied" with the DM, goes low on air, and then hangs around with the DM waiting for the DM to ascend with him. Of course, the DM is expecting the diver to ascend by himself. This sort of confusion has caused some near accidents.

It sounds like you never had to ascend early, but if you had, what was the agreed upon procedure?

Actually, in this instant the DM was my buddy - my instabuddy - at least that is what he told me. Had he not, I would have assumed I was diving without a buddy and made decisions accordingly.

And, we really didn't have a contingency plan had I needed to ascend early. I imagine, I would have gone up and he would have remained after I signaled to him that I was going up for whatever reason. Irregardless of who I was buddied with, I would never hang out at depth with that person if I was running low on air - I would signal that I was bailing because I was low on air.

I don't want to give the impression that this DM was a bad DM -- not at all -- he was a poor buddy after he appointed himself my buddy. Apparently, that meant something different to him than it did to me. Our communication about our respective expectations was in order - it didn't happen - and next time I know better. I assumed that because my instabuddy was a DM, I didn't have to communicate my needs, expectations, etc. I was wrong.

Cheers,

--Sioux

 

[Charlie99]

Actually, in this instant the DM was my buddy - my instabuddy - at least that is what he told me. Had he not, I would have assumed I was diving without a buddy and made decisions accordingly.

And, we really didn't have a contingency plan had I needed to ascend early. I imagine, I would have gone up and he would have remained after I signaled to him that I was going up for whatever reason.

I don't want to give the impression that this DM was a bad DM -- not at all -- he was a poor buddy after he appointed himself my buddy. Apparently, that meant something different to him than it did to me.

I'm not trying to pick on you, but am trying to point out something that is important to any diver that goes on DM-led group dives without a regular buddy.

If he wasn't going to ascend with you, then he isn't your buddy. You were diving with a group, but without a specific buddy. Unless you have an urgent, severe emergency, the DM will continue the dive with the rest of the group. In that sense he is no more buddied with you than anyone else in the group.

This sort of "loose buddy group" diving is common in some areas, particularly warm water resort areas with high visibility such that a DM can visually observe a diver making an ascent to the surface.

If you aren't willing to do a solo ascent, then you need to proactively find yourself someone to buddy up with. Somebody other than the DM.

 

[SoSiouxme]

I'm not trying to pick on you, but am trying to point out something that is important to any diver that goes on DM-led group dives without a regular buddy.

If he wasn't going to ascend with you, then he isn't your buddy. You were diving with a group, but without a specific buddy. Unless you have an urgent, severe emergency, the DM will continue the dive with the rest of the group. In that sense he is no more buddied with you than anyone else in the group.

This sort of "loose buddy group" diving is common in some areas, particularly warm water resort areas with high visibility such that a DM can visually observe a diver making an ascent to the surface.

If you aren't willing to do a solo ascent, then you need to proactively find yourself someone to buddy up with. Somebody other than the DM.

I don't feel picked on, so don't worry. I'm just trying to come up with a solution because this will come up again as I usually traveling solo and thus end up buddyless in any number of diving situations.

I agree that in retrospect, the DM in the case I referenced was a not a true buddy. That revelation was gained through my experience but was contrary to the DM's own words. In every other instance where I had the DM appointed as my "instabuddy", the DM performed normal buddy functions - buddy checks, we descended together, ascended together and I felt like we had each other's backs.

I also agree that in the future, should this happen again, I'll have the discussion about my expectations with my instabuddy - whether they be a DM or not. This way I can decide whether I want to essentially dive solo or not.

But this whole notion really puts the whole PADI ideal on it's ear, no? I'm quite sure that the DM in my situation said we would buddy up because they were a PADI operation, having to conform to the whole PADI regime. If he had said "I'll be your buddy" and I would have said "No, you won't - you are the DM, you're nobody's buddy - I'll be diving solo thankyouverymuch" it wouldn't have sat well with the dive op. No PADI op, IME, wants to condone solo diving even though it really happens all the time.

In my situation finding another buddy wasn't really an option. I was the proverbial third wheel in that the entire boat was chartered after I booked my one spot. So, had I insisted that I would not dive w/o a true buddy, I would not have been diving -- I would have paid a ton of money for a nice, long boat ride.

I go back to my original thought (and actually that from so many on this thread) which is communication BEFORE THE DIVE about expectations and needs regarding the instabuddy relationship - no matter who that person happens to be in the PADI (or NAUI, SSI, etc) food chain - essential to making the instabuddy thing work. If you are buddied with the DM and you have "the conversation" - at least you will know what you are up against and can make decisions accordingly.

That is all.