Divers Song Parodies

[The Chairman]

To the tune of Do-Re-Me

Jaws...

JAWS……. A mouth, a great big mouth
TEETH……The things that kinda crunch
BITE………The friendly sharks "hello"
US……….. His favorite juicy lunch
BLOOD…. That turns the ocean red
CHOMP… That means the sharks has fed
GULP…… That's what the shark just said…
That will bring us back to
JAWS! JAWS! JAWS! JAWS!

AND... I want to dispel a popular myth about sharks here...

You do NOT have to swim faster than that thar shark!

Nope, just swim faster than your buddy and you will be alright!!!

:tease:

 

[Ontario Diver]

Pete, DivingGal, Butch, Kane(adian); this one is for you guys especially;

It's based on a old East coast Shanty (Thanks Great Big Sea)


Scuba Diving (From Donkey Riding - trad.)

[chorus]
Whey, hey, and away we go
SCUBA diving, SCUBA Diving
Whey, hey, and away we go
Diving underwater

Have you been to Toby-more
You can dive from boat or shore
If you like wrecks there's always more
When you SCUBA diving!

[chorus]

Have you dove under Polar Ice
diving dry, they say is nice
diving wet, you don't do twice
When you're SCUBA diving!

[chorus]

Have you dove down Kingston way
From Brockville across to Picton Bay
O'er a hundred wrecks; there are to play
When you're SCUBA diving!

[chorus]

Have you dove off the BC coast
Swam amongst the Pacific host
Seen an Orca, Now you'll boast
When you're SCUBA diving!

[chorus]

Have you dove off Pene-tang
Of which the mariners often sang
No need for a deco-bar to hang
When you're SCUBA diving!

[chorus]

Have you dove Les Ecoumins
Don't go there if you want to tan
See Beluga and become a fan
When you're SCUBA diving!

[chorus]

Have you been to Parry Sound;
Run out of air, you just might drown,
But there's a beer store right in town
After Scuba Diving --- note the politically correct change to promote safe diving.....

[chorus]

Dive below the thermocline
Canadian Diving's rather fine
So much so with friends of mine
When you're SCUBA diving!

[Last chorus, everybody join in!]

 

[scubadweeb]

(To the tune of enery (Henry) the 8th)

I'm airing the 8th, I am.
Airing the 8th, I am, I am.
Full to the rim read the divers console,
They've been diving 7 times before
And every one was an airing - (Airing!)
Wouldn't have a breather or a trox - (or a trox!)
It's the 8th ole' can I'm airing,
Airing the 8th I am!

 

[scubadweeb]

(The the tune of Stayin' Alive)

Well you can tell by the way I'm on this dock,
I'm an ocean man, no time to talk,
Using gear that I have worn,
I've been in the sea, since I was born.

Now it's all right. It's okay.
I'm here to dive another day,
We can try - to understand,
Scuba Dive's effect on man.

Whether you're a brother or whether you're another
I'm staying to dive, staying to dive.
Air tastes delicious and I'm swimming with the fishes,
I'm staying to dive, staying to dive.

Ah, ah, ah, ah, staying to dive...

 

[Mario S Caner]

Someone needs to start throwing these on some tracks... cause there's some funny ones here! There are CD's dedicated to diver song Parodies by the way, but I think we've got some real talent here!

 

[The Chairman]

Do as many as you can... these are good...

Now, for the group I have some bad news, and some really bad news... My dive got pushed back till tomorrow (sob, sob) so I spent A LOT OF TIME at the skatboard park with my son... (here's the worst part...) I was bored out of my gourd, so I wrote a bunch of new paradies...

Tainted Air
(Tainted Love)

Sometimes I feel
That I can’t (ba-ba) catch my breath
I got to (ba-ba) take a rest
I've got a bad feeling
'bout the air I'm breathing!

Oh Tainted air,
Wo-Oh-Oh-Oh Tainted air
I’m telling you now,
I got some
Tainted air

Well I got this tingling
In my (ba-ba) lips and toes
And in my (ba-ba) runny nose
I'm tellin' you here
This tainted air ain't fair

Ahhhhhh
First I swam with you...
Now I'm feeling blue...
My lips and fingernails are turning red
If I keep breathing this, I'll soon be dead!!!

(refrain)

So now I find
I got to (ba-ba) swim away
I need to (ba-ba) call DAN today
I can tell by breathin' this tainted air,
I can kiss goodbye my derrière!

(refrain)

 

[Greg G.]

The original artist and song title is...? (Sorry, but I'm not up on some of the newest stuff. My faves so far are the Rescue Me and Rainy Day Women parodies, those I recognize. I'm dating myself, so what.)

Originally posted by NetDoc
Do as many as you can... these are good...

Now, for the group I have some bad news, and some really bad news... My dive got pushed back till tomorrow (sob, sob) so I spent A LOT OF TIME at the skatboard park with my son... (here's the worst part...) I was bored out of my gourd, so I wrote a bunch of new paradies...

Tainted Air

Sometimes I feel
That I can’t (ba-ba) catch my breath
I got to (ba-ba) take a rest
I've got a bad feeling
'bout the air I'm breathing!

Oh Tainted air,
Wo-Oh-Oh-Oh Tainted air
I’m telling you now,
I got some
Tainted air

Well I got this tingling
In my (ba-ba) lips and toes
And in my (ba-ba) runny nose
I'm tellin' you here
This tainted air ain't fair

(refrain)

So I find
I got to (ba-ba) swim away
I need to (ba-ba) call DAN today
I can tell by breathin' this tainted air,
I can kiss goodbye my derrière!

(refrain)

 

[scubadweeb]

Just remember, you started this. I'm walking around the house now singing, Tainted Air and wondering, "Where the hell is that 80's CD I bought last year?"

I too (unfortunately) was bored stiff last afternoon. My business requires me to work with the Postal Service a lot (and no disrespect towards postal employees) however, the seminars are sooooooooooooo dull! I came up with one more...please forgive me:

(To American Pie)

So bye, bye hand-shark feeding dives,
Drove the creatures to the beaches
And they ate people alive.
Some Good Ole' boys were passing laws that won't fly,
Thinkin' This will be the way I survive?

 

[The Chairman]

To the tune of "Losing my Religion" and apologies to REM...

(Which almost was "Losing my Regulator", but the meter was off)

"Trying to stay Submerged..."

That's me in the Grotto
That's me at the bot-tom
Yeah, trying to stay submerged
I still got lots of air,
Oh, and I don't know if I can do it
OhNo!
I thought my belt weighed too much;
But it doesn't weigh enough!

I got me a wetsuit
A BC and regulator too,
I took my classes
Thought I knew just what to do
But I don't think that I can do it
OhNo!
I thought my belt weighed too much;
But it doesn't weigh enough!

You see, I thought that I heard you laughin’
I thought that I heard you say
I heard-you-say that –I- was a Stroke
No joke!
That was really mean!
Yes, that was really mean!

(repeat first verse)

:tease:

 

[scubadweeb]

Greg! Tainted Love was re-recorded by Soft-Cell. (Keep 'em comin' NetDoc).