Military Humor

[O2BBubbleFree]

I think I posted this before, so stop me if you’ve heard this one...

A few weeks into Air Force Basic Training we had a change in Training Instructors. The new TI conducted an “open locker” inspection before he got familiar with recruits names.

Airman Ware happened to be at the clinic, so wasn’t present for the inspection.

The TI looks at the unoccupied space, then turns to the idiot assigned to the next bed.
“Whose bed is this?” he asks, pointing to Airman Ware’s spot.

“Ware, sir.” replies Idiot.

“This bed.” says TI.

“Ware, sir.”

“This bed right here, whose bed is it?”

“Ware, sir.”

“THIS BED RIGHT HERE! DO YOU SEE THIS BED?”

“Yes, sir.”

“WHOSE BED IS TI?”

“Ware, sir.”

"THIS BED RIGHT HERE!!!!"

This little routine went on for about 15 minutes before someone in the back of the room yelled out, “Airman Ware. His name is Airman Ware.”

I was there. ROFL is not an option when you’re in Basic Training, standing at attention, inspection ready. I strained several muscles preventing it.

 

[TCDiver1]

LOL, we have a guy in our Marine Corps League Det whose last name is "Sir".
Imagine going through Parris Island with that last name ..... ouch!

U-ncle
S-ams
M-isguided
C-hildren
Oorah

 

[2Tours N Iraq`]

When I was in high school, my JROTC professor was COL Sanders.

 

[Squalus]

Ever seen a grown man fient? Show him an 18 guage needle attached to a syringe with GG in it and tell to drop'em.

 

[FreeFloat]

I learned a while ago to never eat lunch with the medic corps unless you have a stomach of iron. NO topic is off limits while they're happily chowing down.......

(PS I do have a strong stomach)

 

[O2BBubbleFree]

I learned a while ago to never eat lunch with the medic corps unless you have a stomach of iron. NO topic is off limits while they're happily chowing down.......

My wife and her best friend are nurses. Probably not as bad as the medics, but I know where you're coming from.

 

[Firebrand]

My mother is a nurse, and she proceded to tell us about her work day as we were all gathered around the dinner table. Nothing really bothers me when I'm eating now!

 

[O2BBubbleFree]

OK, I’m bored, so dug out the list I was referring to earlier:

Problem: Test Flight OK, but autoland very rough.
Solution: Autoland not installed on this aircraft.

Problem: Evidence of hydraulic leak on right main landing gear.
Solution: Evidence removed.

Problem: DME volume set to an unbelievable level.
Solution: Volume set to more believable level.

Problem: Dead bugs on windshield.
Solution: Live bugs on order.

Problem: Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent.
Solution: Cannot duplicate problem on ground.

Problem: IFF inoperative.
Solution: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.

Problem: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
Solution: That’s what they’re there for.

Problem: Number three engine missing
Solution: Number three engine found on right wing after brief search.

 

[Bob3]

Reminds me of the little thing I found inside a parachute container, it was labeled "Survival Kit, Minimal". It was a tiny leaflet showing how to make a tent out of the canopy & a couple other useless tricks, like weaving a gill net from the suspension lines.

 

[O2BBubbleFree]

... we ordered and received three new oscilloscopes. I'm sure the packing manual specified that desicant be included when packing all electronics, but the not-so-bright troop doing the packing must have been afraid that the desicant bag could rupture, so he put them in ziplock bags. I'm guessing that the air inside of those ziplock bags was really dry.

Fortunately, the 'scopes were fine.