Ah Haaa! No, I don't graze on all fours in the surf zone. It is all about the preparation. I saw your post before dinner, made me laugh.
Dinner:
A proper cut of Japanese top-grade tuna. The coating is the result of much fussing on my part. This is the "recipes" forum, so here goes:
Start with Mediterranean salted lemon, keeps about 4-6 months. Mine was getting a bit old but still bright yellow. Nothing but salt and lemon wedges kept under mucho salt. You throw the pulp and white rind away, only use the yellow (now super tender) outer skin and the salt itself.
Put fresh peppercorns and some of the carefully shaved, sticky, salty rinds into a -SOLID- mortar. My mortar is a cheap one from Thailand, very utilitarian and stupidly strong. Pound the hell out of it, grind, pound. Therapeutic. You will get a brown clumpy mass. Add a good pinch of cornstarch and stir with a soft spatula. You want to get to just where you have a nice powder that will pass through a common sieve. Sieve it as a coating onto a baking tray and roll your tuna investment in it. The cornstarch disappears. You can also keep the powder for quite a while, it is lemon pepper on steroids. It will clump, though. I found all this out for myself over time.
The white sauce is also my doing. Find any recipe for the procedure of making homemade mayonnaise, but use these ingredients:
1 large egg (USA) -that would be a medium in the UK...
1 tablespoon Dijon mustard. -don't substitute, it makes the emulsion stable -less work for you
3 teaspoons white distilled vinegar
1/4 teaspoon of salt from your Mediterranean salted lemon stash
1 cup of a neutral (tasteless) oil I use avocado, safflower is good too.
1 tablespoon Wasabi paste. (we all know that it is fake, but use it anyway)
Some fresh Thai basil leaves. Don't over do it. You want to taste basil, wasabi, and lemon.
Use an immersion blender in a cheap beer mug. No splash, no scraping the sides. Mind how fast you add the oil or the emulsion will break!
I like clean fresh flavors that let the main offering shine through.
The rice rolls are just sushi-grade rice from my rice cooker, off-the-shelf rice seasoning, and rehydrated giant kelp. Ten minutes to knock them out.
Seaweed is also a quick rip-off. A packet of SeaVegi, seven minutes in ice water then spin in a salad spinner.
The imitation crab sticks are there, because, well I like the taste. I think that they are pollock or something...
I was going to throw in a few nice slices of sushi-grade octopus for
@Ana's sake, but that would cause a thread meltdown.