Post Your Pretty Funny Stuff Here

[AlbertaDan]

Recently there was a study done by McMaster University. It was found that through surveying thousands of women that there were in fact four distinct orgasms that women have.

The first type is in the simplest terms the positive orgasm. It can be identified by a postive verbal response. Something along the lines of "Oh Yes, Oh Yes I'm...."

The second type is also in the simplest terms the negative orgasm. It can be identified by a negative verbal response. A verbal response of "Oh No, Oh No I'm..."

The third type is the religious orgasm. The verbal identifiers are something like, "Oh God, Oh God I'm..."

The fourth and final type was the fake orgasm. It can be identified by the verbal response, "Oh (parter's name)...

 

[NoDiver]

Man sitting at home on the verandah with his wife and he says, "I love you."
She asks, "Is that you or the beer talking?"

He replies, "It's me............. talking to the beer."

 

[Will_Evo]

Tons more like this

 

[ScubaTigress]

Sheesh it's quiet in here! Doesn't anyone have anything funny to say???

 

[pidgiepoo]

It was a small town and the patrolman was making his evening rounds..
As he was checking a used car lot, he came upon two little old ladies sitting in a car..
He stopped and asked them why they were sitting there in the car - were they trying to steal it?
'Heavens no, we bought it.'
'Then why don't you drive it away.'
We can't drive.'
Then why did you buy it?'
'We were told that if we bought a Used car here we'd get screwed ....so we're just waiting.

 

[sassyalice]

YouTube - Mrs. Brown's Sex Life - Mrs. Brown's Boys - BBC One

 

[sassyalice]

YouTube - Mrs Brown Gets A Bikini Wax

 

[pidgiepoo]

On the farm lived a chicken and a horse, both of whom loved to play together.

One day the two were playing, when the horse fell into a bog and began to sink.

Scared for his life, the horse whinnied for the chicken to go get the farmer for help! Off the chicken ran, back to the farm. Arriving at the farm, he searched and searched for the farmer, but to no avail, for he had gone to town with the only tractor.


Running around, the chicken spied the farmer's new Harley. Finding the keys in the ignition, the chicken sped off with a length of rope hoping he still had time to save his friend's life.

Back at the bog, the horse was surprised, but happy, to see the chicken arrive on the shiny Harley, and he managed to get a hold of the loop of rope the chicken tossed to him.

After tying the other end to the rear bumper of the farmer's bike, the chicken then drove slowly forward and, with the aid of the powerful bike, rescued the horse!


Happy and proud, the chicken rode the Harley back to the farmhouse, and the farmer was none the wiser when he returned.

The friendship between the two animals was cemented: Best Buddies, Best Pals.


A few weeks later, the chicken fell into a mud pit, and soon, he too, began to sink and cried out to the horse to save his life!

The horse thought a moment, walked over, and straddled the large puddle.

Looking underneath, he told the chicken to grab his hangy-down thingy and he would then lift him out of the pit.


The chicken got a good grip, and the horse pulled him up and out, saving his life.



The moral of the story? (yep, you betcha, there is a moral!)





'When You're Hung Like A Horse, You Don't Need A Harley To Pick Up Chicks!'

 

[pidgiepoo]

hum..wonder where JAX is hiding? thought she'd like my Harley joke ??????

 

[dmoore19]

A fifteen year old Amish boy and his father were in a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.





The boy asked, 'What is this Father?'
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, 'Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is.'





While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheel chair moved up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened, and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small numbers above the walls light up sequentially.





They continued to watch until it reached the last number… and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order.
Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24-year-old blond stepped out.









The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son.....

'Go get your Mother'

________________________________________