Should you instruct your own family member?

[fisherdvm]

Without mentioning name, and I would request that the mod delete any posts that mention names. A case was recently discussed about diving accident and family member training.



There is an unwritten rule, physicians should not treat their own family member. I've broken that rule a few times, but mostly for very minor problems.

In the same light, should a divemaster or instructor instruct his own family member to dive??

Physicians should not do so because we might forgo painful procedures, expensive diagnostics, and sometime do not like to gag our own children.... At the expense of a misdiagnosis.

In the same way, would a dive instructor miss important procedures, slight important skills, because he/she is teaching a family member?

Would it not be better to have a different instructor, teach with a different viewpoint, point out different aspects of diving, that you might not know or focus on. Eventually your family member will learn your style of diving and teaching, anyway, right?

I remember a case of 5 marines who were taught open water diving by a divemaster. One drowned in the group, as the divemaster swam back out to assist another... While this is not the same, but it points to the need to reflect on the training environment of new divers.

 

[MXGratefulDiver]

In the same light, should a divemaster or instructor instruct his own family member to dive??

With a few exceptions, the relationship tends to get in the way of the learning experience ... I would recommend referring a loved one to a different instructor.

... Bob (Grateful Diver)

 

[el ridgeo]

I think that is a question that can only be determined by the particular instructor & student.

 

[The Kraken]

I have mixed feelings.

Personally I refrain from working with a family member or close friend when subjective observations may cause friction.

If the subject matter is obective, then I look at it in a different light.

There are certain things in which I wouldn't want to even attempt to instruct my wife, but I did do her nitrox course with her.

Mathematical questions are right or wrong, can't argue with that, even if she's the wife (but they will anyway)

. . . as I dodge slings and arrows !!!!

the K-atastrophe Wating to Happen

 

[1amphibian]

I have found the opposite to be true in my case. I am a firearms instructor, and anytime I have found myself teaching a family member or close friend, I find that I am harder on them because I expect more out of them than some new recruit fresh from the academy.

I also found that I expected a more rapid progression in my kids when I taught them to snorkel last year. They are now where I thought they would be with their freediving almost a year ago.

Guess it's in your expectations for the person you are training.


Chris

 

[The Kraken]

1amp,

That's why I elect not to instruct family and close friends . . . I do expect more from them, and that's not fair, so I recuse myself from their instruction.

You sit down with a class and you pretty much expect a "tabula rasa" domain. But you know that of which your kids, wife, etc. are capable.

I, unfortunately, let that cloud my expectations. Something I need to work on.

the K

 

[fisherdvm]

I have found the opposite to be true in my case. I am a firearms instructor, and anytime I have found myself teaching a family member or close friend, I find that I am harder on them because I expect more out of them than some new recruit fresh from the academy.

I also found that I expected a more rapid progression in my kids when I taught them to snorkel last year. They are now where I thought they would be with their freediving almost a year ago.

Guess it's in your expectations for the person you are training.


Chris

I agree with you on this point. My 2 separate firearm instruction in the Army was not nearly as good as my family's own respect for firearm and safety.

In the sameway, I probably instructed my son in swimming better than his teachers did.

 

[Diving Doc]

The only family member I have trained is the wife and it will stay that way. It is extremely difficult to make yourself step back and be dispassionate when you do this. Rather than "make it easier" for her, I did find myself being a complete Scuba Nazi to her.

Luckily, she has the patience of a saint, but I do not think that is true of my children though!!

 

[scarefaceDM]

I too have mixed feeling about teaching your family

An event happended to me while I was DMing a course. Another group entered the water...without a DM present. Since our group had just finished the first part of the skills morning. I offered my serivces to lend a hand if needed. The Instructor said to me..and I quote.,," NO THANKS I THINK I CAN HANDLE MY WIFE AND KIDS. I been An instructor for several years and never needed a DM to help me"...OK I said and off I went. After my debrief with my instructor. I was about to get out of the water. Not one minute after I reached my gear area. I heard a call for help in the water..Looking up, still with my tank on fins in hand...I went back in the water to assist the persons cry for help...It was the wife of the instructor giving the course...She surface after her HUBBY/Instructor shoved her out of the way. As I asked her further what was going on down there with her two teenage kids...She replied "I do not know...my husband pushed me out of the way " she continued " I was doing a mask clearing and I was having a hard time with it."

By this time we are three in the water. MYself, my instructor and an other diver/swimmer. I went down to check on the INSTRUCTOR and his group to only find them gone. They had silted out the training area so a quick look around I surface to only find the INSTRUCTOR give crap to his wife . For not doing the mask clearing properly. As I put myself inbetween them to calm the irrate instructor and the crying mother..only to be told to mind my own business...we were trying to calm the INSTRUCTOR down...but he became very abusive verbally and was doing his best to shove me and my instructor out of the way to only verbally abuse his wife for not doing it right.

I do not tollerate premadonna instructors. If it would have been a paying customer I am sure or hope he would not have been so abusive. Having a family member seems to change some folks perspective on teaching.

So my advice...have someone else teach your family to dive...unless you can treat them as a client and not family...

My wife does not dive YET...I gave her a discover scuba. She will be doing the OW course with my DM instructor because of his very patient character. But once she is done with that...I will show her the way to the DARK side... and how not to flutter kick.

We seem to be harder on family members than customers.

Safe dives

 

[mikerault]

Having the scars from trying to teach my family members about computers, I hesitate to even think about teaching them scuba. There is too much emotional baggage. As has been said we expect too much form them and they do not respect us as teachers...this leads to many problems.

Mike