So what do you say if

[drbill]

My situation is different (51 years of diving with thousands of dives vs your 19). I think you are wise in recognizing you are not ready for solo, although you do indicate you have a calmer approach to situations that occur. The unfortunate thing is that in situations like you experienced, the rules usually require being buddied up (as you should be at this stage). Since it was a club activity I would suggest telling the other diver you want to experience a wider range of dive buddies to find someone whose skills and dive preferences are more in line with yours. Once you find a good buddy (or a few), stick with them.

Although I've dived solo since 1961-62, I'm not solo certified and have had to endure "instabuddies," some of whom were fantastic and others just awful. I try to use tact whenever I can if the buddy is someone I won't dive with again. No reason to offend someone unless, as Wookie suggests, you might need a heavy skillet to hammer home the point.

I also consider the instabuddy's state of mind. If an instabuddy touts how great a diver they are and turn out to be a train wreck, I won't dive with them again. If they are honest about their capabilities ahead of time, and have problems, I'm much more patient and may dive with them again.

A good example was back in 2001 when I was diving as Jean-Michel's guest at his Fiji resort. I was buddied up with a diver who openly stated he was not bound by the rules and would dive as he pleased. He kept descending until I found myself at 125 fsw trying to follow him. I finally looked up and motioned to the dive master to get him as I was returning to 80 fsw to rejoin the group. I told the DM I wouldn't dive with this cowboy again so they assigned me a different buddy. That diver acknowledged he was not very good on air consumption and our dive would be short. He was correct, but because he had been forthcoming I told him to stop apologizing after the dive as he had been open about his limitations and I accepted them when I chose to be his buddy.

 

[ladyfishdvr]

I have no intentions of diving with this particular club again. I am going to stick with the other club (IVS) I have been diving with. There were a few other things that happened that morning which did not sit well. I don't do catty, I don't do clicky and I really don't do rude. Combine those with the bad dive and I was done. It was an educational experience and I learned from it.

 

[OkByMe]

After the guy took off the second time... that diver would have been on his own. I spent my money, using my time and consider my safety when diving. I am not going to chase after someone who cuts a trail without looking back. The generality of the dive should be discussed before entry. If they want to see something or go somewhere outside the general dive plan, it is their responsibility to communicate that to me. IF I choose not to follow, I'll let them know. If they take off without looking back and get too far away, I may even use my dive alert honker - as much as I hate to, since that usually starts IT up. If they keep going and I lose sight of them, I am not going to terminate my dive because someone cannot make a responsible decision, or have the skills needed to dive. I am not going to go bobbing back and forth between the surface and the planned depth to look for the diver ether. If there is a dive master - leader - guide, I'll let them know my "buddy" cut a trail and I'll hang in that general area where everyone else is going.

 

[mmcdanie]

I enjoy pointing out faults in others, I believe it helps them, so I would have just told him all the stuff he did wrong and watch the fireworks.

 

[Dive Wananavu Fiji]

Worst bad buddy pairing experience I had was while diving in PacNW off a charter boat. No in-water DM, I was paired with an "Adv. Diver." I was diving doubles getting in-water time on them before my tech training and my "buddy" didn't know how to deflate his BCD underwater, lost control of his buoyancy and grabbed my tank manifold to try and control his assent. Then he wanted to breath off my alt when he was down to 500psi after 20 or so minutes. He was shocked when I told him to surface. On the boat he explained I should have shared because I had two tanks and since he only had one it was not fair of me to tell him no because he wanted to stay down longer... PITA. I asked for a new buddy for the second dive.

 

[fnfalman]

I'd say, "Me no speekee engrish. So solly."

Then walk off and find a different buddy or call it a day.

 

[SeaCobra]

Hey there ladyfishdvr,
I was right next to your group on Sunday, I was the madman running up and down the hill doing surface support for the Hollis Prism2 rebreather demo's. When I have events like yours I use the "Columbo" approach to open up the lines of communication. Something akin to 'gee, I always do a 5 minute safety stop, but you went to the surface, is that what you did in your class?' Of course keep a smile on and a non-accusatory tone (which can be a challenge) . I try to use open-ended questions to get the other person thinking and talking. Sometimes the discovery learning process kicks in, others you realize this person is not worth my time and going to dive with more fun people.

Enjoy your dives, I am up at Dutch quite often, if I can help in anyway, let me know.

 

[ladyfishdvr]

The whole thing kind of gave me the normal anxiety after things calm down. I have gone over this a bunch of times in my head and I think I did the best I could have done considering my experience. I think I just need to get a few normal dives in. I will take all of this advice into consideration when I instabuddy again. Next time I am looking for a buddy for Dutch, I have a few more options now.