Things that make you go hmmm ...

[Belushi]

1) Why do they have frosted glass in the toilet windows of Concorde? Who is going to see you take a pee at 60000 ft travelling at Mach 2?

2) Why do we drive on a parkway, but park on a driveway?

3)If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

4) What hair color do they put on the drivers license of a bald man?

5)Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?

6)If a firefighter fights fire and a crime fighter fights crime, what does a freedom fighter fight?

7)When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?

8)Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

Just a little thought to pass the days

 

[The Chairman]

1) Superman IS a peeping Clarke... er Tom...
2) You have that backwards, we park on a driveway and then drive on a parkway.
3) But you digress...
4) Why would they color a license like a bald man's hair?
5) 'Cause my son can't drive himself to the liquor store yet.
6) Posts like this one.
7) I don't eat dogs...
8) Hold on, that's a good question! Let me ask my warden...

You forgot #9

Why do some bozos seem to feel that they actually have to answer esoteric questions such as these???

:tease:

 

[ckharlan66]

Have you been reading George Carlin?

Chad

 

[Kane(adian)]

1. Actually two reasons: a) the birds, b) someone without an aisle seat will decide they want a window seat, and won't give it up.

2. I park in the garage, so I do drive on the driveway, I don't drive in the park though, too many people there.

3. that is up to interpretation.

4. the color of his leg hair, or in major metropolitan centers they have 'hair dice' it is a standard die, covered with hair. Someone simply rolls the dice and you end up with your hair color, for interests sake, you have a 1 in 6 chance of getting 'purple' on your drivers license.

5. Netdoc answered that one already.

6. Freedom fighters fight prize fighters, for jelly beans.

7. Ever hear of 'fast-food'?

8. For the dramatic last minute call from the governor, the movie always ends that way.

9. Sterilizing the convict would take too long.

 

[plongere]

Why do they have interstate highways in Hawaii?

 

[Hocky]

Hi All

Someone just asked what branch of the Army I was in...I said Army Intelligence.....and he said "thats an oxymoron".

He may well be right, I have no idea what an oxymoron is, so I just smiled.

Hocky

Only kidding

 

[Fishkiller]

25 Phrases Of Wisdom...

If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out.


Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.


Going to church doesn't make you religios any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic.


Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.


If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.


My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.


Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.


It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.


For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.


If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.


Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.


A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.


Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.


Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.


No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.


A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.


Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.


Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.


Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.


There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.


Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.


By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.


Thou shall not weigh more than thy refrigerator.


Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.


Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.

 

[ONESPEED]