Top 10 Dog Pet Peeves About Humans

[JeffG]

(Note: Being the owner of two Siberian Huskys, I know these are true)


1. Blaming your farts on me...not funny...not funny!!

2. Yelling at me for barking... I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG YOU IDIOT!!

3. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly who's walk is this anyway?

4. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose...stop it.

5. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you're not home.

6. The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog! What a proud moment for the top of the food chain, you nitwit.

7. Taking me to the vet for "the big snip", then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back.

8. Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet.

9. How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know the truth, you're just jealous.

10. Dog sweaters. Have you noticed the fur? Imbecile.


Have a good Monday

 

[mexman]

I'll see if my dog laughs tonight!

Hey, I thought it was funny!

 

[scubaleg]

From another perspective, here's a few thoughts from a dog lover who doesn't put bows/ribbons or sweaters on their dog....

NOTICE TO PEOPLE WHO VISIT MY HOME

1. The dog lives here...you don't.

2. If you don't want dog hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.

3. Yes, he has some disgusting habits. So do I and so do you. What's your point?

4. OF COURSE he smells like a dog.

5. It's his nature to try to sniff your crotch. Please feel free to sniff his.

6. I like him a lot better than I like most people.

7. To you, he's a dog. To me, he's an adopted child who is short,
hairy, walks on all fours, doesn't speak clearly and tolerates
eating on the floor. I have no problem with any of these things.

8. Dogs are better than kids: they eat less, don't ask for money all
the time, are easier to train, mostly come when they are called,
never drive your car or talk back, don't hang out with drug-using friends, don't smoke or drink, don't worry about whether or not they have the latest fashions, don't wear your clothes, don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and, if they accidently get pregnant...
you can
sell the pups.

 

[Jersey]

All of these are so true!!


DOG PROPERTY LAWS
1. If I like it, it's mine.
2. If it's in my mouth, it's mine.
3. If I can take it from you, it's mine.
4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.
5. If it's mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way.
6. If I'm chewing something up, all the pieces are mine.
7. If it just looks like mine, it's mine.
8. If I saw it first, it's mine.
9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it
automatically becomes mine.
10. If it's broken, it's yours.

 

[Ghostdiver]

These are some excellent posts.
This one has been around for a while, but it's still funny.

How Many Dogs Does It Take To Change A Light Bulb?
Afghan: Light bulb? What light bulb?
Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned-out light bulb?
Border Collie: Just one. And he'll rewire the house while he's at it.
Italian Greyhound: I can't reach the stupid lamp!
Poodle: Sorry, just had my nails done.
Lab: Oh, me, me!!! Pleeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I?
Malamute: Let him do it, you can pet me while he's busy.
Springer: Light bulb? Light bulb? That thing I just ate was a light bulb?
Shiba-Inu: Zero! Shibas aren't afraid of the dark!
Collie: No, don't change it. If it's dark, maybe no one will see me sleeping on the couch.
Cocker: Why change it. It isn't hurting anyone and I am just as loving in the dark.
Chinese Crested: I can put it in, I can jump and spin !!!!



One pet peeve my dog has is when I take her diving. Since she can't maintain her own buoyancy, I need a way to keep her neutral. So I took O-Ring's suggestion and now I clip her off to my harness D-Rings like a stage bottle. She doesn't like that much, but it's easier for me.