+1 on the advice to seek some professional counseling. As someone who did volunteer search and rescue for 10+ years any time we had a death the entire search team was immediately scheduled for group and, if necessary, individual counseling sessions. No ifs ands or buts about it. If you didn't attend the counseling sessions you were no longer permitted to participate in searches. SCUBA, unfortunately, has no such policy but I have talked with a couple folks about trying to institute such procedures at local shops and get a "consortium" together. The problem is that would mean agencies and shops would have to acknowledge the true dangers SCUBA poses to us, the divers.
OP, please seek some counseling, sort through your anxiety in your own time, and, if necessary, don't dive. There's no reason that you have to quit diving unless it's the right choice for you but there's also no reason you have to continue diving if it's the right choice you don't. Pushing either outcome is just going to make you a statistic without cause. Gradually working your way through to either outcome is the right way to do it.
OP, please seek some counseling, sort through your anxiety in your own time, and, if necessary, don't dive. There's no reason that you have to quit diving unless it's the right choice for you but there's also no reason you have to continue diving if it's the right choice you don't. Pushing either outcome is just going to make you a statistic without cause. Gradually working your way through to either outcome is the right way to do it.
