SaltH20diver
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Does this tank make my ass look big?
Funniest Diving quotes you have heard
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[-]No your fat ass makes your ass look big.[/-]
Nah! I shouldn't say that.
Nah! I shouldn't say that.
SCUBA stands for "Some come up barely alive".
Pearldiver07
Contributor
OK - An instructor came back to us after the class and told us this...
A student insisted that it was physically impossible to remove/clear a mask underwater.
He pointed out that thousands, if not millions, have already done it. Besides, she just saw the rest of the class perform the skill.
To this, she replied that it did amaze her. As she again confirmed the skills requirements. "You mean when we put on the mask we then inhale into our mouth from the reg and then blow it into the mask through your nose?"
He confirmed to her that is how it is done.
To which she said that it was impossible. Because when you inhale, the mouth fills up one lung and the nose fills up the other. How is the air going to get to the other side?
He said he just stood there, trying to figure out if she was serious or a very good joker. Sadly, it was the former.
A short physiology lesson closed the problem.
A student insisted that it was physically impossible to remove/clear a mask underwater.
He pointed out that thousands, if not millions, have already done it. Besides, she just saw the rest of the class perform the skill.
To this, she replied that it did amaze her. As she again confirmed the skills requirements. "You mean when we put on the mask we then inhale into our mouth from the reg and then blow it into the mask through your nose?"
He confirmed to her that is how it is done.
To which she said that it was impossible. Because when you inhale, the mouth fills up one lung and the nose fills up the other. How is the air going to get to the other side?
He said he just stood there, trying to figure out if she was serious or a very good joker. Sadly, it was the former.
A short physiology lesson closed the problem.
Wow. How does one ever reach that conclusion? It's something you could test in a single breath standing right there.
I hope she never has children...
My husband would say..... "It's not the TANK that makes your ass look big."
Pearldiver that's the funniest one yet....
In honor of dumb stuff that people believe, I have to tell this.
A couple of years ago after church we asked our kids where they wanted to go for lunch and they said Hooters (yes I get the irony). The Hooters near us is on a small creek and after we had finished eating the kids asked to go look at the water.
Our waitress... (who was qualified to work there!) over hears them and asks.."Would they like some crackers to feed the oysters?" I just sat there, and looked at her, confused, and then politely said "yes???".
I look at my husband and ask.."did she just say crackers to feed the OYSTERS?" He validated that my hearing was not failing. I think she MUST have meant "oyster crackers" to feed the FISH.
She comes back to the table with several packages of Oyster crackers and begins to explain to us that these are SPECIAL crackers for feeding the Oysters. That there is an oyster bed at the end of the dock and you crumble up the crackers and feed them... OK? (Imagine cute tilt of head here)
If I hadn't been so shocked I might have asked her if they detatch from the bed and come up to the surface to snap at the food. However, I just sat there with a stunned look on my face, realizing that this is why drunks should not be allowed "teach" Hooters waitresses anything.
We still joke about the Oyster crackers being "special food" for oysters every time we have them now.
In honor of dumb stuff that people believe, I have to tell this.
A couple of years ago after church we asked our kids where they wanted to go for lunch and they said Hooters (yes I get the irony). The Hooters near us is on a small creek and after we had finished eating the kids asked to go look at the water.
Our waitress... (who was qualified to work there!) over hears them and asks.."Would they like some crackers to feed the oysters?" I just sat there, and looked at her, confused, and then politely said "yes???".
I look at my husband and ask.."did she just say crackers to feed the OYSTERS?" He validated that my hearing was not failing. I think she MUST have meant "oyster crackers" to feed the FISH.
She comes back to the table with several packages of Oyster crackers and begins to explain to us that these are SPECIAL crackers for feeding the Oysters. That there is an oyster bed at the end of the dock and you crumble up the crackers and feed them... OK? (Imagine cute tilt of head here)
If I hadn't been so shocked I might have asked her if they detatch from the bed and come up to the surface to snap at the food. However, I just sat there with a stunned look on my face, realizing that this is why drunks should not be allowed "teach" Hooters waitresses anything.
We still joke about the Oyster crackers being "special food" for oysters every time we have them now.
birdwrasse
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on the subject of regulator retreival: students states they are not limber enough for regulator recovery... instructor: "if you are not going to do a "lean-and sweep" or "reaching back", are you planning to use "the force."
Not me, fella! Im NOT jumping out of a plane!
Youre right. It wont make any difference. The airplane is pressurized to 5 to 8 thousand feet, depending upon model, altitude, etc. Thats not much of a change in air pressure from sea level.:14:
Now, as I get into the theory behind rebreathers, I realize those rat b@stard rebreather guys can sit there chugging EAN96 for 20 minutes or so on the boat before the dive! Thatll blow off some nitrogen! Talk about extending your NDLs!
And, get this!, the amount of gas they go through ISNT affected by depth! The oxygen metabolized by the body is the same at sea level as it is at 300 feet!:11:
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