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Funniest Diving quotes you have heard

Discussion in 'Basic Scuba Discussions' started by idratherbedivin, Apr 8, 2008.

  1. idratherbedivin

    idratherbedivin Divemaster

    # of Dives: 200 - 499
    Location: Washington, DC
    I just thought I would share a funny dive quote i heard on the boat last weekend when i was diving and wanted to see some other funny/stupid comments they have heard on scuba boats.

    This advanced open water diver surfaces from his second 100+ foot dive of the day and says, "These new dive computers sucks, they put me into deco when I still had 1500 psi."

    Luckily we found out he came out of deco as he surfaced but we couldnt believe a AOW diver didn't know the reason behind deco or even what deco mode was on a computer! He had too sit out the final dive.
  2. Hammerhead

    Hammerhead Solo Diver

    # of Dives:
    Location: Teetering
    Not diving, but at a dive resort in the Philippines with a very laid-back Aussie owner.

    Referring to toilet etiquette and the scarcity of freshwater for flushing the end-result away, he advised me from the comfort of his hammock "If it's yellow, let it mellow; if it's brown, send it down".

    Pure poetry.
  3. IceBergSlim

    IceBergSlim Instructor, Scuba

    "Stay close to someone with a computer so you know how much air you have"

    -A Course Director to his wife (who was diving without an spg)
  4. Zambezi

    Zambezi Nassau Grouper

    # of Dives: 100 - 199
    Location: Johannesburg - South Africa
    In South Africa the standard is to surface when reaching 50 bar (not sure how much that is in PSI). Bear in mind this is drummed into us during training.

    During a dive briefing the DM says on 50 bar we surface which is a normal part of the briefing. A friend of mine's wife asks "Do we surface on 50 bar of 15 bar". The dagger looks she got from other divers were brilliant. Needless to say I tried hard to appear that I didn't know them:D
  5. almitywife

    almitywife Vegemite Mod

    # of Dives: I just don't log dives
    Location: Sydney, Australia
    and the problem with laid backed aussies is??? :D

    hubby has a tshirt somewhere with the quote "remember when scuba diving was dangerous and having sex was fun??" or something like that
    soltari675, Bravecat and farsidefan1 like this.
  6. hgroberts

    hgroberts Solo Diver

    Pee in your mask, spit in your wet suit.
    261311, Bravecat, Moken and 1 other person like this.
  7. MaxBottomtime

    MaxBottomtime Divemaster

    # of Dives: 1,000 - 2,499
    Location: Torrance, CA
    When I worked at a shop I had a customer ask how a dive computer can read the nitrogen in your blood through a wetsuit.
  8. tstormdiver

    tstormdiver Instructor, Scuba

    # of Dives: 2,500 - 4,999
    Location: Kentucky
  9. Gambitt

    Gambitt Angel Fish

    # of Dives: 100 - 199
    Location: Cobourg, ON Canada
    " I don't need fins, it makes it too hard to walk on the coral"
    gizmo1972, cnar, ChristL and 2 others like this.
  10. offthewall1

    offthewall1 Instructor, Scuba

    # of Dives: 2,500 - 4,999
    Location: Baltimore, MD
    On a dreary rainy day... as I made my way down to the boat

    "Diving is cancelled today... if we go we're going to all get wet."

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