I'm really bummed out.

[Eric Sedletzky]

When I first started diving and was going through all my classes I took a rescue class with a guy named Larry Cook.
We became really good friends and long time dive buddies. He was there when I launched and did my first dives off my home built boat.
We explored the Delgada trench together up in Humboldt County California, a deep scary dive into an abyss.
He was a strong diver, a type A personality (sometimes to his detriment).
Never the less he was my best buddy for years.
We had so many good dives I can't even remember them all.
We dove Monterey, we dove all over Sonoma County, Mendocino County, Channel Islands.

He had long term back problems though and as a result his diving suffered. He was on a lot of pain medication and slowly began into a downward spiral.
He ended up getting divorced from his wife who is a nurse. He left her not the other way around.
That made him even more reclusive.
I saw many symptoms of depression creeping into his life.
I would try and get him to go diving and do stuff to get his mind off it.
I would have him over for dinner and tried everything I knew to talk to him and turn him around, but to no avail.
He was his own worst enemy.
He went through a horrendous mid life crisis, the worst I've ever seen anybody have.
After a while he isolated himself and nobody could get a hold of him.
He stopped returning phone calls. I eventually drove by his house because I was worried and found out he sold it and split. There were new people living there.

A few weeks later I ran into a guy who worked for the same company that Larry did that he ended up selling everything he owned and moving back to Santa Cruz. I was told that he hooked up with a few of his old high school acid buddies from back in the 60's who were still living that life style and was going to live with them.
He said that Larry had completely gone off his rocker towards the end and finally just quit showing up to work.
All this was probably 5 years ago now.


I was in the dive shop last Wednesday getting fills and the owner had told me that Larry's ex wife had called and wanted them to tell me the next time they saw me that Larry had committed suicide.

So anyway, I'm trying to deal with it.
He even jokingly told me one time when we were on our way out to go diving that he had no retirement, he was just about junk at working (as an HVAC tech), and his exit strategy was to put a pill in his head.
We laughed it off then, but I guess he really meant it.

Take care buddy, I'll miss you.

 

[tanksforthememories]

I'm sorry to hear of your friend's decision to end his life. Depression is a terrible thing.

 

[clownfishsydney]

Sad that this happened, but happy that you were truthful enough to tell the correct story.

 

[Cowboyfisherman's Mom]

Yes, thank you for telling the truth. I never understand people who try to sanitize addiction problems. My FIL went the same way long before I met my hubby. Hubby always told me that he drank himself to death. He was a mean, abusive drunk. His wife and other son become irate if anyone even mentions his drinking playing a part of his demise. Addiction and depression are terrible diseases that ravage our society. Not only the damage they inflict on themselves, but the damage that they inflict on anyone near them. It surprises me that acid is making such a comeback. Guess everything old is new again.

The ironic thing is that my brother died at 52 from a pulmonary embolism. He was still living the life. It is amazing the number of people who think we are just being "polite" and not saying he overdosed. That is why I put out the $3500 for an autopsy. I wanted answers of how he could die in a matter of hours.

 

[Eric Sedletzky]

The part that sucks is that you really can't help someone who doesn't want help.
He seemed like he was on a march to self destruction, almost with pride.
All he would have had to do was stay put, his wife loved him and would have been able to handle the bills. They had a nice house. He could have gone on light duty and still been able to pull some income and remain working.
But mental illness has a way of wrecking everything.
He told me about some of the crazy drug things he did in his early years.
Funny part is that you never know it first meeting the guy. He seemed as straight laced as a barber.

 

[Davidccs]

Hang in there man, everything will be alright. at least you know you tried to help him but he just didn't want help

Sent from my PG86100 using Tapatalk 4 Beta

 

[ScubaPink]

Very sorry this experience has come so close to you in life. I get the impression you are young. (maybe you aren't I just get that impression) Anyway, as someone who has experienced this twice in my immediate family I can tell you that you must understand that some people, no matter how great they are, will never realize their full potential and will let life defeat them rather than enrich them. You can never know who is capable of this because they are either master's at hiding it, or they threaten this in joking or matter of fact ways, (which he did with you) and they also slowly spiral down and never gain footing- you see it coming but if they do not want to save themselves no one can. (which it sounds like also happened with he and you) The take away is to remember the good things about him and the experiences that you shared (which you are doing) and let this help you grow in your never-ending quest to understand life and all of its mysteries. He helped you grow as a diver and you had good times, you enriched his life, as he did yours. The yarn unravels, and knots, and unravels and knots, infinity....

 

[Eric Sedletzky]

Very sorry this experience has come so close to you in life. I get the impression you are young. (maybe you aren't I just get that impression) Anyway, as someone who has experienced this twice in my immediate family I can tell you that you must understand that some people, no matter how great they are, will never realize their full potential and will let life defeat them rather than enrich them. You can never know who is capable of this because they are either master's at hiding it, or they threaten this in joking or matter of fact ways, (which he did with you) and they also slowly spiral down and never gain footing- you see it coming but if they do not want to save themselves no one can. (which it sounds like also happened with he and you) The take away is to remember the good things about him and the experiences that you shared (which you are doing) and let this help you grow in your never-ending quest to understand life and all of its mysteries. He helped you grow as a diver and you had good times, you enriched his life, as he did yours. The yarn unravels, and knots, and unravels and knots, infinity....

I'm not that young (50), Larry had 10 years on me.
I met him and we started diving when I was 37.

I know a guy who died a 42 from an inoperable brain tumor. It was a 6 month ordeal of him losing mobility, wheelchair, losing speech, couldn't lift his arms, couldn't eat, etc. from the time of diagnosis until his death. He would have literally given his right arm to live. Yes, If somebody told him he could trade his arm for his life by having it surgically removed he wouldn't have even blinked, it would have been done.
He would have found a way to get by with one arm. Thousands of people do every day.
And he would have been happy about it.

Then there are those that are relatively healthy but have so little self respect and self worth that they just throw their lives in the trash.

It's just the way it is.

 

[Adam Grose]

So sorry to hear about your friend. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Adam

 

[Darol]

Sorry to hear about your friend.....

Eric said:

Then there are those that are relatively healthy but have so little self respect and self worth that they just throw their lives in the trash.

You never know another man's demons.
A well-known speaker started off his seminar holding up a $20.00 bill. In the room of 200, he asked, "Who would like this $20 bill?" Hands started going up. He ...said, "I am going to give this $20 to one of you but first, let me do this."

He proceeded to crumple up the $20 dollar bill. He then asked, "Who still wants it...?" Still the hands were up in the air. "Well," he replied, "What if I do this?" And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty. "Now, who still wants it?" Still the hands went into the air.

"My friends, we have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $20. Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. We may feel as though we are worthless. But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value.

Dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased, you are still priceless.

Count your blessings, not your problems.