Funniest Diving quotes you have heard

[Dragon Eye]

Oh that on is right up er... down there with one I got asked

"Can you grab my beaver" Reference to the crotch strap on a wetsuit

I am a lady and so was she so but I guess asking a man

Both ladies in my case..... her poor hands were so frozen she couldn't get out! Hurray for back zip!

 

[Dragon Eye]

Like these?

Oh Yeah

 

[Blowin' Bubbles]

Diver: "I was supposed to do a 17 minute safety stop, but I didn't feel like doing it, so I didn't"
Me: "Did you dive again?"
Diver: "Yeah, then I switched tanks and went down to 70 feet for 45 minutes."
Me: "Please tell me you did a safety stop."
Diver: "No, I didn't have enough air left. Do you think I have a DCI because I don't feel well."
Me: "Without a doubt."

She ended up with a major DCI.

 

[Blowin' Bubbles]

A dive buddy put his fins on, then took them off and put them back on again. When I asked why he told me he had put the left fin on the right foot and vice versa--I was concerned.

 

[bowlofpetunias]

Diver: "I was supposed to do a 17 minute safety stop, but I didn't feel like doing it, so I didn't"
Me: "Did you dive again?"
Diver: "Yeah, then I switched tanks and went down to 70 feet for 45 minutes."
Me: "Please tell me you did a safety stop."
Diver: "No, I didn't have enough air left. Do you think I have a DCI because I don't feel well."
Me: "Without a doubt."

She ended up with a major DCI.

 

[mikemill]

A dive buddy put his fins on, then took them off and put them back on again. When I asked why he told me he had put the left fin on the right foot and vice versa--I was concerned.

As funny as it sounds I've done the same thing for the same reason. With my wetsuit booties my fins do feel differently on each foot. Some days were more noticeable than others but they certainly did have a L/R feel to them.

 

[bowlofpetunias]

I don't know about that but I dived with two right foot boots one dive. I threw in one of my boots and one of my hubbie's but didn't want to miss the dive... I was on the righ foot the whole dive!

 

[Deefstes]

I don't know about that but I dived with two right foot boots one dive. I threw in one of my boots and one of my hubbie's but didn't want to miss the dive... I was on the righ foot the whole dive!

And did you notice that you saw the same school of fish over and over? You were probably swimming in circles.

 

[rainynight65]

I love Capt Bob and crew... this story is one of his so if I screw it up he can call me on it...

I found his website and can't stop reading. His stories are funny, but deeply thought-provoking and, for me as a fresh diver, certainly a guideline on what not to do

 

[Seadog_Malta]

Heard this from a LDS owner..

Customer: This computer you sold me is not good

Owner: What's the problem?

Customer: It keeps beeping all the time..

Owner glanced at the unit and asks.. : how do you feel after diving?

Customer: I feel tired and sometimes I feel like a snake running through my body!

Owner gives the guy his money back and sends him off.