Bad dive buddy rant

[Dr. Lecter]

On the one hand, avoiding upsetting the kind of busybody your first post makes you out to be is one of the reasons I tell my instabuddies that they probably won't see me (and definitely shouldn't follow me) during the dive. If they have a problem with that, alternative arrangements can be made topside.

On the other hand, what exactly does her "going wherever she wanted" have to do with her showing no "regard for the other divers"? As the inverse of what I do, if you felt like you had to keep everyone in sight at all times and felt it was your duty to chase after them in order to do that, it falls on you to make that unusual expectation clear upfront.

In sum, this sounds more like a rant by a bad dive buddy than a bad dive buddy rant.

 

[pocky21]

If she was an instructor then she should know to stay close to the group and not create a possible lost diver scenario and should not have been going off on her own at all but sticking with her buddy. Fundamentals and good dive practices

Yes and no. If the instructor is guiding, leading, teaching, etc... then I wholeheartedly agree with you. Buddy awareness and communication is essential to good diving when you have a buddy. If not, then it's fair game for one to do as they please (and suffer any consequences).

Like Lecter, I often do things during a dive where I do not need, nor want, someone to follow me. Sometimes this comes with a discussion about what the risks are, why I'm taking them, and thus why I want to do it alone. Other times, it's much easier just to say "if I don't come back, tell the recovery team to start looking right around here."

 

[Herb-alaska]

Just a couple of points I noted. One you said could see her bubbles way off second she was aware enough of the group to know a diver lost his weight bag and then she was able to find the weight bag so she was diving the same area. It sounds to me like her level of comfort of being away for the group is higher than the OP and that she knew that if she had an issue she could get to a buddy for assistance. The more concerned the diver is the tighter we stay to our group, but here no one except for the woman was outside the groups inner circle.

The only failure I see is on the communication. Had you told me after the first dive that you want me to stay with in a fin kick I would have said " don't worry about me I'll solo" I am sure she was more than comfortable just having a good time and dealing with herself.

 

[pocky21]

FYI guys - looks like she deleted everything off her account and headed for the hills shortly after this thread went up.

I guess we're a tough crowd...

 

[Bob DBF]

First, don't expect a lot out of an instabuddy or any first dive with another, and you will never be disappointed.

Second, discuss what you want to get out of the dive and how you approach the dive, and listen to the new buddy and what he wants.

After the dive, go over any issues and if they can't be resolved move on to another buddy. People approach diving, and dive, differently so don't expect a match every time. Just because you don't get along diving does not necessarly mean that either party is a bad diver, or person. If you do have to keep moving through buddies it might not be them.

And last, but not least, life is to short to carry the problem any further than the next dive.




Bob
------------------
I may be old, but I'm not dead yet.

 

[Foxfish]

It is not entirely clear how far away she was from you during the dive but it was evidently enough to make you uncomfortable. If she wanted to do her own thing then she should have just gone solo. If she didn't want to do that or didn't have the equipment she needed to buddy dive and should have behaved accordingly.

You didn't want the hassle and worry of having a blow in diver failing to comply with normal buddy protocol. I'd want the same. If something goes wrong you will feel at least a degree of responsibility and could be legally liable.

You were clearly the group leader. She was the guest in your group and should have been more respectful of normal buddy protocols.

You needed to speak with her after the first dive and clearly spell out your expectations. If she refused to comply, you would tell her to go away and find another group.

 

[ferris213]

I guess we're a tough crowd...

I'd say that's an understatement. If there really was no communication of expectations before the dive then yes it is a fault of all divers, however, if I turn up to a boat with no buddy hoping to attach myself to another group I make it my business to learn how they want to conduct the dive and follow their plan. If I'm not happy with what they want to do then it's time to find a new group.

Saying it's the OPs fault seems harsh when in my opinion the onus is on the single diver to fit into the group they want to join.

 

[fjpatrum]

I'd say that's an understatement. If there really was no communication of expectations before the dive then yes it is a fault of all divers, however, if I turn up to a boat with no buddy hoping to attach myself to another group I make it my business to learn how they want to conduct the dive and follow their plan. If I'm not happy with what they want to do then it's time to find a new group.

Saying it's the OPs fault seems harsh when in my opinion the onus is on the single diver to fit into the group they want to join.

The onus is on both parties to affect a plan they can both agree to, not one (either one) to adapt to the other's expectations.

As someone who predominantly dives with insta-buddies, it's not a hard process to say, "hey what's your plan/expectation of the dive and your buddy, here's what I'm thinking."

 

[debohra]

If she were just a diver I would agree but she is an instructor and as such should be leading by example even though she wasn't leading the dive, all professional divers are accountable at all times, the problem isn't so much her getting into trouble but a less qualified diver that might not be able handle an incident that she could of prevented had she been closer to them, fortunately this doesn't seem to have happened. As for solo diving that is a padi no no anyway.


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[razorbackdiver]

The first question I ask a new buddy is "What kind of buddies do they want to be. Same ocean same day buddies or real dive buddies. I'm good either way." I dive redundant, but still want to know how they are gonna act. By the way I prefer real dive buddies.