How To Survive A Shark Attack

[Mako Mark]

1: Don't swim in the ocean.

Ninety-nine percent of all shark attacks take place in exceptionally
large bodies of water also known as oceans. The way to determine if you
are currently in an ocean is to taste the water, which should be salty.

(Exception: the Dead Sea.)



2: Listen out for the music.

In the event that you are foolish enough to recreate in

an ocean, listen carefully for the music, as demonstrated

in the marvelous documentary film ?Jaws.? All shark attacks

are preceded by the ?daah-da, daah-da? chords,which will gradually
become more rapid as the shark gets closer. This is due to the doppler
effect.



3: Swim with fat people.

Try to surround yourself with more appetizing companions.

If you know them well, you might even try to switch their suntan lotion
with A-1 Steak Sauce. This will definitely improve your odds.



4: Don't panic.

In the event that a shark actually bites you, try to

remain calm. This really won't help you survive, but

everyone else on the beach will appreciate you not

shrieking madly, as this is quite unsettling.

 

[opiniongirl]

what you can do if your actually inside the shark?

any tips would be appreciated....

LOL

 

[wstein]

And remember, you don't have to be the fastest swimmer in your group when attacked by sharks. You just have to faster then the slowest swimmer!

 

[Monkey Knife-fight]

In the event of a shark attack calmly take out your dive knife, wait for the shark to come around, stab your buddy, and swim away.

Problem solved.

 

[pennypue]

In the event of a shark attack calmly take out your dive knife, wait for the shark to come around, stab your buddy, and swim away.

Problem solved.

Note to self: buy dive knife. NEVER dive with Monkey Knife-fight.

 

[ShakaZulu]

Nice Mark, like that one..........

 

[bottom_sucker]

Easy....
Swim around until you're all pooped out!!!!!

 

[Kayla]

LOL that was good!

 

[sb_diver]

LOL nice

 

[baltimoron]

hahaha nice.