A geography lesson...

[The Chairman]

A little bit of geography...


You live in California when . . .

You make over $250,000 a year and you still can't afford to buy a house.

The high school quarterback calls a time-out to answer his cell phone.

The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.

You know how to eat an artichoke.

You drive to your neighborhood block party.

When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.



You live in New York City when . . .

You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.

You have never been to the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State
Building.

You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.

You think Central Park is "nature."

You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.

You've worn out a car horn.

You think eye contact is an act of aggression.



You live in Alaska when . . .

You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup and Tabasco.

Halloween costumes fit over parkas.

You have more than one recipe for moose.

Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.

The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction.



You live in the South when . . .

You get a movie and bait in the same store.

"ya'll" is singular and "all ya'll" is plural.

After a year of living in the same place you still hear, "You ain't from 'round here, are ya?"

"He needed killin' " is a valid defense.

Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Fay Nell


You live in Colorado when . . .

You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.

You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and he stops at the day care center.

A pass does not involve a football or dating.

The top! of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.



You live in the Midwest when . . .

You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.

Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.

You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.

You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?"

When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was different."
:tease:

 

[NINman]

That brighten up my day, but I have a complaint!!!

I live in New York and I don't fit those descriptions at all.

Of Course when I go to the city (NYC) I am a tourest more then a local..... :boom:

 

[The Chairman]

correct!

 

[-=>Larry<=-]

As a Californian transplant to Texas [only 12 years ago] I can happily claim nearly all of both!

 

[scuba-sass]

Gronola - I Love It!

Thanks for the hearty Guffaw!

Happy Diving,
Scuba-sass

 

[Dee]

A little more geologically specific....

YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM HOUSTON IF WHEN....

The "farm-to-market" roads have seven lanes.

You have to turn on the air conditioning in January, two days after a low of 29 degrees.

Everybody has a story of the Flying Roach the size of the Taco Bell Chihuahua.

When you see your neighbor dancing around the front yard, you don't think he's won the Publisher's Clearing House Sweepstakes; you know that he just stepped in a fire ant bed.

You're on your way to work one FEBRUARY morning and suddenly you're trapped in a traffic jam caused by a chuck wagon and fifty horses - with riders - and you look around to see that everybody in the trucks around you is wearing a cowboy hat....it's RODEO TIME!

The name "Bud Adams" makes people snarl, and "Bum Phillips" doesn't mean bad screwdriver.

"Luv ya Blue" still makes you smile, even if you did run the Oilers out of town.

You know that the Astrodome will always be the Eighth Wonder of the World.

You come to work in short sleeves and walk out at noon to find that a "blue northern" as blown through and the temperature has dropped 40 degrees.

Your neighbor's Christmas yard decorations are a re-creation of the gunfight at the OK Corral, complete with a ten-foot tree decorated with boots and cowboy hats, and a Santa Claus who looks a lot like Wyatt Earp.

You wander into a section of town where you can't read the street signs because they're written in Asian characters instead of English, but you don't care because you can get great prices on fake designer merchandise.

You go to an art festival and you're almost run down by hand-holding cross-dressers on roller blades.

You think "Y'all" is perfectly good usage if you're referring to more than one person.

For a Chili Cook off, you'll use anything from armadillo to frog's legs, but you know that the only GOOD chili is made with chopped - not ground beef, and it has NO beans and NO tomatoes.

Spring is not a season, Katy is not lady, and 1960 is not a year.

Society matrons of "a certain age" still sport big hair and faces that have gone east, west, and north rather than south.

You can leave your house, head out of town, and an hour later you still haven't left the city limits.

During rush-hour, you haven't left your NEIGHBORHOOD.

You've never seen I-45 and I-10 in any condition other than under construction - and you've lived here for more than 30 years.

You know that "Clutch City" has nothing to do with automobile transmissions.

"The Dream" is not a fantasy.

A 747 with the Space Shuttle riding piggyback has actually flown low right overhead, and nobody paid any attention to it.

You know that while saving you money, "Mattress Mac" has amassed more than the U.S. treasury.

You see nothing unusual about an eighty-something former sheriff's deputy who wears a white pompadour toupee and blue sunglasses, mispronounces names, allows televising of his frequent plastic surgeries, seems unnaturally obsessed with slime in the ice machine, and screams "MAR-VIN ZIND-ler, iiiii-witness news" into a
television camera every night. But some folks are still upset with him for shutting down the Chicken Ranch.

If the humidity is below 90 percent, it's a GOOD hair day.

 

[scubaleg]

You live in ARIZONA when . . .

You stand outside in a violent thunderstorm because it feels nice to have cool water land on you.

You are only aware of two seasons - "Hot" and "Damn Hot"

You think it is perfectly natural to live near a man-made lake with chemically treated bluegreen water in it.

From an airplane, you think you can actually spot your pink-tile roofed house with a pool in the backyard even though it looks exactly like every other house within 5 square miles.

You think swimming in water that's warmer than your body temperature is refreshing.

You believe it's a state law that every family must own at least one truck.

You feel claustrophobic when visiting any other state with "all those trees"

You actually believe it when you say, "But, it's a dry heat".
:nuts:

 

[Natasha]

These are so funny.
Having lived in New York in the early 80's all I can say is. "You mean Central Park isn't nature?" Having family in Arizona ..Hot and damn hot is a good description.
Having parents that still live in southern California .. 'The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway', sure rings a bell.
I was only in Alaska for a week. As far as sexy lingerie.. I kept my coat on in bed.
And well as the Texas part.. ya'll know I live with a Texan who definatly thinks the Astrodome is the 8th Wonder of the world.
Thanks for the laughs.

 

[KC_Scubabunny]

Originally posted by NetDoc

You live in the Midwest when . . .

You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.

Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.

You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.

You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?"

When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was different."
:tease:

I admit to all of these! I guess that makes me a true Kansas hick for life! As I kid, all I could think about was escaping. Now I can't begin to think of living anywhere else!

Heather

 

[jetblast00]

Originally posted by NetDoc

You live in New York City when . . .

You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.

You have never been to the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State
Building.

You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.

You think Central Park is "nature."

You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.

You've worn out a car horn.

You think eye contact is an act of aggression.

Hey, I know where Wisconsin is... It's out there, past the edge of the city... ut: