one of my friends FW this to me.
M_B
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A GENUINELY BAD DAY AT THE OFFICE
This is even funnier when you realize it's real! Next time you have
a bad day at work...think of this guy. Rob is a commercial saturation
diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on
offshore drilling rigs. Below is an e-mail he sent to his sister. She then
sent it to radio station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was
sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hi Sue, Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last
week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at
work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you
realize it's not so bad after all.
Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you
with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom
of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year
the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature.
It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is
taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used
it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the
bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my
wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a
Jacuzzi.
Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to
itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within
a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my
back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The hot
water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now,
since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it.
However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate.
When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually
grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt. I informed the dive supervisor
of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to
the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water
decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to
begin my dry chamber decompression.
When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass
helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter
running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on
my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I
couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut.
So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much
worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.
Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my
job."
M_B
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A GENUINELY BAD DAY AT THE OFFICE
This is even funnier when you realize it's real! Next time you have
a bad day at work...think of this guy. Rob is a commercial saturation
diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on
offshore drilling rigs. Below is an e-mail he sent to his sister. She then
sent it to radio station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was
sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hi Sue, Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last
week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at
work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you
realize it's not so bad after all.
Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you
with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom
of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year
the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature.
It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is
taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used
it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the
bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my
wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a
Jacuzzi.
Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to
itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within
a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my
back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The hot
water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now,
since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it.
However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate.
When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually
grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt. I informed the dive supervisor
of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to
the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water
decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to
begin my dry chamber decompression.
When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass
helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter
running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on
my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I
couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut.
So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much
worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.
Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my
job."
